Thursday, 28 July 2011
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Guys Just Don't Like Rejection
The question I hear all the time coming from my friends' lips as well as my own is, "Why won't he approach me?" But really, I see girls surrounded by several guys in bars and I see them exchanging numbers and I know I look good and I'm smiling so what's the problem?I'll tell you what the problem is, guys just don't like rejection and therefore avoid it at all costs. So unless you have been friends with this particular guy and he had an excuse to get your number, most guys don't have the balls to put themselves out there and risk embarrassment. So they don't.
My advice to the girls is to approach someone if you like them and don't think too much into it if they don't come up to you at first. It's not like you're asking them to marry you and changing up all of society's norms. For the guys, please just do us all a favor and take a risk. It's getting very frustrating to see you stare at us smile and then walk the other way.
What advice do you have for guys who can't take rejection? Should girls do all the approaching?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (31)
right, because clearly girls love rejection. i think girls with this opinion need to do this a few times themselves before judging the other 50% of the human race--or alternatively, appreciate that it takes effort (and depending on how shy the guy is, a certain amount of balls too).
i actually prefer to approach girls i don't know. why? because any repercussions are completely isolated from everyone else i know. if i get rejected on the spot, nobody sees it except for the people present in that scenario. if we hook up a few times and my friends meet her at some point, then things go sour (which they always inevitably do), there are no consequences that my friends have to face. does that make sense?
however, i also acknowledge that i'm significantly more outgoing than almost anyone else i know, so i'm kind of the exception to the rule.
Well we walk the other way because we think you ain't interested. We're just as chicken, if that helps things at all. If she's looking at you and smiling, I would go talk to her or buy her a drink and have it sent to her, if you're in a place where you can do that.
Most men fear rejection especially if they get depressed a lot, and the last thing they need is for some hot chick to make them feel like crap.
There's usually a reason guys fear rejection... maybe because of all the b*tches out there
I think the issues is the bitchy girls. Ive let a guy down in the nicest way possible so he doesn't regret coming up to me. I have seen other girls, even some of my friends, who give him an "are you kidding me" look, or laugh, humiliating him in front of all the other girls. Hell if I was that guy I would never go up to a girl again if I was treated like that...eff those bitches. Know what I mean?
I think people just need to be more sensitive and tactic when rejecting someone. Unfortunately there's allot of assholes out there. We just have to learn how to spot them and avoid...
Actually no one likes rejection or to be proven wrong. I'd say stop playing games and just go for it. The worst the person can do is say no, and even if they do, at least you know sooner rather then ten years later after a million mixed signals back and forth, guessing, flower-picking, and sending messenger friends over to do the asking. Seriously. Life is too short. And if you don't say something first, someone else will. Who's happiness are you going for anyway?
Regardless of gender, I don't know anyone who ever enjoys getting rejected by the person they were trying to buy a drink for or talk to so they can exchange number.
Plus, if your eye is dancing from one guy to another, looking for someone to catch your eye and connect with you, it just looks like you're trying too hard and most of my single buddies have told me that they would rather NOT go for that girl than someone who's looking relaxed. The girl who's LOOKING for a guy to approach them is a girl who's looking for ANY guy to approach them, and they don't want someone who is "desperately" trying to catch a guy's attention any more than being embarassed infront of his buddies when a bitchy girl laughs at them or humiliates them.
I've been rejected pretty humiliatingly twice, so I can see why guys wouldn't pursue a girl after they get rejected like that.
I'm lucky my current boyfriend and I both moved slowly enough to know by the time either of us did make a move, the other person was interested.@kor_girl@xanga - i kind of disagree with this. i prefer to go for girls who "look" like they're there to meet guys, because then i know we're on the same page. (only applies at the bar/club.)
I recently just got rejected by a girl. Yea it sucked but I've been getting myself together after going though that. She told me that she respected me for doing what I did and telling her how I feel (I told her that everytime I'm with her I think to myself that I'm the LUCKIEST guy). You can read my blogs for more info on all that.
Today in super obvious posts:
1) Guys Just Don't Like Rejection
2) Your Fingers Don't Like Burning Pans
3) Sometimes That Guy Just Doesn't Like You
4) Cats Have Fur
@dragon_king@xanga - Dude, DON'T DO THAT! Most girls will think you're a wuss/insecure/needy if you tell them things like that. Remember that for next time.
Whoever thought to use this image with this blog has clearly never seen pulp fiction before. They're not even looking at another woman in this scene!
@PinkLeopards@xanga - Bullshit, Pulp Fiction is my favorite movie of all-time. John Travolta's face is classic; I couldn't pass up the chance. It fits well enough with a dude being annoyed because of rejection! Sure, I could have used a more appropriate picture, but it wouldn't be Pulp Fiction then.
@ScarletMoth@xanga - As for number 4 that's true, unless of course we're talking about the Sphynx breed. :D
I happen to find them endearing.
not just men, women are afraid of rejection too. id be the last person to go up to a guy if i didnt feel he liked me. lol. id be too much of a wuss.
@AsylumBlue - If it was your favorite movie you'd realize how IRRELEVANT this scene is to this topic. It's my favorite movie too and you fucked up.
@PinkLeopards@xanga - No, you're the fuck up for disliking the usage of your favorite movie where it's irrelevant because irrelevancy should never stop classic images from Pulp Fiction. You should've fucking better known better.
@AsylumBlue - I should have "fucking better known better?" Idiot. You've probably never seen the fucking movie. Irrelevant tard is irrelevant.
You should ask Jenn, lol.
http://www.datingish.com/753245362/youre-not-getting-hit-on-because-youre-not-following-my-advice/
If you want a guy to approach you, you have to make lingering eye contact like a million times.
Don't take it personally if you have to make eye contact like 2 or 5 times (it's usually 2 for me, but sometimes I had to make it 3).
Guys need to know you want them to approach you.
Oh how the times have changed...women are out scavenging men at bars for sex and the men are shy and insecure and don't want their feelings hurt.
Walked up to a super hot chick once that I knew from high school, but never spoke with. I introduced myself, said hi, and asked if she was free to come to my talent show. She said she had something to do first, but she'll try and make ti. She ended up not showing up, and now she just says "hi" to me as we walk by each other on campus. Believe me, it took SERIOUS BALLS to have done that.
my current guy approached me first. all the guys that I approached first partially didn't work out because I liked him more than he liked me-however, that was only one reason out of other reasons. I think the guys that I've known, who have liked me and approached me first, tend to cherish me more whereas the other guys tend to take me for granted. I'd like a happy medium of liking one another equally but even if it is just a tad more, someone likes the other person more or feels more invested. I think the reason why he seems to cherish me more if he approaches me first is because he took a chance and put his ego on the line and if it is successful and I return those feelings, then he feels like he metaphorically found a treasure. or that's also how I feel when I approach a guy first and he likes me back and he turns out to be wonderful, I cherish him more, because I rarely approach a guy first, so when I do and I don't get rejected, but welcomed, then it feels that much more amazing.
@PinkLeopards@xanga - For the sake of your credibility, I hope you're joking and know that's a direct quote from the movie.
Nobody likes rejection.
Stop looking for guys who want relationships in bars. Might happen, but the odds aren't great.