Monday, 25 July 2011
I love fire. I've read too much poetry about phoenixes making a new start for themselves after rising from a fire, and came to believe the same thing could happen for me if I wanted to get rid of those painful memories of messy relationships and bad boyfriends.
Of course, instead of throwing myself into the fire, I'd make an ex-boyfriend bonfire and try to burn everything I could from a relationship, mostly cards, letters, and photographs.
It felt good--no, amazing--to see all the photographs and letters turn to ash in the center of a fire. I loved watching the ink light up before the paper curled, blackened, and disintegrated. I hoped it was the first step to helping me move on and forget about the crappy associations I made while dating those guys, especially my first boyfriend.
Time heals all, and though it took me a long time to get over him, I kind of wish now that I didn't burn everything he ever wrote to me--we used to write poems to each other as well--because some of it was really sweet and just really good writing. It would be cute to one day be able to show my kids our "love notes" and first awkward-looking pictures together.
I realize you can't erase memories, so why delete pictures or tear up old cards and notes?
Granted, I haven't had a break-up in years now, but in the future I definitely wouldn't try to "erase" the past that way. I see that kind of pain as a good thing--it reminds me that I did invest a part of myself into a relationship selflessly. A little pain never hurt a writer's inspiration either!
How do you cleanse yourself from the memories of a relationship past? Ever have an ex-love bonfire?