Sunday, 07 August 2011
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PDA: Love it or Hate it?
Sometimes I think PDA can be really sweet. For instance, when you see a couple hug or caress each other in a delicate way.
However, when people are dry humping on the floor, having a way too intense make out session on the subway or grabbing at each other’s parts in public places, it’s just perverse and gross. Like, can’t you be a little respectful to the people around you? We have a right to not being obligated to see that, don’t we?
My god father used to tell me that I only didn't like PDA because I'd never been in love before.
I never agreed with him even though at the time I still hadn't been in love, but now I think I can say that I am more accepting of it. Even though in certain situations I still don't necessarily like it, I blame that primarily on my personality of wanting to keep things that are intimate intimate.
My friend Jessica* and her boyfriend Kyle* used to make out in front of me all the time. At first it was whatever, but eventually it got to the point where I would never hang out with them unless there was someone else besides me and them.
I was such a third wheel. I am not even exaggerating when I say that they could not keep their hands off each other.
It was like a never ending cycle of horniness.
I would be having a conversation with Jessica and she'd be talking with me while making out so her words would be muffled. It was a little ridiculous. I always felt the need to turn away or pretend to be interested in something else as a distraction, but in reality I always felt so uncomfortable and regretted agreeing to hang out with them.
What I find funny is when some people respond to those who don't like PDA by saying, "well if you don't like it, you don't have to watch."
The problem with that is, if it’s going on I can't help it but to watch because they keep drawing attention to themselves. It’s like I am trying to avert my eyes, but they keep awkwardly falling back on to the PDA-ers, and when I do look away it’s with a deliberate effort. Why should I put so much work into looking away because you are so touchy feely?
As you can see I have very mixed feelings about the PDA. I do believe there is a line between acceptable and unacceptable, but sometimes it’s a little too blurry to define. Regardless, PDA is the big giveaway that you are more than friends with a person and that you don't care about showing it publicly.
What are your feelings on PDA? Are you as mixed as I am?
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About the Author
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- From: savyadvice
- About Me: Born and raised in NYC, I am about to be a senior in college, and still feel clueless about exactly what I'm going to do after I graduate. For most of my life, I haven't been involved in anything too serious except for one relationship 2 years ago and one that is progressively getting serious now. Dating can be really exciting or extremely stressful sometimes, I'm excited to try and unblur (just coined a new word) the fine lines between the two here on this site. =)
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Comments (14)
I don't mind PDAs to a certain point. I think it's very sweet when couples are affectionate towards each other with the handholding, tender kisses and what not. However, imho, full-on groping body parts and heavy make-out sessions with tongue and spit are disrespectful and maybe that couple should get a room. Whatever. I turn my head and move along.
I'm fine with small stuff like kisses, hand holding, hugging, whispering in each other's ears; you know, tender moments like that. That's about as far as PDA for my boyfriend and I have. We love each other very much, we're just private people.
But, I can't stand people who continually act like they're the only people in the room or the only people in public. Sure I don't have to watch but I sure as hell hear a lot. People like sister and her boyfriend wrestle, tickle, scream, and make out loudly. And, I'm like. "I'm...right...here..."
She talks to you while making out with him? That must do wonders for his self esteem. LOL sounds like they're just putting on a show. I don't try to look away in fact if they cross "the line" I'll start offering play by play commentary just so they know I'm giving them all the attention that they're apparently so in need of.
I saw a young couple out on a bridge making out. The place had few people, but there were definitely people walking by. It wasn't hardcore, it was more cute. I think that's appropriate, but it's borderline. A few weeks ago, I saw a couple under a tree on CAMPUS that were making out. She was lying down and the guy was holding her and kissing really passionately. Many people were walking by in such an open area. That was definitely not appropriate.
PDA is okay, but keep it appropriate and I believe it should be fairly short. If you want to get wild, do it somewhere secluded.
I saw a girl caress and rub her bf ass cheek today at the store. Kinda a grossed me out...ughh
It's different for everyone I felt uncomfortable kissing my ex in front of my friends.
Well if she's talking to you, she may be glancing at you occasionally. I suggest making ridiculously disturbing faces at them to ruin the moment.
As long as it's just the couple for themselves, it is absolutely okay in my opinion. But once other people are involved, e.g. when going out in a group (not a double date or anything of that sort), it seems fairly inconsiderate to me if they act exaggeratedly lovey-dovey, especially when people try having a proper conversation with them.
It's hard for me to have a set opinion on PDA. Having been totally head over heels at one point I know what it's like to have those urges, and to be excited to have someone to reciprocate. But there is a certain point where it is less sharing a moment with your partner and more sharing the fact that you're getting some with the world, and because of that PDA should just be kept to a minimum.
Oh please cry me a fucking river. At least you can show some kind of PDA without someone condemning you to hell because it's "unnatural".
I think there should be more PDA. I'm not offended by it at all. I'd be horrified to see a mugging or something like a drug deal going down. PDA is sweet.
But PDA in a group of only 3 like that is rude.
I think I pretty much agree with most people who commented already.
I'm fine with the tender, cute little things such as holding hands and sneaking quick little kisses, since I do that all the time with my boyfriend.
However, stuff like huge make-out sessions are just not cool in my book, lol.
I saw a lesbian couple get very exhibitionist at the zoo a couple days ago. Now, I don't care whether you're straight or gay, if you get super handsy and makey-outey in public, I want you banished to an island. And that island blown up
I prefer just holding hands, and a kiss every now and then when I'm out with my boyfriend. So far, he's very well-behaved on that front! When we're with friends, we usually keep it to just holding hands. In any case, when we go out, we get enough dirty looks as it is because apparently I look younger than my 21 years and he looks his age of 28 (I got asked for my ID to prove I was over 15 to go see a movie a while ago, FML)!
I love small PDA like holding hands, putting a hand on my boyfriend's knee when we sit together somewhere, or a small kiss every now and again. I'm not (and never have been) a fan of making out in public or anything beyond. I mean, yes, it's a free country, and yes, you don't have to watch, but you're in PUBLIC. Everyone is watching! I get that you love eachother, or lust eachother, whatever, but there has to be some sort of decorum about yourself. I used to have friends like the ones OP mentioned. I eventually just stopped hanging out with both of them because I got tired of it. I figured when they were done doing eachother they would come around.