My fiance is not much of a "free info sharing" type. While I tend to rattle off to go on about my day, how bad/good work was, how the weather effected me, how hungry I am, why my eyes are burning after staring at the comp for 8 hrs for two diff. desks...etc. I talk about anything and everything. Sometimes, I even try to hold back some things but eventually, it comes up. I don't lie well and I definitely don't do very well holding back info.

Which is probably why my poker skills are basic and his is expert levels. But he loves that I share everything, anything and whatever random thing that took my attention. He often says I'm like a little hyper squarrel when I point out something that has passed us already or he took too long to look at it: "omg did you see that dog? puppy, it was so cute... holycow, the trench jackets are back in fashion, i need to buy another pair of sandals, hey, should we make an appt with a photographer for the wedding or...?" and this can go on for a while. At times, it's frustrating that he doesn't do what "I do" but most of the time, I'm just glad he has the patience to comb through everything I say and laugh whole heartedly, while I reac to every single thing he says with elevated emotion. That's just me.

If you can't share everything and he's okay with that, it's okay. If you used to share everything but in fear of becoming vulnerable, you try to curve what you share, your SO will notice the difference and wonder why. When it comes to light that you're afraid of becoming vulnerable and loss of power (that's really what it is), your so might not appreciate how you accept his "open vulnerability" but shield away from your own. That's not good.

I'm sorry but I don't think you're in love with someone if you can't share everything.  I understand vulnerability and being afraid.  But deep down, you know what a SO needs to know about you and what isn't important.  I don't think this is dependence at all, it's a sharing of information.  Dependence is more being unable to do something/make a decision without the other person. 

Do couples need to share every single, little detail?  No.  But usually a person knows what they need to share.  Good luck!

Not everything needs to be community, just most things. If my guy wanted to borrow a book, for example, he would have to prove himself. I take good care of my books and he doesn't always take good care of his stuff. I think it's understandable if I get grabby about stuff I really care about.

This idea that all or nothing, what's mine is yours is pretty ick. What's so bad about some personal identity amongst the unity?

I don't think expiration dating is a good idea... (just an aside)

Just make sure you both have lives outside of the relationship, because that keeps things interesting. I don't think you have to share everything, especially not all once. But at the same time, if you're always wondering how and when this person will break your heart, you won't be able to enjoy the relationship much. Enjoy it for all it's worth for however long it lasts, but make sure you keep balance in your life by staying involved with your friends and having interests that don't all revolve around your SO.

@written_conversations@xanga - Okay. If it's such nonsense then quantify love and tell me how much sense it makes that way. While you're at it, tell your current or future boyfriend (or perhaps girlfriend) exactly how much you love them, and what they can buy/do for you that would make you love them more and what they might do that will make you love them less. You see, it's either real love, or it's an attempt to gain something from them. If you cannot tell the difference between loving someone (100%) and the instinctual tendency to use them to gain something in exchange for your affection you might as well just say "I like you, for now".

You're either in it 100% or you're just waiting for the next best thing. I'm not saying it's better or worse either way, just that it would be to your advantage knowing it's not really love if you're not willing to share absolutely everything.

@written_conversations@xanga - Also bear in mind: If love ≠ all or nothing, then no matter how much you love your SO, you should always be able to tell exactly how much you don't love them as well, which makes even less sense than "all-or-nothing" seeing as "to" and "not to" are mutually exclusive when referring to whether something is or isn't a property, including love...

"Do you love me?"
"Not as much as I don't."

^ That's a no.

"Do you love me?"
"More than I don't, but not as much as I possibly could."

 ^ That is also a no.

Love = All-or-nothing.
That is all.