Sunday, 31 July 2011
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The Summer Fling: Why End It?
Recently, I read a blog post about summer flings and why they sometimes have to end. The writer seemed upset that her fling was likely to end, but at the same time, it also seemed like she was the one unwilling to continue seeing the guy. She asked some questions regarding the flings and why some end, why some don't, and even whether or not it's even possible to extend a summer fling through the fall.Okay, this, to me, is a little ridiculous. The stars don't need to be aligned in order to continue dating post-summer fling. It doesn't just happen and it isn't about having a stroke of luck. As always, relationships take work. If you want your fling to become a serious relationship, you have to work at it.
My story with my SO isn't exactly a romantic epic and it isn't "Casablanca" (nor am I Humphrey Bogart), but our story fits in line with the questions that have arisen regarding summer flings. We met when we were little kids because we went to the same sleep-away camp, but we didn't start talking until 2008 when we were both staff members at camp. After a year of courting, we found ourselves still not dating (but dealing with some very serious feelings) and back at camp, again. This time, it was the summer before I left for college 3 hours away from New York (I'm a year older).
We started dating and quickly realized that it was far more than a summer fling. So, we had no choice but to discuss what lay ahead. After only dating for a few months, we had two choices: commit fully in a long-distance relationship or break it off-- the latter being something we definitely didn't want. So, we tried it and we gave it everything we could. I drove home a lot, we made time to talk every day, and we made it. It was hard, but it was worth it.
Now, we've survived another year of long-distance as we are both at different colleges, but this time it's only an hour and change worth of a drive.
Summer flings can become serious relationships, if that's what you're after. If it's not what you want, then you need to set this straight with your fling. It's important to remember, however, that you're in control of your relationship's fate. If you and your fling want to become a serious couple, be like Nike: "Just do it."
Have you ever had a summer fling? Has it become something more? Have you broken it off with a fling at the end of the summer?
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About the Author
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- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 21. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
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Comments (7)
i have a good story regarding summer flings. when if first met my fiancee he was home from college for the summer... after we met we spent every day together and we both grew strong feelings.. at the end of the summer he had to go back to college two hours away and i was stuck back home in our town.. we talked for a little while online and texted some but eventually i found another guy.... it was then that we both figured what we had was just a summer fling and tried to move on. well eventually me and him started talking again and i went to his college a few times and stayed with him.. eventually all of those feelings came back. but once again we stopped talking and grew apart... finally the next summer came and i was at a party with my friends when he showed up.. we spent the whole night talking and laughing together. eventually that summer we began becoming close again like we did the summer before and finally started dating... after four years we are engaged. so yes, i believe that if you want something to be more then a summer fling you need to work at it and never give up.
My current girlfriend was somewhat of a "summer fling", We met just before school got out, by chance, through a mutual friend. We've known each other for almost three months, and have been together for one. Things are going well even though currently we are *kind of* long distance and attending separate colleges in three weeks (her) and four weeks (me)
By the way, I love reading your posts. You're so straight forward, and have a lot of interesting points to bring to the table.
I haven't had any summer flings or other seasons. I can't just casually be with someone and then casually dump them. when I like someone, I really like him and I tend to invest or give my all in a relationship. flings aren't for me.
my first summer fling kinda shaped the person that I am today. I'm glad that I met him, but glad that it ended.
i had a summer fling with this guy i had known for a while but randomly started talking to at a graduation party. this led to us texting & hanging out. we got to the point where we were literally hanging out atleast 4-5 times a week. he'd always drive wherever we went. i'd go to his house and join his family for dinner and cuddle in his room. he even took me out to a chick flick of my choice. (: everything seemed like we should have been dating but we weren't. our "fling" continued on until the end of August & then he was drunk one night and got pissed off at me for something i didn't do. he called me some pretty mean things and i cut off all communications with him. it was one hell of a summer though. about a couple months ago we caught up & started talking again but have yet to hangout.. i have a boyfriend now. maybe he should have thought about dating me a year ago?
i have and it's def fun but it was just a summer fling, nothing serious. but you choose to make it serious and lasting if you want to.
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