Wednesday, 10 August 2011
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Working Hard or Hardly Working?
This post was submitted by an anonymous user.When I first started talking to Nick, we hit it off right away. He would make time for me and meet me whenever he said he would. Then as time progressed, I noticed that he kept using the "I'm busy" excuse. He even apologized once, brought it up to me himself without me mentioning anything saying he didn't want me to think he was avoiding me and that his job is truly unpredictable, but I'm starting to think he is avoiding me.
We work at the same place but in different buildings so we could easily see each other, but I'm not going to show up unannounced if we haven't planned on hanging out. He asked me what my schedule was like for this week to see when he could make time for me and then he said he would get back with me at the end of the week. It's the end of the week and I still haven't heard from him. I feel like he says one thing and does another.
I'm debating on whether or not to be annoyed at this excuse, especially when he first started off making time for me and now he's not. It's not like I ask him to hang out all the time either. He said he's usually free for lunch or we just wait until the weekend to hang out which I think is an okay amount of time to spend together and not too much. Another guy, Brandon, I'm not really into him but I know he likes me. Luckily, we don't have schedules which fit to hang out. When he's working I'm not working and when I'm not working he's working, so it really is "I'm busy" there.
I am not sure if I want to give Nick another chance if he ever does make time to hang out again or let it go since we barely know each other. I thought he could be a potential dating interest because he asked me if I had a boyfriend as though he was interested to get to know me as more than friends. At this day and age, I'm just tired of the mind games. What would you do?
Has anyone ever given you the "I'm busy" excuse to not hang out? Did you buy that or are they really busy? Have you ever given anyone this excuse?
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Comments (8)
the way is see it - even if he is being 100% honest about being busy, he isn't necessarily someone you'd want to date. being with a boyfriend who has such an unpredictable schedule and who can sometimes be so busy would not be very fun for me.... getting to know each other through that would seem like a very difficult and frustrating prospect.
either way you flip the coin, it seems like he isn't worth the bother - if he's honest, you're going to see him very sporadically, so he might be better off as a friend until his schedule evens out. and if he's a liar, well, we all know he's rubbish.
I usually say what I'm busy with - a meeting, parents visiting, hw/essays, hanging with the guys, work, etc.
When I was beginning to talk to this guy, he was always very busy with work. He'd work long and late hours, so sometimes it was a hassle to see each other (I was going to school). But he always made time and effort to see me because he was really interested in me. Not saying that this guy isn't, but maybe it isn't worth the effort on your part if he's not putting in just as much effort.
I've learned that busy is never an okay excuse. In such a connected world, it's not hard to take 30 seconds to send someone a text to let them know you are thinking about them. I'm busy just doesn't cut it for me anymore - I am too and if I wanted to make time for someone, I would!
Most people don't know how to manage their time and thus are more "busy" than they should be.
So here's the thing.Everyone makes time for what is important to them.
Cases in point: I once had a friend who claimed she didn't have the money to take a trip with me, but subsequently went on three different trips with other people. I once had a friend who told me she was "too busy with school to hang out this month" but I know for a fact that she went to parties, hung out with her boyfriend and at least 3 of our other mutual friends. Neither of these people was short on time or money--they just weren't really interested in spending time with me.
Same goes for this guy. If he loves sports, I bet he's watching them. If it's important to him to date around, he's probably seeing other girls. If it's important to him to spend 2 hours at the gym every night, he's probably doing it. No one is "too busy" for the people that truly matter to them--at least not for very long.
If someone's actions and words don't match, ALWAYS BELIEVE THEIR ACTIONS. This guy is claiming he wants to see you, but he really doesn't. So your best bet is to admit to yourself that he's not interested and just let him go.