Thursday, 28 July 2011
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Forgetting the Ex: Spotless Minds
So, I'm sitting here right now watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and find myself asking the question: If you had the chance to erase that certain ex, that certain mistake, would you do it?On one hand, you want to forget that you ever dated that person. You want to forget all the bad things about the relationship. You want to forget that you ever made that mistake. But, on the other hand, isn't it good that we learn from our mistakes? If we had that person completely erased from our mind, how would we know not to make the same mistake again? How would we know that person wasn't a choice person? And wouldn't you want to remember some times in the relationship where you were possibly the happiest you've ever been?
Maybe we're just human. Maybe that's why God gave us memories, so we can learn not to make that same mistake again. But, some of us do make that mistake again. Some of us purse that same person in hopes of a better relationship. But, thank God some of us are intelligent enough not to do it again.
Thoughts on this?
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- From: jesshinson
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Comments (16)
Interesting. My first GF is definitely a candidate. But then, I learned so much. Decisions Decisions...
I learned a lot of lessons from past relationships, some that I still consider daily; Without them, I wouldn't be at this point in my life. I wouldn't erase the past.
I wish I could erase my boyfriend's ex from his memory... haha
Every experience makes us who we are. Would I erase my memories? No, I would only change the way I've handled situations. And that's what the experience does, ideally, it changes how we handle it the next time. I like this post. Props.
Nope, my two exes were bad experiences but hell did I ever learn from them. So I value the memories for future references.
Part of me really wants to say yes about one particular ex...one that took me years to truly get over...BUT...that'd mean giving up a lot of good memories as well; plus, with her seeming like she was trying to get back with me a couple times, lacking those memories would mean...I wouldn't know better...which would be bad.
Maybe evolution resulted in us developing an ability to remember things, so we can learn not to make the same mistakes again. Booyah. Eh, give God the credit. Why not.
Anyway, no. If something needs to be fixed, fix it. Moving on like nothing happened is the coward's way out. Forget nothing if possible, no matter how painful.
That's one of my favourite movies. And if I had the chance to redo everything, I wouldn't change a thing.
I wish I could erase them.. I dont care if I didnt learn from my mistakes, Im with my bf now and Im happy... I just regret going out with a few different guys
"Those who forget the mistakes of the past are destined to repeat them"
While I'm sure everyone has that one ex they wish they could forget they taught us something. If anything you likely learned a sense of compassion and a capacity for love you never knew existed, which are two things you'll share with someone more deserving of you.
You live, you learn, you move on. Just make everything a lesson and remember that no one is perfect.
All this aside, it is a great movie.
I've had 2 serious relationships: the one I'm in now and one I had in 2008-2009. I wish I could forget that ex sometimes, because he really hurt me at that time, but now he's changed, and he's changed EXACTLY like I wanted him to. I wish I didn't know this because as much as I want to be his friend, I'm scared to be near him again, I'm scared that those old feelings would come back. And I could never do that to my current boyfriend. He's my best friend and my world, and I don't want to risk messing things up with him.
But on the other hand, the relationship with that ex really changed me, and to forget that would be to erase a really essential part of myself.
So I don't think I would erase it, but it's tempting sometimes.
omg...i think you just read my mind. i was going through the hardest break up so far in my life last year and i watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and 500 days of summer at least every other day and i seriously wanted to erase everything we did or every memory bc i was hurting but i realized that even if i erased it all, parts of my life was going to be empty and i would never be able to fully live my life if i didn't go through that heartbreak and felt the pain and then learned from what i could have done differently. it's def hard, a part of me still hopes that one day we could see things eye to eye and actually be friends or maybe try it again but if it doesn't happen, i'm still ok either way. i don't think the ex will ever go away and you will always have a place in your heart for him, i do too but we learn to move on and love again.
The guy I just broke things off with. I learned a lesson but it was a lesson I was hoping I never had to learn. Don't date bros, and do not sleep with them even if it's been a month. Don't sleep with any guy until he says and proves he is committed to you and not just having fun. I was forced to call things off and left thinking "wow, dude, we were a really good match..." I rather not know there was a guy I was really compatible with out there when he just wanted to fuck around with me.
I'd definitely take the chance to erase my boyfriends ex.
She interrupted our 3 year streak, and was just a mindless, clingy girl with obvious mental problems. And while she is completely out of our lives now, I have nothing but bad memories when I hear her name. I'd just love to forget she ever existed.
Great movie. I'd rather hope I had been erased from other's minds actually
its challenging this one...I don't know how many more times until I learn from it probably *sigh*