I know I'll most likely get a lot of heat for this, not that I care, but I ask myself every day, "What does being poor have to do with finding a good, decent woman?" Of course, the answer is simple--
Women tend to want a wealthy man more than they would a poor boy like myself. They don't seem to understand that poor men are sometimes better than rich men. In this, I explain why women should stop thinking about a man's wealth and think more about his deeds toward them, as well as what is in the heart and mind of a man.
First, women shouldn't think that rich men will make them happier than a poor boy would. I've seen too many wealthy couples who are as unhappy as can be, because they put too much emphasis on money and not enough on love. They want to expand their purses and their pocketbooks more than they do their minds and hearts toward one another. And as a result, relationships end and marriages are broken by divorce.
Second,
just because a man is wealthy does not mean he is Mr. Right. He could be a multi-millionaire and still be a worthless sot. He could treat women like garbage and use them to his advantage and then toss them away like they do not exist. Just because a man is rich does not mean he is good to be around. He could be just as worthless as Monopoly money, in matters of heart and soul, as well as mind. In short, he could be rich as Midas, and still be a jackass. So for you women out there who think rich men are so special, don't make me laugh.
In truth, women seem to place an emphasis on the monetary side of a relationship. They care more about what a man makes in matters of money and goods more than what is in his heart and mind. But when the money runs out, they run out on him like he is a leper. Take my word for it, ladies, money is not the most important thing in a relationship. What's most important is that your beloved respects you, treats you like a human being, and stays loyal to you, and you alone. That is what I call a good relationship.
Hell, I live on Social Security, and I don't look any leaner for it. So why should women reject me based on the fact I make a meager living off of Social Security? Because, of course, they feel that I cannot show them a good time with money and goods. That is not necessarily true. I could take them to a movie, or go places with them, and not even break my budget. I am not much different than a rich man, except for the fact that I am not a jackass and a stuck-up snob who speaks sweet words and has nothing to back them up with.
You want to know what makes me rich, ladies? Well, I will tell you.
The thing that makes me rich is not money, but spirit. I am so full of energy and spunk that one might almost think I could almost be the Donald Trump of energy and spunk. True, I have moments of sadness and moodiness, but then again, doesn't everyone?
All I am trying to say to you women out there is this--Don't put money in first place in a relationship. Think more of a man's deeds than his money. It will be better for both you and your love, believe you me.
Do you prefer rich men? Why or why not?
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Comments (103)
I shake my head at both posts.
I think a lot of women can agree with me on this: I'm not materialistic, but I have high aspirations for myself, and I would expect whoever I am with to have similar aspirations. It's not a matter of how much money he makes, but I want someone on my own level. I'm not rich at all, but I'm a college graduate with a reasonable income. I would expect whoever I am with to have a similar educational/occupational status as myself. So it's not so much the money factor (I can provide for myself), but the fact that I want someone who is educated and goal-driven. Actually, I don't want someone who is extremely wealthy, because it means their work will likely come before me. I don't like either extreme.
I used to date a moody, irresponsible, rude boy from a well-to-do family. He had no aspirations. He was an asshole. And I should've walked away sooner.
Then I met my fiance, who is the complete opposite - he isn't rich by any means, but he has goals. Best of all, he treats me like gold in every aspect. And though he isn't wealthy, he is still smarter about money than I am. We're both only 20, so we haven't gotten that far together with money matters, but when he's broke I pick up the slack. When I'm broke, he does. So we support one another the best we can.
I'm also with the first commenter - you want to be with someone who will be at the same level you're at. That makes a lot of sense. That's different from an empty-headed girl (or guy) who uses a man (or woman) for their pockets.
Your article is very well written, but you're making a rash assumption. Yes, money is an attractive feature, but it's not a dominating feature. I find women who date men just because they have a lot of money to be extremely shallow, and the truth is most women are not like that. For most women, money is near the bottom of the list of things they look for in men. You also have to take into consideration that wealthy men tend to feel more confident and empowered than poorer men, and those traits spark attraction more than the money does.
I always thought that being rich would increase my opportunities for women, but I'll say that right now my relationship prospects are not that bad at all, considering I have no job or car.
However, when I did have both, I had a hard time finding anyone to date. Its weird.
But I still want to be well off, or at least not have to worry about excess bills.
Nothing. Because good, decent women know that wealth is not an accurate indicator of one's decency as a person and partner in life.
It does go back to how women like to feel secure, and unfortuntaely security today translates into money. That said let me tell you that there are women out there that do not put money number one in the relationship. I'll tell you straight up that I am not with my husband for the money...never was. I watched him lose job after job, and I stuck right by his side. But guess what?! Now I am the moneymaker, and that is fine with me. But I do expect my husband to help out in other areas while I'm at work...like with the kids or cleaning.
