Thursday, 04 August 2011
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Self Help Books, Magazine Articles & Anything Else We Use to Find Love
Would you ever find a man reading a self help book about how to land himself a new girlfriend or even a date? Most of the time, no you wouldn't. It just doesn't happen and you know what? They never seem to have trouble. As women we put a pressure on ourselves to find someone and be with a person so we don't remain alone.We tend to talk to fill the gaps of silence in conversation to avoid awkwardness and we view other women who are a part of a couple as lucky. We think the grass is greener on the other side and most of the time, we just have no clue.
I know I'm making these assumptions and obviously not every woman or man fits into this generalization that I make but it just so happens that I fit this generalization. I'm single and I've been that way for a while now. At first it was because I wanted to be on my own, work on myself, learn independence.
Then it became more of a "Woohoo! I'm single and ready to mingle!" I was excited to go out and meet new people and just socialize without the nagging reminder that I couldn't flirt, couldn't look and couldn't fantasize about being with other people. I was free. But now I'm ready for love. I miss it and I miss having someone who cares whether or not I make it home okay besides my parents.
Even so, that doesn't mean I'm about to find it once I walk out the door or by smiling at a stranger I find mildly attractive. Love just happens, it could start as a friendship and build into something you never thought could be or it could hit you like a train on the tracks (You know the way that Florence + The Machine gets hit by happiness in her song Dog Days Are Over).
Anyway, in general, you will never find what you are looking for when you are looking for it. So put down your book, your latest issue of Cosmo, and your laptop and just live your life, for you. Work on yourself, enjoy your hobbies, your goals and friends and one day you will be shocked to find love is right under your nose.
Anyone know a good book to read so I can stop reading novels about girls who fall in love?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (8)
I didn't find love until I "went looking for it." There's a difference between setting who you are aside aside while devoting your whole life to looking for someone and making an effort to get out and meet people/date/etc. It's a moderation/type of approach thing, I think.
on the topic of books, have you read the golden compass, the subtle knife and the amber spyglass? they are an absolutely enchanting trilogy by philip pullman.
I do think love comes to you when you least expect it, but just the same, it can leave you when you don't expect it either.
read the Harry Potter series =] bahaha
Im in at like my freedom/single ready to mingle phase. Not really yearning for love but I do know your better of letting it happen on it's own. I feel like when you seek out love it only lands you into trouble.
You'd be surprised, a ton of guys read up on pick-up artist material and go to "dating guru" lectures.
David DeAngelo is really popular in this regard.
@AsylumBlue - @Chibi_Son_Gokou@xanga - Yeah I find this really presumptuous in that respect. Plenty of guys read books on self help and dating, perhaps we're just better at or more keen to hide the fact that we need help and these books.
I'm slightly confused though, you say "So put down your book..." and then ask if people know of any good books to read. Yes I'm being nit picky :P.
To actually answer the question, a good self help book would be Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Susan Jeffers. Other general suggestions would be The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, or The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch.
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