Thursday, 28 July 2011
There comes a point in certain times of your life where “you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.” I think being inexperienced with sex can sometimes be one of those times. I was raised in a sheltered home, with a conservative, religious and strict Latina mother who gave me a curfew to be home at 9PM and to be in bed no later 10PM. It was as suffocating as it sounds.
Needless to say, all throughout high school, I was very much a prude. Not to say that it was necessarily a bad thing, but it did mean that I was the last one out of all my friends to have my first kiss, to lose my virginity, and the last one to meet my first love. Now I know it’s not a race to accomplish doing all these things before the rest of your friends, but being inexperienced sometimes made it hard for me to relate to my friends since I had no idea what it was like to be going through what they were going through.
In today’s society, a girl gets talked about for one of two reasons, either 1) She’s a slut, meaning that she is sexually active and promiscuous meaning that she has a lot of experience. Or 2) She’s a prude meaning she is very homely and conservative meaning she is very inexperienced. Again, I repeat, “Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.”
It’s hard for a girl to fit within the medium that society declares acceptable.
As a teenager, I felt very insecure about my lack of experience. It was awkward when you got to the “never have I evers” during a game of Kings. It was uncomfortable when everyone had a sex story to tell, and all I could do to contribute to the conversation is be a good listener. Even though I’m no longer that inexperienced girl I used to be, looking back embarrasses me a little still today. As I get older, I feel more and more indifferent about the stigma of having been the girl to do everything last.
I feel like it was so long ago and in many ways I don’t even recognize the teenage girl I used to be.
Being inexperienced can have its awkward moments, but I realize now that "awkward" is just a part of life, and it’s about growth you make once you gain experience not the experience itself that matters.
Do you think being inexperienced is a good or bad thing?
Do you ever feel haunted by the thought of who you used to be?