My dad's side of the family are also some of the most progressive, liberal minded thinkers that I have ever met. I am what I like to call the Hippie-Conservative. I am a forward thinking and liberal when it comes to most things,
however I do not want to live to see the degradation of the United States to the United Socialist States. Perhaps that is just me.
My dad's side of the family however, are the kind of people who wish to send every penny they have to charity, run soup kitchens out of their houses, and do pro-bono legal work (in the case of my aunt) purely for the greater good of man kind. I am all for that. I was so proud when a few years ago, all my aunts and uncles came out and marched in a protest with me for the Human Rights Campaign.
You'd think that with that being said, that my current relationship with Miss Lady would not be an issue.
This weekend is the designated weekend for my Granny's 80th birthday, even though her actual birthday was the 16th of May. This weekend was just the most convenient for all of us to trek down to Atlanta, and celebrate together. I initially was not going to be able to go, mostly because my vehicle kind of exploded.
Miss Lady saw my distress about missing the party, and offered to drive me down there, with the baby and we will split gas and food and what not, which is amazing. My family as a whole, have been very excited that I am coming. This will be the first time any of them, including my father, will meet my daughter, and I haven't been able to go to any family function due to work for the upwards of two years.
When I called my aunt last night to see if my uncle was coming I was expecting the same reaction from her that I had received from the rest of my family. Excitement, and a general well-wishing attitude towards Miss Lady. Instead, what I got was,
"What would you say if I told you I think it would be better if you didn't come at all if you have to come with her."
I was completely floored. My aunt is the most liberal person ever, and for her to tell me not to come because of the gender of my SO was completely unreal to me.
She basically told me that I was being selfish for wanting to come even though I had to bring my girlfriend with me to my grandmother's birthday party.
"The party is supposed to be about Granny not about you living your life alternatively with your child." The idea of it not being about my grandmother never even crossed my mind. Of course it would be about her. I had already talked to Miss Lady about the amount of PDA that usually goes on in our house, and the difference that needs to occur when we are with my family.
My grandmother knows she is my girlfriend, and has openly expressed her happiness at my happiness, but still even if I was with a man, I wouldn't be making out in front of my grandmother. My aunt however demanded that I not touch her at all, that I use no terms of endearment or even hold eye contact with her for too long.
It is still 2011 right?
As furious as I was, I managed to just say, "Yes Kiki." and "I understand Kiki." And not rip her fucking throat out with the verbal tirade begging to escape my lips. I love my family enough to put my fury on the back burner, and thank the lord that Miss Lady understands that this behavior is A-typical. I still couldn't believe that I even had this conversation with my aunt.
What would you do if your family demanded that you treat your SO as a friend for the sake of their comfort level?
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Comments (15)
I'd say "To hell with my family, we're going to Olive Garden instead!". No tolerance for intolerance. Or I'd go anyway and make a scene. Like, a gross amount of affection.
If my family ever meets my girlfriend, this is what I'd have to do. The only one who knows I'm poly is my brother.
That said, were I "out" to them, I'd expect them to basically deal with it - and if they couldn't, I would probably consider not going out of my way to talk to them for quite some time. That's not to say I'd rub it in their faces, but for them to expect me to act entirely platonic with someone I'm dating would make me feel enough like I wasn't accepted that I would make it a point not to try to be "a part of the family."
This is because I'm stubborn. Mostly.
if your granny's okay with it, and she knows about it, i see no reason not to bring her along. how much pda do you plan on doing, anyway?
Polotics has nothing to do with this. Your Aunt is an asshole.
Yeah your aunt is a bitch. I think you should call your grandmother and ask her how she feels about it and state your reasons for asking, too.
Then if your grandmother has no problem with it you can go and have a great time.
I would rebel by being very benefitty with said friend. JK. I think it would depend on who said it to me? Personally I know my grandparents would rather see me than not see me, so if I had to I would overstep the aunt and come anyways just to piss them off. I've never been really good at listening and I like pushing the envelope as much as I can.
But yeah, I feel you.
I wouldn't do it..but then again, I don't do too much bad pda around anyone that is family.
wait...did you agree to your aunt's demands?
In your situation, I think I would have firmly and politely (as possible) refused, saying I thought she was being unreasonable. But that's if it was just my aunt. I don't think I'd have the courage to do that with my entire family, which is what I'd have to do if it was me.well she doesn't exactly sound liberal to me..
you should've told your aunt that it would be a bad idea if her husband came and that they shouldn't show any signs of being a couple eitherSounds like she's only liberal when it comes to handing out money/services, not with actual individual rights. That's pretty un-liberal. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of church.
Great example of the reality of non-difference between the two parties.
Just to update. We did end up going to the party, and when my aunt arrived, she hugged Miss Lady and apologized. I guess it was just a random act of insanity on her part. The party was probably the most well behaved I have seen my family in... well ever. No body fought, no one argued, everyone had a great time. They all adored Miss Lady, and of course My Flower Child. It ended up being a really great weekend. Thanks everyone for your comments and support and such, I really do appreciate it.
Why don't you call your grandmother and ask her? After all, the party is about her, right?
i know this isn't the main point of the article... but if you vote republican you're voting to take your own rights away. plain and simple. please don't delude yourself.
@Ashtraygirl84@xanga - Aww, I'm glad she apologized and the whole thing turned out awesome.
can we just take a moment to meditate on how ridiculous the picture used for this article is?