SSI...are you physically unable to work? If you are unable to work that is a different ball game. Women don't want bums that aren't willing to make an effort to work, but if something prevents you from working then that's not your fault. Just keep in mind though you have to be the right guy to find the right girl...or just lucky. Keep looking...you'll find her.
The poster makes a good point and I tend to agree with what he has to say. However, I'm ambitious by nature and I enjoy achieving. It brings me HAPPINESS to study diligently at school or to work hard to build a successful and meaningful (key word) career. Running 4 miles faster than I did two weeks ago also makes me happy. Being able to purchase new clothes on a regular basis and being able to travel for the adventure and the experience also makes me happy. Having an equally ambitious life partner who enjoys many of the things that I enjoy, however, is more important than all of these combined. It's almost like a weighted equation. So, for example: success at work (.3) + physical / mental health (.3) + compatible life partner (.4).
Biology comes into play, as well. Women are biologically programed to want to have children and raising children requires money, so it's only natural that women (some, but not all) are interested in dating men with the financial capacity to raise children.
Materialistic habits also contribute. Some (some, but not all) women value (think 'marginal utility') shoes and clothes and makeup and having lots of nice things over their relationships. In this case, money trumps character and spirit.
IMO, it's all about balance. Dating men at either end of the financial spectrum (poor or excessively wealthy) is not what I'm looking for because men at either end of the spectrum are generally fundamentally incompatible (with me). A balanced life in all aspects (work, personal, health, etc.) is the way to go.... in my opinion.
Did this even make any sense? haha...
so... you live on social security, but you vote republican? man o man, someones full of contradictions. i wonder what lies the conservatives told you.
but on to the main topic of the post. i'm guessing you've been rejected by a fair number of women. maybe you've been dumped recently, or even frequently. maybe these girls that you were into started dating guys of higher socioeconomic standing then you. these women don't give you reasons for why they aren't into you. in order to explain this, you come up with a reason that does not indicate a character flaw in yourself. i.e. "women only go for wealthy guys, i'm not wealthy. that means that they are shallow, not that there is something wrong with me"
is being on social security a desirable quality that women typically look for in a guy? no. it indicates that you cannot provide for yourself, let alone a wife and family. you cannot "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" as the republicans would like you to. that is why women would rather their future husband be rich rather then poor. BUT the key point that you are leaving out is that wealth is not the deciding factor for most. are there shallow people out there? of course. but the vast majority of women would date or marry men who are not wealthy IF they like them enough. if you are in love with someone, it won't matter how much money they make, you will still love them. will you encourage them to do better for themselves? of course. but its not typically a deal breaker barring other factors such as drug addiction, mental illness, plain ole laziness etc.
these women that you're into aren't rejecting you because you're poor, they're rejecting you because they're just not that into you. (cliche, but true) its not your lack of money, its you. quit making excuses for yourself, quit feeling sorry for yourself, and quit going after women who aren't into you. there is someone out there for you, she might not look like a super model, but she will love you. but before you find her, you have to work on your own issues. work on bettering yourself in the meantime, and you will find someone.
@NinaRose_85@xanga - Yep, agreed.
Evolutionarily speaking, men seek out youthful looking women because they're more likely to be fertile and able to bear children (looks being vital to a woman's appeal) while women sought out men who could provide for their children (ability to provide being more vital to a man's appeal). Women also are more attracted to very masculine men during their period (better genes) while they're more attracted to less masculine men during the rest of the month (more nurturing, more likely to take care of children).
Obviously, people are not driven solely by those reasons anymore. But women do, generally, appreciate feeling secure. Also, I don't feel like most women now judge a man because he's poor, but if you have a chip on your shoulder about it then they're obviously going to find that unattractive.
Money is important not because it "buys" happiness, but because it prevents things like fights, divorce, control issues, ego issues, that often stem from being in financial straits. Money is nice to have because if a family is financially secure, that's a huge burden off of their backs. Paying off a mortgage is exciting because now the house is yours and the payments stop. The world is run by money and if you don't have it, there are troubled times ahead.
I would like my partner to make roughly the same as me, as long as they are in a job they love. I'd rather be with someone who is happy than someone who is rich.
Wealth is attractive because it means there is some sense of security not only for the woman's lifestyle and livelihood but also for her potential offspring as well. It's not the end all, be all of things but it ranks pretty high up there on the list. But lets not forget that a man who tries to buy a woman's attention or is constantly flaunting his wealth about will inevitably come across as insecure and will ultimately be resented by the women he tries to practice such things on.
On the other hand wealth can be a good indicator of other traits, especially if the person is "self made". If they acquired their own fortune it means their intelligent, driven, ambitious, etc. to some degree, all attractive qualities.
Any woman that solely looks for a man to take care of her or truly believes it's a man's "job" to do so, is just simply not worth your time to begin with. She's shallow, she's insecure, and worst of all, she's lazy and nothing more than eye candy; and looks will eventually fade so what's the point?
