Friday, 29 July 2011
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How Do You Deal With a Boyfriend Stealer
We all know the feeling - you are in a happy relationship that you can't imagine leaving and suddenly, reality hits you, someone else would love to be in your relationship too. In my opinion, there will always be someone who likes your significant other and would gladly fill your shoes.
Whether they make a move or not, the thought that someone wants your boyfriend is never a pleasant one. When I'm with my boyfriend we're in our own little world, no one else seems to exist. But the second a boyfriend-stealer comes into the picture, my bubble is burst for a small moment in time.
Usually I'm able to bounce back in no time, knowing my boyfriend got a simple text message or call from one of these awful women doesn't upset me too much. However, sometimes I'm thrust into a unique situation of having to spend an entire party with one them.
Suddenly, I'm wondering how I should act, should I act like I have no idea she likes him and be nice or should I give her the cold shoulder? I don't want to come off as unpleasant in front of other people but I also don't want to make the boyfriend-stealer think I'm not on to her. Generally, I end up somewhere in between.
I always have to remind myself that these women are not actually a threat to any of us. It takes two people to cheat, two very willing people. No one can every really 'steal' a boyfriend. I have found that the best reaction to have to these women is to feel bad for them. These are women who have so little in their life that they feel the need to try and take your boyfriend.
All we can do in these situations is be grateful for what we have and trust in our significant other.
Have you ever had to deal with someone trying to steal your boyfriend? What do you do in order to stand your ground and show this person that you are here to stay?
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- From: thesecondlizomnibus@xanga
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Comments (38)
If someone is trying to steal your significant other, smack that mofo!
No one can steal your boyfriend unless he allows himself to be stolen.
Make them feel very, very infinitesimally small. I would take the social humiliation route personally. I know threatening ways of belittling someone.
If someone is trying, let them. if it was meant to be, they won't care for them.obviously i would express my distaste of the scenario, but thats about it.
I don't deal with them. if my boyfriend can be stolen, then he's not faithful to begin with. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway.
When my ex left me for someone else (who had a lot of mutual friends with me), I told everyone she did me a favor because that cheating bastard is now her problem, not mine.
A lot of our friends view my boyfriend and I to be 'made for each other', so if I were in this situation I'd have no problem mentioning to her face that that she's a classless cunt, but that's just me.
No one can steal your SO; the SO left with another person while with you because s/he was a coward and could not break up with you on legit reasons before this "mis-guided moment" sprang up and gave the s/he an easy way out.
If my SO lets me, I make sure the deal with the girl myself. And trust me, I know how to make someone feel like shit and how to humiliate them.
If my SO asks me to keep out of it I just make sure to tell me friends so they can keep an eye on the situation and back me up if anything.
I like how this post went:) Especially this part:
I always have to remind myself that these women are not actually a threat to any of us. It takes two people to cheat, two very willing people. No one can every really 'steal' a boyfriend.
I took the same route with my ex...the having to remind myself part. And he did kind of get 'stolen' but then, yes it takes two to tango. Though I wouldn't mind tripping them up....lol. Those kinds of people deserve eachother, we are better off without them! and it leaves room for the rest of us to meet eachother instead:P
If you are confident/trusting in the relationship, you don't need to do anything at all. Nobody can be "stolen" unless they want to be. Just keep your dignity, trust your SO, and let the other person fade away.
You can't 'steal' someone, they have to be willing to leave.
No one can steal your boyfriend. I would treat her nicely and respectfully. Maybe she has real, honest feelings for the taken boyfriend. If she does, I'd feel really bad for her. I'd be nice. I might acknowledge her feelings and apologize. I'd want her to feel good about herself because that's a horrible position to be in.
Any misgivings/misdoings would have to be on the part of my boyfriend and how he reacted to anything she did. Frankly, if he just straight up ignored her, I would think less of him. But if he seemed smitten by her affections, I'd be pissed.
I'd be laughing at my bf and her if he cheated on me with her. most of the guys that decided to give up what we had for another woman regretted it, whether he cheated or just broke up with me to date other woman...wanted a second chance after he realized that I'm better than her. I used to be mad but in retrospect, I'd have to thank him for doing me a favor because if I didn't breakup with him, then I would not have met my current bf, who is significantly better in every way than him.
It isn't stealing. It's not like the guy didn't have a choice. It takes two willing participants, so this should be titled, How Do You Deal with Cheating Assholes?
I think if a woman is interested in your man then you should make sure he is aware of it, and if he is a good guy he will tell her he is quite obviously taken and not interested in the slightest. At least that will put you at ease and she will back off. Its so irritating and repulsive when girls hit on somebody who is already taken, they need to be put in their place by the guy they're trying to steal in order for it to really sink in.
I think you should speak up, it doesn't reflect negatively on you if you confront someone who's doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
As for me, I have been through the same situation. I'm disgusted that another woman lust for a lifestyle upgrade was worth the devastation of my relationship.
Lol, that happened with my last boyfriend who's now my ex. She straight out told me that she'd do anything in her power to get him and he knew it too. I tried being her friend but eh it didn't work out. I broke up with him and she got over him. We're friends now actually. We hate him. XD
BUT, If someone were to try and steal my boyfriend. I'm not gonna be nice. Remind her that he's MINE with my affection and snide remarks. ( = o = )*
it is all fine and dandy that my SO can't be stolen from me but i feel that if someone knows my SO is taken and tries despite this, they are showing me a huge deal of disrespect - i don't tolerate that shit for a second. luckily though, my SO will let persistant persuers know just what asses they are making out of themselves so that i don't have to go out of my way to do it.
Yeah yeah someone can't be stolen they have to be willing, but what about the people who pop up and try to steal your SO and your SO doesn't like them and this person just irritates the shit out of both of you? Now thats a pain lol
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Your answer is a little too nice for me :S so you'd be kind to a skank? You're saying MAYBE she has real honest feelings for your bf, but what if she doesn't? Many people out there would take your being friendly for granted..
@lforletty@xanga - If my bf could be won over by a skank, she can gladly have him. I won't be mean to her. She can try as hard as she'd like, the bottom line it would be how my boyfriend responded that mattered. I've known plenty, plenty of skanky girls. Some are mean and some are insecure. Either way, if that's the type of girl my bf could appreciate, I don't want to be his girlfriend.
The only situation i've had was when i first started dating my boyfriend and his ex contacted him. I don't know exactly what she said but apparently she'd seen online that we were together and was upset. I never really felt threatened by her, i just felt bad for her. She wasn't over the break-up. It's hard seeing the one you love with someone else.
But anyways, i feel like if some girl can come along and steal your guy then he probably didn't want to be with you anymore and was going to break up eventually.
If you trust your boyfriend (or girlfriend, for that matter) you shouldn't have to seriously worry about them being whisked away by someone.
(also, i feel like there's a difference between a girl who just has feelings for a guy in a relationship and a girl who actually makes a move knowing full and well that the guy is taken. one is understandable and the other could be considered "skanky" or just immature and disrespectful.)
"I always have to remind myself that these women are not actually a threat to any of us.It takes two people to cheat, two very willing people. No one can every really 'steal' a boyfriend. I have found that the best reaction to have to these women is to feel bad for them. These are women who have so little in their life that they feel the need to try and take your boyfriend."
Well said, my friend. Well said.