Sunday, 31 July 2011
Recently, I read a blog post about summer flings and why they sometimes have to end. The writer seemed upset that her fling was likely to end, but at the same time, it also seemed like she was the one unwilling to continue seeing the guy. She asked some questions regarding the flings and why some end, why some don't, and even whether or not it's even possible to extend a summer fling through the fall.
Okay, this, to me, is a little ridiculous. The stars don't need to be aligned in order to continue dating post-summer fling. It doesn't just happen and it isn't about having a stroke of luck. As always, relationships take work. If you want your fling to become a serious relationship, you have to work at it.
My story with my SO isn't exactly a romantic epic and it isn't "Casablanca" (nor am I Humphrey Bogart), but our story fits in line with the questions that have arisen regarding summer flings. We met when we were little kids because we went to the same sleep-away camp, but we didn't start talking until 2008 when we were both staff members at camp. After a year of courting, we found ourselves still not dating (but dealing with some very serious feelings) and back at camp, again. This time, it was the summer before I left for college 3 hours away from New York (I'm a year older).
We started dating and quickly realized that it was far more than a summer fling. So, we had no choice but to discuss what lay ahead. After only dating for a few months, we had two choices: commit fully in a long-distance relationship or break it off-- the latter being something we definitely didn't want. So, we tried it and we gave it everything we could. I drove home a lot, we made time to talk every day, and we made it. It was hard, but it was worth it.
Now, we've survived another year of long-distance as we are both at different colleges, but this time it's only an hour and change worth of a drive.
Summer flings can become serious relationships, if that's what you're after. If it's not what you want, then you need to set this straight with your fling. It's important to remember, however, that you're in control of your relationship's fate. If you and your fling want to become a serious couple, be like Nike: "Just do it."
Have you ever had a summer fling? Has it become something more? Have you broken it off with a fling at the end of the summer?