Now I come from a wealthy family and my hometown consists of even wealthier people, usually doctors, lawyers, or businessmen. If I learned one thing over the years, money certainly doesn't make you happy and it's not everything (although try frowning on a waverunner). A lot of the parents were so distracted by their money and the entailing problems that they ignored their kids, who then became train wrecks, and a vicious cycle began.
I place more stock in personality than anything else.
On a different note...This I found rather odd.
"I am so full of energy and spunk that one might almost think I could almost be the Donald Trump of energy and spunk."
And yet you live on social security...? You don't have to be wealthy to attract a woman but you do need a job of some kind. Hell, you could be disabled and still put together a website that generates a bit of income. Maybe put some of that energy towards employment.
Financial issues are one of the top stressors in marriages, and financial
stabilityis found to impact your overall happiness by a LOT.
I'm probably not going to be able to make too much money (I'd guess around 50-70k a year), and I find it unattractive if my boyfriend is less successful than I am, so I want to date a guy who makes more than that and has a stable job.
You're so wrong when you say that money is the most important thing to women. It's only one of the most important things.
For example, my current boyfriend is aiming for a Ph.D in computer science, and I absolutely love his personality (minus how he tends to substitute anger/frustration when he really just feels sad), but he's kind of short, and he doesn't have the best body compared to one of my ex's. Oh and I'm very satisfied with our sex life, but I wouldn't mind if his member was about a inch longer.
But so what? I'm very happy dating him and don't see myself leaving him for any reason soon. I can see myself having a wonderful future together with him, and his expected financial stability only makes things even better.
Okay this post is full of stereotypes and assumptions that I am going to ignore, and I'm going to also ignore your personal back story about being poor.
I am attracted to a man who knows how to dress well, take care of his body through nutrition and exercise, and who is dedicated to his work. I am attracted to the selfish man who works in his field because it is what he loves to do, and not for self-sacrifice or for the good of others.
Therefore, I am attracted to a wealthy man because it is likely that he embodies all of these ideals. I have met very few underclass people who exemplify what I have described above, but it is not impossible. Wealth, in this case, is the fruit of the selfish man's labor, and he uses it to better himself mentally and physically.
@vain_apathy@xanga - thank you. I was reading your comment and nodding all the way through. Even guessed the endings of two of your sentences :D
i prefer a man who is employed and has future ambitions for himself.being employed or having ambitions doesnt mean the guy will be wealthy though. so a guy doesnt need to be loaded in the bank, just have a damn job. =) i dont like the idea of being the sole "bread winner" in a relationship. me paying for everything... @_@ and most men wouldnt like that idea either. at my age however, most people (men and women) are barely getting by and trying to figure out what to do with themselves. so i sure as hell dont expect any one of them to be making bank, including myself. so when i look at a future prospect, i dont look to see if he is rich or poor, i look to see if he has his shit together. which includes being employed. =) tho unless the guy was ill and couldnt work for himself, the idea of living off social security would turn me off. if youre so full of life and energy, why arent you working. know what i mean.
wealth may signify that he has a lot of drive to achieve success, although success and wealth do not have to correlate. if he does not have wealth to show for his success, then what other non-wealth related successes and/or specific selfless acts of kindness has he contributed to humanity??? other than the usual positive characteristics that a lot of other people have, such as nice, sweet, funny, smart, etc...which does not necessarily mean that he is right for me either...because it isn't just what one has, but how they utilize it. then what sets you or him apart from the rest of the bunch? I know jackasses and I also know nice guys, but they might not catch my attention because if there isn't a chemistry connection, then there isn't.
Plain and simple, I would never get into a relationship with a man who lives on Social Security unless he had a physical or mental disadvantage that put him there. Why? I'm a university student with aspirations, and I wouldn't be attracted to someone who wasn't at least working or aspiring to something bigger. Sorry, but the reality is, most women don't want to feel like every penny in the household has to come from their labor. It has nothing to do with being shallow or opportunistic and more to do with being realistic; honestly, love and a great personality aren't going to pay the unavoidable bills.
Would I marry a man because he is rich? No.
Would I refuse to marry a man because he is poor and doesn't act on any aspirations to change that? Yes.
I don't care about money. If the guy is willing to work hard and put the time and effort into things then I really don't mind. I was raised around people who had lots of money and well it gets disgusting after a bit. My boyfriend right now is from Mexico, from a lower class, and is studying medicine in Mexico. My parents hate him b/c he doesn't have money. I love him because of who he is. I wish more people would understand that.
@my_horizon@xanga - Are you for real? Your comment seems so contrived.
because you can't take care of babies and they will starve.
I never wanted a wealthy man, but i wanted one that could put his own food on the table. I don't mind hunting squirrel for myself, but it's a bit annoying if I have to do everything.
Call me a disney princess.
I told them to just let me be a whore during my young years so that I'd fit in socially.
Dating destroys me at work, which is the purpose of my existence.
I wanted to make myself wealthy, but that was prevented.