Monday, 01 August 2011
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Things You Should Not Say In Bed
Without sharing too much information, I think I should enlighten something to silly, romantic men who have difficulty weeding out things that you should never say while trying to get "busy" with your significant other.
For instance, please acknowledge that when your SO shouts: "stop tickling me, I'm not laughing because I like it, it's involuntary!" That means, "Stop tickling me you SOB!" I really don't react to being tickled with laughter because I enjoy that--it always almost puts me in a panic because I lose all control of my senses and I feel powerless against it.
It's always met with me shouting, twisting, and possibly defending my sensitive spots with my limbs, striking where ever I could. I think I kicked him off the bed once when he tried to tickle my knees and feet. And seeing how I'm ticklish almost everywhere, him knowing that I am ticklish does not absolve the fact that he still believes I'm laughing because I enjoy being tickled. *sigh*
In the midst of that... the squirming, twisting, kicking and yes, giggling... Suddenly, he brings his face really close and kisses my nose.
He whispers gently, which pretty much makes me cease in the thrashing action, "do you think if I kept tickling you, you might have a sneezy-poop?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Whatever "mood" he might have accomplished with the tickling and semi-pissed off participant (me), he had a hell of a chance in comparison of "getting some" BEFORE he said that. I say this because I giggled at that phrase for about 2 minutes straight, and he inevitably joined in.
Laughter is contagious and when you have me giggling and repeating "sneezy-poop," he realized how ridiculous and silly he sounded. Then he tried to wipe the slate clean by not laughing anymore and getting close and personal, but I couldn't help but break his "accomplishing sexy mood" but whispering: "sneezy poop" which inevitably made us giggle again like a pair of two year olds all over again.
There are some things you should NEVER say during or midst of getting "busy." I think sneezy-poop just made it to the top 3 things NEVER to utter in bed. I don't mean "too much sex resulting in queefing" because that should be just laughed at for a moment and move on. It's what happens when you put so much work into that area and it does what it does! Release of air down there is not as gross as farting; at least there's no smell accompanying the sound, does it? But yeah, that topped the cake.
Somehow, even with the giggles that his "sneezy-poop" has set upon us, we still reached our ultimate goal. He was very proud of himself actually... I think last time I said something mood-crashing as sneezy-poop was "you saw your grandma's saggy boobies?" from an earlier conversation that just popped into my head when we were JUST about to do it. That killed it for him... altogether 5 seconds because we kept giggling. I swear, despite our actually age, we're secretly controlled by 2 year olds, plotting world domination!
Have you ever said something totally random and silly that made you and your SO laugh, enough to stop you from "getting busy?" Or are you guys just very serious when it comes to sexual/sensual matters?
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About the Author
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- From: kor_girl@xanga
- About Me: Tall, loud, obnoxious, contradictory, observant, opinionated, social, a little shy and quite the Korean-Canadian hybrid...whatever that means?
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Comments (22)
this reminded me of the obnoxious boy from middle school, who kept bugging me and poking me with his finger, so it messed up whatever I was about to write on my assignment, and I had to erase the error. I repeatedly told him to stop but he loved how annoyed I was, so he kept bugging me, so I gathered the eraser shreds and dumped it on his paper, then he blew the eraser shreds towards my desk to his left
as annoying as he was, it was semi-fun, because when he was absent from class one day, I missed him
I think he liked me, but I had a crush on the cute mexican boy from across the room
lol anyway I don't recall any current silly moments, because when I tell him to stop, he often just stops.
HAHAHAHA squeezy-poop. thats funny :)
O_o Sneezy poop? I imagine a bazooka-like turd.
I laughed, that ended things pretty quick.
hahaha sneezy poop!!
I am over thinking the possibility of sneezy poop. How does poop sneeze?
That's super cool that you guys can at least laugh together! I expected this post to be all "and he said that and I was SO turned off and I just spent the rest of the evening sexually frustrated and he couldn't understand why I was mad."
Props to you!
Well I don't know if I'd call it funny...but there was one incident where I just stopped everything after the woman randomly blurted out "If I get pregnant I'm keeping it" right as we were about to start.
In hindsight though it's a funny story to tell.
My boyfriend manages to say something ridiculous and hilarious about half of the time when we're having sex. I actually like it. His silliness and spontaneity are huge turn-ons for me.
ummm i think when a couple first starts getting it on, it's all business.... but as they had time to grow on each other it get's "funny". when i wanna get busy i wanna get busy, nothin funny bout that
I have literally been laughing the last 10 minutes. I'm pretty sure you just cursed me. The next time I'm about to get it on, the word "sneezy-poop" is going to pop in my head and I'm going to start cracking up. Sneezy-poop...
i literally laughed out loud reading this. (: i forget what was said but me and my SO we're attempting to have sex and i just started cracking up about something that had happened earlier in the day & he started laughing because i was... it killed the mood for about 10 minutes but then we got down to business. i don't think sex should always be so serious because then it loses its fun.
@sugar_mama@xanga - completely agree with you.
i laughed so hard when i read "sneezy poop", and i am terrified the next time my boyfriend tugs my skirt off all i will think is "sneezy poop" and start laughing. thanks!
Haha!
Let's see... my husband and I were extremely, extremely tired... and I talked about pretzels... I have no idea why the word "pretzel" hit such a funny bone, but we laughed for what seemed like forever. Those good laughing fits where the world turns just right, your eyes water uncontrollably, sides ache, and your face feels stiff from smiling too much.
We're totally lame.
@Aiamerran@xanga - That's not lame, it's really cute!
I feel like my boyfriend and I have gotten so silly as the years pass on. I always have to make some inappropriate (but hilarious) comment and he laughs and says WTF?! but then plays along. It's really fun :) and getting down still happens ;)
@dangelb - Aw, thankie! ^-^
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - his rendition of explaing "sneezy-poop" is not to imply that poop can sneeze, but if one happens to sneeze very violently, it may lead to pooping at the same time.
Don't ask me where he saw that in action, probably a very obnoxious movie, but it's definitely giggle worthy. haha
@kor_girl@xanga - Hopefully he doesn't know about it from personal experience.
EVERY TIME we have sex, my fiance burps at some point. I don't really understand why. But we just laugh it off.
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my boyfriend recently decided to act like a cat mid-action.. meowing and purring and licking me like he was a cat.. it was pretty entertaining