Friday, 12 August 2011
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Shotty! I Let My Best Friend Call Dibs on the Guy I Liked
"Zack" was one of the best looking guys on our campus. He was in a frat, had great blue eyes and seemed to get any girl he wanted. So obviously my friend "Ashley" wanted him. We both went to a party where he was and Zack and I kept on making eye contact. I knew my friend Ashley wanted him but she literally avoided looking at him all night and wasn't making any moves so when Zack started flirting with me I couldn't resist.Okay, so I wasn't gonna actually try to hook up with him, I had my best friend's interest at heart so when we began talking he asked me for my number and I immediately said yes. My best friend saw the exchange and was absolutely livid that I was getting the number of the guy she had a crush on for a mere 5 seconds.
You should know that she has had about 5 different crushes in 5 weeks and was just looking for a hookup.
Honestly I was flattered but I never would have gone for him and I felt that I should take his number so that my best friend could actually have it. Without letting me explain, Ashley ran out of the room saying that she didn't want to speak to me.
I was so upset and when Zack came up to me again I said, "Listen, my friend really likes you and shes mad at me for talking to you. She's really funny and obviously beautiful and you should go up to her and talk to her." He told me that he would rather speak to me and I said I couldn't.
Eventually, he made his way over to her at the end of the night, she forgave me, and all was well in the world. That following week, Ashley had a date with him and decided he was too nice for her, "he said thank you like 10 times before we left! Gross!"
Deep down I was pissed at her. She called dibs on a guy, which I think sucks in the first place, and now because he was too nice, she's not into him. I honestly felt like she wouldn't have done the same for me if she had met a guy that I liked and decided she liked him. I thought it was a selfish thing to do on her part but at least I can say i was being a good friend.
Have you ever let a friend have a guy/girl that you liked?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (23)
Nah. I've never been in that situation, but were I single... I wouldn't "let" a friend call dibs on a guy unless it was a very specific kind of situation.
Guys are people, too. They have choices to make, and they like some people and not others. Letting a friend "have" a guy basically implies that he wants to date either of you. That's often not the case.
If both my friend and I liked a guy, I wouldn't go behind her back, but I'd let him know I liked him. I'd encourage her to do the same. If he liked one of us - great! He can date that person. If he likes both of us, I'd rather him date the person he likes more anyway; it'd suck for both me and my friend if he liked me more but dated her instead (or vice versa). If it's not me, that's too bad, but at least I know my friend and crush are with good people. If it *is* me, I'll just make it a point not to rub it in my friend's face.
Yeah! Just did this summer actually. The guy wasn't interested in me as anything more than a close friend and he seemed kind of interested in her so I "let" her have dibs on him. I still kinda like him, but now I will never know if our friendship will go any farther... Oh well.
Too nice? Too nice?! What the hell? I hear so many girls complain how all men are pigs. Why can't we celebrate the nice guys? :(
Depends on the situation. A friend is allowed dibs if the scenario was that her and him have been talking for awhile and they like each other but you decide you like him too. it would be wrong to do all you could to make him like you more. But as far as 5 seconds...yea there are no dibs. Honestly, life is too short to pass up a guy you like because your friend developed a 5 second crush on him. Like @RestlessPhoenix@xanga said...let him choose. And if your friend really gets that mad over you talking to him then maybe you need to rethink that friendship.
It seems like she doesn't even know what she wants. Yet, she felt she had the right to get mad at you when she didn't bother to go up to him and initiate things.
Well...no, not really lol. One of my friends liked this guy, and she was trying to hook me up with his roommate. Well, I wasn't into the roommate like that, but I happened to like the guy she did after a bit... I tried not to, and so did he, but we liked each other anyways. She was mad, but 2 months later she had a boyfriend, and 2 weeks short of a year later, I'm still with this guy.
I think that kind of pack mentality is stupid. Not only stupid, but disrespectful to the guy- doesn't he have any say in who he can pursue?
I had two friends that stopped talking to me for extended periods of time because I dated guys that they liked. Stupidly, they never even told me- or the guys in question- that they had a thing for them. Buuuut... that was in high school. They both grew up, explained it to me, and apologized.
For someone of your age to be doing that is a little dumb.
Get his number back and call him :D
You can't call dibs on people. That's horrific. If you and him clicked, she should have bowed to it.
This is why I love being a guy. You know how this conversation would go with one of my friends?
"Hey man, you knew I liked her."
"Yeah, but you've known about her all of 10 minutes and didn't make any moves. Plus, she came up to me."
"Yeah, that's true. Want to go play some basketball?"I had a friend who ALWAYS called dibs on guys I like. I could ask her if she liked him as a caution, she would say no, then I would confess I was totally into him. Next day she's braggin to EVERYONE how she snuck my crush through her window. I hate to say this happened alot, somehow the people I liked ended up in her bed. Even somehow a boyfriend that lvied 3 ours away "wanted" to have sex with her. I didn't talk to her a lot in highschool, but we were in cheerleading together and my two other best friends were her best friend and never took my side when I told them how she always tried to hookup with my boyfriends or crushes.
Now we are in college, my friend caught her stealing her medication and flirtin with her bf. NOW they believe me, stupid bitches. We haven't talked since graduation. Life is dramatically less dramatic.
...but he wasn't "the guy you liked." o.0 you incurred no loss.
lol, the guy who "gets any girl he wants" is too nice?
what.
...But you didn't even actually like the guy...I'm confused.
I don't buy it. you knew that you friend wanted him yet you still flirted with him with the eye contact just to see her angry reaction. you get off on knowing that the guy would choose you over her when you said that you were "flattered but I would never have gone for him", and play it off as if you were being a good friend for getting his number for her, but why get his number or flirt with him in the first place if you knew you weren't interested in him but your friend was.
At least Jenn is funny. Â This is terrible.
if he asked you for your # and you gave it to him... how could you of had her best interests and switch it around to getting HIS # so you could give it to her? o_O am i the only one who noticed this? lol. oh please, being a good friend my ass. you only changed your mind cuz you got caught.
I think you were secretly glad you friend wasn't making any moves on him at the party because then you could have him; but when you told her of your score you were upset by her reaction so you ended up giving her his number because you knew you were wrong.
first of all you i wouldn't call you a heroine for letting ur friend get the guy you like first. second, that ASHLEY is not your best friend at all for god's sake. think about it. if you like someone you should go for it.
@Liquid_Pain_523@xanga - LOL
First off, your friend sucks. that's no way to treat a friend and honestly sounds like something straight out of Mean Girls. Second off, WHY AREN'T YOU TRYING TO GET WITH THIS GUY NOW??? "Ashley" is obviously out of the picture, so get on it! One of my best friends is in a committed relationship with a boy I once had a huge crush on a hooked up with a few times and you know what, I don't care anymore because she is a better fit with him. I would never try to prevent my friends' happiness and I don't think you should let your friends try to prevent yours'. End of story. Go get 'em honey!!!
I never "let" a friend call dibs on a guy I liked. They always did it without my permission.
Wow that's pretty stupid.