Thursday, 04 August 2011
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Alleged Rapist Has Four Daughters with Victim
Last week, I was watching the Today Show (which I do every day... yes, Ann Curry is my guilty pleasure) and Matt Lauer was doing a story on a couple from Texas. I was almost immediately appalled, and nonetheless completely drawn in: The husband is a convicted sex offender and has been for many years and I actually feel bad for him.Frank was a high school senior when he met his current Mrs over 15 years ago. At the time, Nikki was a freshman and just shy of her 16th birthday-- in Texas 17 was the age of consent. Being that they were a very young happy couple, they blissfully chose to have sex. They both knew what could go wrong, but they never imagined the true scale or the reality.
Nikki's mother allegedly hated her relationship so much that after an argument with Nikki, she filed a charge against him for statutory rape. This was her parents' way of raging against teen sex. He was arrested and charged and plead guilty. He was sentenced to seven years probation and now has to live with his name on the sex offender list.
Once Nikki was old enough, the couple got married. They now have four children and are still together. Frank is not allowed to coach his daughters' soccer teams.
Frank is still on the sex offender's registry in the same grouping as rapists-- people who forcibly have sex with other men, women, and children. For Frank, his case is exceptionally unfortunate. Many people view child rapists as the scum of the scum.
In actuality, Frank is clearly not a bad man. He married this woman. She may not have been of proper age at the time, but she clearly consented and they have been together for over 15 years.
How do you feel about this? Should Frank's case be an exception? Should he continue to be punished as if he was truly a rapist?
Have you ever been in Frank and Nikki's shoes?
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- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 21. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
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Comments (64)
I think these types of cases should be judged on a case by case basis. I don't feel he deserves to be on the sex offender registy list, forever (if at all, period). I would rather be warned about someone who is actually a threat to me/my kids, not someone like him.
this upsets me so much. i feel like at the rate the high schoolers are going out there, all the girls are being "raped" and most of the guys are "rapists" then.
I've never been in Frank's shoes before, but I have read many similar accounts to this. I'm glad Texas has the 3 year exception for the age of consent.
There is no shortage of archaic and unfair regulation in the US government, and there is nothing we can do except for either a) don't do what we shouldn't do or b) don't get caught doing things that can get us into trouble. Oh, and we can try to work toward changing things as well. Progress is always nice, even if it can't fix the problems for those whom the US justice system already failed.
I have a friend whose on the sex offender list because he drunkingly peed in public. I thought that sucked pretty bad. I think both cases are pretty awful. Technically, Frank did do statutory rape, but in most cases like that parents don't come forward and file charges. I can only imagine how awkward family gatherings must be.
I don't see how this is can be "rape" if they both gave each other consent. Poor guy, must suck. Also, the title of this post is pretty misleading. She wasn't a victim, nor was he really a rapist. No one said "no." They were two teenagers who decided to have sex, and one mom decided to get all aggro because she didn't agree with it and now he's stuck on this terrible list and is considered part of a group of horrible people. Horrible people who actually take advantage of a person and forcibly have sex with them even though they said "no." In general, i feel sympathy for this guy. I don't think he really deserves it. It's pretty extreme.
This reminds me, I read a post here once by a guy in his 40s. He was in a relationship with a girl who, unbeknownst to him, was underage. Her parents let him come over and everything and even they lied about her age. Something happened, she accused him of statutory rape and his entire life was ruined. His children don't even have any friends because their parents think their dad will rape them.
That being said, I think it's complete and utter bullshit that people can scream rape at any guy (statutory or not) and just because he's the one with a dick, he'll get registered as as sex offender. Girls can do whatever the hell they want and at the end of the day if they didn't enjoy a sexual experience or feel guilty about it, they can accuse the guy of rape and he goes to jail. I absolutely hate that the system works that way.
Sure people shouldn't have sex with minors in the first place, but it's unfair that a guy who was just having sex with a girl he cared for is lumped in the same category as a maniac pedophile who masturbates to photos of young children every night. That needs to be changed.
@blondiedeam@xanga - The term statutory rape doesn't literally mean 'rape'. It just means you had sex with a minor. I think it's weird too, that the term has the word rape in it when rape isn't necessary for you to go to jail for statutory rape.
He doesn't deserve it imo, it's not like he left her or had sex with other women at the same time (or at least I don't think so?) and she consented.
haven't been in this situation. I was still a naive schoolgirl geek, who would rather study and be at the top of my class than date twerps lol. I didn't even date when I was that age yet, let alone have sex with older guys. I've known a guy, who had sex with a minor, and her parents also reported him and got a restraining order against him. I don't feel bad for him though because he's a manwhore, who sleeps around and isn't with her anymore. each situation varies, so it depends.
