Monday, 01 August 2011
-
Tips On How to Get Over a Break-Up
This following article is for those who got broken up with and are seriously grieving.They loved you. They cared about you and probably still do, but not in the same way. The thing is, people move on. The only thing you can do is let them. They, unfortunately, don't want to be with you anymore.
Take time to understand that, and do not ask questions. Just accept it. It’s the truth, it’s a fact, this is what you’re dealing with right now. It’s harsh, but how else can this be looked at? There’s no way you’re going to reverse this. You cannot control their thinking and that is that.
People get broken up with all the time. Do you know you’re not the only one hurting? You’re not the only one who’s been heartbroken? Do you know that it could be SO much worse than it is? It's possible; think about it.
You have a lot of learning to do, and every break up is a lesson. You can learn from everything but don't repel. You have to accept that it won’t happen, and since it won’t, you need to take control of yourself.
Now that you understand that, you have to try to move on. You can’t all in one day, it’s GOING to take time, whether you like it or not. But the thing is: you have to WANT to move on to actually be able to.
To move on, I HIGHLY recommend you focus on this stuff:
• Writing of any sort. It’s a great way to let out negative energy and release your anger. Even though you’re upset, you may end up writing something really amazing. The best things come from strong emotion.
• Friends. They are AMAZING, and personally, I don’t know how I would’ve survived my last break up without them. It was simple little things I did with them even when I didn’t want to. I occupied myself with talking to someone all the time. Texting, IMing, video chatting, hanging out. There were points when I couldn’t be alone because I was afraid I’d get too upset. But eventually... I began missing him less and less, and that’ll happen for you too, believe it or not.
• Laugh. I never wanted to laugh or smile, but I thought of the quote, “Nobody cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” My unhappiness and attitude brought down my friends and made them want to stop hanging out with me. I turned it all around in a day and tried my best to be happy. Laughing and smiling wasn’t easy to do when I was being torn apart inside, but after forcing it for a little, I was actually truly happy soon after.
• School/Work. I know this isn’t the most exciting thing or anything but you really should focus on it a lot more. During my junior year, I made a resolution not to have a boyfriend because I wanted to focus on my grades. Without any guys, I got ALL A’s and B’s. I was SO happy with my grades and turning in everything on time. School was not any more fun… but it definitely pays off feeling successful when you put time in.If you do all this, moving on will be a lot easier. Of course there are a lot of things that you’re not used to, but you’re going to have to get used to it. I’m the type of girl who loves being in relationships, but when I get over the break up, I find out that being single and being by myself is so great as well.
You should hide all the ex stuff in a closet or ask someone to hide it for you. Put it all in a bag or a box and just HIDE it. Notes, presents, jewelry, everything. If you go to school with this person (or work)… AVOID seeing them. Take different routes. You know you can do that, so do it. Delete them from your contacts list on your phone. Hide them from your Facebook news feed, or even delete them as a friend for a little while to resist temptation on checking their page.
Change is good: rearrange your room, get a manicure, get new clothes, do something different with your hair, change little things like the desktop of your computer. It’s little things that make a person feel refreshed after they’re used to seeing the same things every day.
I know you don’t want to, but since they're not going back with you, what other choice do you have?
So if it’s over, you have two choices: mourn or move on. But you have to *WANT* to, otherwise you won’t be able to.
What do you all think? Any other tips?
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: xjordano0x@xanga
- About Me: I'm 17 & I like to have fun.. although that fun usually consists of sitting on xanga or tumblr for the night.
-
True
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1763 Comments: 0 9 View all posts by xjordano0x@xanga
Comments (12)
nice list! Working out helped me too =D
Getting over certain people is impossible for me. I'd need my memory wiped, and that would just be worse.
Great advice, very thorough.
That's great advice, i fear that i may have to use it in the near future.
Tell me, if any of you saw where your SO was writing this a text message to another person, whilst they were drunk, would you leave them? Even if you've been together for over a year?
What if this was the text?:
SO : hey
SO: wow you doing
SO : idk if your sleeping but we sould do something awesome when we hang out again
SO : like something booty calllike
SO : i mean i know i worked for you but but are awesome and if we did stuff like folled around that would be awesome too
SO : im really wasted right now so dont take this as an attempt to win you over but you are awesome and if we did stuff together it would be awesome
SO: and i really think me and you could hit it off at least for a little while
SO : im not trying to be creepy but like i said your cool and ive got nothing going on so if you want we can fool around and and ill can buy you dinner some time
There has been no response from the other party as of now.
@ChelseyBabe23@xanga - Duh dump them. Who cares how long you've been together? Irrelevant.
"it's called a break up because it's broken", that really helped me out after my first breakup, now I just learn to deal with it, obviously you two weren't right for eachother and you are both off to bigger and better things.
Being single isn't all that bad, but the initial shock of it can be overbearing.
@ChelseyBabe23@xanga - Dump him. That was crossing the line, even if he was drunk. You'd have trust issues with this person, and he broke your trust. You can try smashing it in his face and yell at him and bitch him out for it, but I'm not sure any of that will help reverse what has been done.
As for the breakup list, that was good. Although I'm all fine and dandy, I think I need to *WANT* to move on. I mean, I want to, and I'm trying, but then again, I love her, or so I think I still love her.
breaking up isn't always breaking up. Sometimes it's just an overly drawn out series of anger the stubbornness from both parties. Those times where you can't help but feel like each of you aren't trying or you're both trying too hard. Turns into a hell of a balancing act. It's easy to ruin everything over something petty.
good advice for getting dumped though.
Nike Dunk SB Shoes
Nike air Yeezy shoes
Nike air max shoes
Nike Air Shox shoes
Nike soccer shoes
Nike air force one shoes
Cole haan Fashion
Gucci sneakers
Prada shoes
Supra shoes
RADII Footwear
Louis Vuitton shoes
Christian Louboutin shoes
Awesome advice!!!!!!!!!!
Zoexx
i found that during the beginning, when it really hurt and i literally thought my world was going to cave in, it was a lot easier to get through once i stopped being sad and got angry. i think a good tips is the knowledge of the different stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. gathering information on these stages can help you better understand the nature of your feelings, ask yourself questions about the feelings, about where they are on the timeline of grief. this can help us better describe our feelings, which i find useful when i'm trying to get something off my chest, talking to a friend or therapist.
i find that when i'm dumped (it's only really happened once, and it was my last relationship.) it is so life shattering because i ended up making the person my everything. i happen to have bpd so my relationships are turbulent as is, but i practically idolized him, i was really codependent. in time, i was able to dial back the perspective and realize that he did me a favor by forcing me to focus on myself and fix my instabilities. it is possible to turn a really bad breakup into an empowering experience. our minds are so much more powerful than we give them credit for and also affect the coloring of our lives completely."How happy is the blameless vestal's lot?
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;"
sorry, had to :P