Friday, 12 August 2011
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These Things I'll Never Say
Dear boyfriend,Do you have any idea what you're doing? I hate how you make me want to rip my hair out and run away from everything. I hate how you always cancel plans. I hate how you lie to me and still swear you never do. I'm not stupid and I know what you're doing. You're a liar and a cheat. Why am I with someone who only says he loves me, but never shows it?
Why do you get mad when I get upset? Why do you always say I should "never start with you?" NEWSFLASH, you're hurting me, and every single fucking time I try to bring something up you just yell, scream and bitch about how I drive you crazy. What is wrong with you? Take a minute to step out of your selfish eyes and look at the whole situation. You're going to college and you have the maturity of a 10-year-old, you're spineless, and you do whatever your friends say.
I have never seen a more selfish, spineless, immature person in my entire life. You are too afraid to go out and get a job. You're too afraid to confront anything so you just say "fuck them all." When I ask you to hold me like you love me and not like I'm a hooker you bitch and yell at me. When you hold your stupid pocketknife that I always tell you I hate in your hands, you don't put it down.
You claim you would never hurt me, and then we start fighting again. I can't even tell you when I'm upset about something because you always turn it back around on me. I am so sick of your bullshit and I'm sick of loving someone who doesn't deserve me. I'm younger than you but I am years ahead of you in maturity and intelligence. I'm going to be a surgeon, I'm going to be successful. Where are you going? Last time I checked, you have no idea what you're going to do.
I don't need you. You're lucky I'm so messed up that I'm too afraid to do anything because I'm afraid to be alone. I hide these feelings every day and kiss you back because it shuts you up. You say you love me, but do you really? I bet you feel something for me, but you're not treating me the way I deserve to be treated. You will be the death of me. You're the reason for my last two suicide attempts, and you're still to fucking dumb to realize it. I have come to the comclusion that you will never love me. You lie to me every day. I'm sick of it.
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- From: Le_Farfalle@xanga
- Name: Le_Farfalle
- Location: Long Island, New York, United States
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Comments (48)
Not to be rude but...why are you still with him?
Why are these things you'll never say?
Relationships are about being able to be open and honest with how you feel, and if you can't do that because of him, then I don't think he's worth your time and love.
You deserve to be happy!
DTMF
Sorry, but you need to dump him. He's not respecting you and you're allowing him to walk all over you. Move on with your life. You deserve better.
eta: You mentioned he's a liar AND a cheat. That's more than enough reason to get rid of this self-serving person.
to be quite frank, i don't like people like you. i would never befriend you, let alone date you. stop complaining and start taking control of your life.
-_- so once your're dead, maybe he will read this and finally get to read what you would never say to him. since he drives you to suicide and all. this post is ridiculous. seriously.
sorry to join the bandwagon but this post is too intense. im scared for whoever wrote this. counseling may help, oh and dump this person ASAP
You should be more scared to be in this relationship than being alone. You'll be better off when you're alone and away from this loser. Break up with him. You'll feel better once you do.
Be strong and leave him. You can do it.
Be with someone who cares.
just the way that I feel!!!!! but now I'm leaving him
he does nothing good for you, i don't see why you're still with him. Break it off, you'll feel a huge load come off you and you'll be way happier in the long run! :)
I'd say break up with him.
dump him. Find someone better.
I know being alone is scary but if he leaves you first, you'll be feeling so much worse because you knew it was going to happen but didn't leave quicker.
I think that if you know what a POS he is, you need to get out before things go downhill further. :(
I hope you move on without him soon! Good luck!!
Is he in The Family Business or something?
Seems like being alone would be lots more fun.
Both of you sound seriously messed up. Break up, and get yourself some help to sort out your own life. He is not the reason for your suicide attempts.No one else is responsible for keeping you alive or even for making you comfortable in your life/want to live. YOU are responsible for taking care of you, and creating the life you want. So, work on you, it's the best investment you can make. You will be so proud, pleased and amazed to find that the more stable you are, the better relationships you will be having. It's worth the effort.
it's going to be tough becoming a surgeon if you're suicidal
you should really break up with him. i assume you haven't b/c it's hard & you probably don't want to be single..
and i agree with the person saying that he is not the reason for your suicide attempts. you need to be responsible and control the situation.
@ccccourage@xanga - I want to recommend your comment 100x.
OP - seriously, wtf? Get help. No one controls you but you, no one can make you do anything but you. You need some serious help if you're willingly staying in this abusive relationship that you KNOW is abusive and wrong.
When I was 16, I dated a guy that fit this to a T (plus he was physically abusive on top of it). I literally felt like 16-year-old-me had written that post of yours. I was with him for 2 years when I realized "hey, this isn't what love and relationships are supposed to be like". I left him when I was 18. I'm 23. The past 5 years of my life have been the GREATEST years of my life. Fucking amazing years. I look back on those 2 miserable years with him and realize I was temporarily insane and allowed my own issues to take over. I got through those issues with the right help. I wouldn't wish your relationship on anybody. Get help. Get out.
Unless you dump him, things will only get worse... no use complaining if you're not willing to fix it. /:
Why are you still with him...........
break up,you dont need someone like him.
you're going to look back and be so glad you broke up with him when you finally do. trust me I know