It is one of those case by case basis things and I wouldnt have charged him. However for that last part tell me this:
If a 12 year old consents to a 30 year old, is it still rape?
@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - Your comment said it all.
Case by case basis! Come on, you can't lump a guy like this in with a REAL rapist. And I say real rapist because this guy is NOT one, at all.
If anyone is the rapist, the mom deserves to be on that list.
At least he still gets to see his family.
@lforletty@xanga - What? Why would it matter if he left her or was having sex with another person? She consented that is all that should matter.
@different_one1@xanga - I think I didn't word it right, I meant the fact that he was so dedicated to her shows how innocent he was and how he doesn't deserve this fate, not that those are factors in determining rape or not.
@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - I agree! He's not a threat and doesn't deserve to be on that list.
He can go be an alleged murderer too, for all I care, and "accidentally" shove Mom off a cliff.
I do firmly believe is some cases there should be a way to clear this. It is really stupid to keep hounding this man in particular.
There was a registered sex offender in my neighborhood a few years back and at first we were pretty freaked out. But in my state, you can research the case documents online and it turned out he had consensual sex as a 19-year-old with his step-sister, who was 16/17 and the girl's father was very pissed off and he pressed the charges. In a case like that, neighborhood children aren't really at risk.
And then, there was the case of a former teacher who was registered as a sex offender for some extra-curricular activities with a student. She was helping out in her kids' classrooms at school and that really freaked some people out... 1) The school didn't check. 2) She was a former teacher and she confessed and apologized in court so I take it to mean she was guilty. That is inappropriate in my view because she was a teacher.
whaaaat! fuck that. exception is needed here. -_-
In my state the girl could have spoken up and said that it was consentual and he would not have been found guilty especially since he married her. I do not think that his name should be on any sex offender list. I think that should be saved for those who really do commit a crime.
@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - Agreed. This is such a sad story.
That is to bad.
Situations like these make me angry beyond belief. The abuse of the legal system should be fixed. It's just so unfair when people can just charge anyone for rape when there was consent. Noone deserves to be shunned and deemed scum for the rest of their life because of consensual sex. Teenagers shouldn't be given special treatment if they consented. Adults really know how to ruin lives through the legal system.
I feel like there's more to this story that's missing. There' too many problems for it to play out that way.
how is he an exception? He got seven years probation, which is pretty light and reflective of the nature of his crime. That's not an exception. Is his case different from a non-consensual case? Well, duh. That's why we specify that she "consented." I agree he's "not as bad" although I don't agree with the premises you have set up as necessarily backing this. Marriage does not suddenly make things okay- there have been so, so many instances of victims marrying their abusers, especially when it concerns young victims. They are confused, vulnerable, and easily trust people who say that they love them (especially if they feel like no one else does).
I think the title of this post is deliberately misleading. He's not an alleged rapist; that is a word used before someone goes to court. After they have gone through court and have been found guilty, they are no longer considered "alleged." The title also seems to imply that the daughters are a result of the rape of the victim, which also seems to not be true.
the laws concerning consent? Should probably change, especially for cases like this. However, the law in our country should err towards protecting the vulnerable, rather than the perpetrators. It is definitely tough and unfair right now but to the same extent, he knew what the law was, and he knew the potential consequences. There were no surprises here. It's good that it turned out well for them overall but you have to consider that they have to pick some age for the age of consent, and it's based on how much your body/brain has formed. They can't just go, "Well, we can see it was real love, regardless of the fact that you were 13 and 20." A line has to legally be drawn. If we were to restructure child consent to greatly benefit the older partner, this could lead to a lot of situations that do not turn out as happily as this one has. The laws needs to protect our most vulnerable members of society...even if it sometimes ensnares those who walk the periphery.
"In actuality, Frank is clearly not a bad man. He married this woman."
I think in cases like this we have to be careful of using this type of language. Yes, he married her. That does not necessarily mean he is a "good man." Would he necessarily have been a bad man if he hadn't married her? Or if she hadn't wanted to marry him, given that most high school romances don't last?
There is more to being a "good man" than just "not being a child rapist." I don't mean to nitpick but if you actually look at any case regarding men who have been accused but not found guilty of rape/have been found guilty of statutory, everyone defending them will write about their supposed goodness without having any idea what they're like as a person, other than that they don't appear to have a rapist mentality. Personally I think highly enough of men to assume that it takes more than just not raping someone, to make them good people.
YES I AM NITPICKING BECAUSE I'M TIRED AND CONSTANTLY IRRITATED BY DATINGISH PIECES BUT FEEL COMPELLED TO COMMENT ANYWAYS.