Wednesday, 10 August 2011
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I Don't Want to Get Serious with You, I Hope You Don't Mind
You know when you begin talking to someone and you sort of get the idea that they are really into you, or they really just want to have sex with you? Well I kind of don't want to get serious with this new guy I've been talking to and I feel like he feels the same way. At least I hope he does because if he doesn't, it's gonna get pretty awkward.Actually, I would rather just have fun in my last few weeks home and hey, why not have fun with one person who's showing interest.
I'm not exactly sexually frustrated per say, I would say my sex life has been pretty vanilla to put lightly. I've always believed that you only have sex with the people you are in love with but honestly I'm only getting older and if I don't have some irresponsible fun now then when?
It's okay to not be serious sometimes, and sometimes its necessary. When discussing dating I discovered that I only date those that I think have potential to get serious with. But saying no to everyone won't teach you anything. I almost feel like if I don't go out there and just date I'll become stunted and immature in the ways of dating and when someone perfect comes around they'll think of me as inexperienced.
I'm not saying I want to have sex with everyone and I'm certainly not dating everyone just for the hell of it. I just want to date and see what happens with this guy who most likely will be a fond memory.
So now as the summer is unwinding I'm becoming less wound up and feeling the urge to explore my single girl benefits.
I don't want to be this guy's friend and I don't want to meet his parents and I certainly don't want to get serious as I'm going back to school. So is it wrong to just want to have someone you can hang out with to keep you company (obviously not stringing them along in hopes of becoming serious)? Guys do this all of the time so why can't I?
I say why not have a good time with a guy who calls me sexy and forget all the judgments that may come my way. It's nice to have some attention for a little while without the intention of creating a relationship.
What do you think about starting something up with no intentions of becoming serious?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (16)
"Guys do this all of the time so why can't I?"
I think it's fine if you're being upfront about what it is.
@RestlessPhoenix@xanga - I agree as long as he knows what's going on. Men aren't as callous and unfeeling as some would lead you to believe they can fall very hard sometimes very fast. You like him as a friend and I'm sure you don't want to hurt him so I would suggest you have that awkward conversation now before someone ends up getting hurt. He may think an end of summer fling is a grand idea or he may already think you're an item in which case now would be the best time to find out.
if you're upfront and honest from the very beginning, i don't see a problem.
Agreed, go ahead and have whatever fun you like, but make sure your intentions are stated and understood from the get-go. Don't just go screwing around assuming they'll know you have no intention of getting serious; massive douche move, and quite a waste of time and potential effort on your partners' part. If you're not absolutely positive the guy you're seeing now knows, talk now or it'll only get more awkward later.
I think it would be ok if both parties involved agree from the beginning of the arrangement. I guess I'll say that I can accept the fact of the situation, but I don't believe it will go on too long before the relationship will change form. I think I'll have to say I don't believe in "friends with benefits."
Just don't assume. Tell him what you're thinking.
I don't think this is something I could do personally at this point in my life, but I don't judge other people for their life choices. People have different things that make them happy, and if they're not hurting anyone else in their quest for happiness, I see no right on anyone else to judge.
This is terrible. Â Just terrible.
I dated a guy for seven months after we both agreed that it was never going to go anywhere and we didn't have any romantic feelings for each other, we just wanted someone to have sex with exclusively.
We became really good friends too obviously, but then he gave me a silver necklace with a pink pearl on it and a little pamphlet talking about how pink pearls mean love and affection.I broke things off a few days later and gave the necklace back, and we had to stop talking for a while but now we're friends again and he's been living with his girlfriend for a year and he said I was his "relationship training wheels" which I think is hilarious.Do it. Being single and frigid is boring. Having a guy to fool around with is good for the soul.
Make sure BOTH of you know what's up. The thing about no-strings-attached relationships is that you actually do have to communicate, at the very least so neither of you have the wrong idea. This is one of those times where you just have to be like "So let's have sex, but I have no interest in anything other than your body." Crystal clear. Then monitor the situation. If you haven't done this sort of thing before, watch yourself and him. I tried various single girl situations and found that I can totally do casual sex, just not in a friends-with-benefits kind of way. More like a once, twice we've got it out of our system.
as long as you both agree on it.. :)
this happened to me and I thought she was finally giving me a chance after all these years but after that night, I got all kind of responses from her from "i am not ready for a relationship" to "you deserve someone better" to "we have different expectation" to "I like european guys"
I don't regret that night because I really do care about her and I liked her for a long time...but it hurts...a whole lot. It felt like I got pushed off of cloud nine and into the pit of spikes...if she would have told me that she just wanted to have fun, then at least I wouldn't have fallen so hard for her...
just make sure you both understand. yes, have fun while you're single. have no expectations.