Sunday, 24 July 2011
Am I unfair for asking my boyfriend to stop smoking weed?
We're engaged now... and expecting our first child in February. We both have jobs and are currently college students. Since we've met, he hasn't smoked pot. He claimed he wanted to cut pot out in order to accomplish a healthy relationship with me that wouldn't involve daily arguments about his smoking habits.
He even admitted, early in the relationship that he didn't like smoking weed because he ignored those he loved (his two year old niece, who he generally would play with like an obsessed teenage boy plays with him Xbox 360, would get the cold shoulder from him when he was "under the influence"). He even hung out with the wrong people because they always had weed to offer him and ended up in trouble with the law... Me, and his mother, were both extremely proud of him for quitting. And, to us, he seemed proud of himself for his accomplishment.
However, we've only known we're expecting a child for a little more than a month now, and since then he's started smoking weed again. He recently had his last visit with his probation officer, who gave him drug tests for a DUI charge he got almost a year ago, which led him back to his "old ways."
The first night he did it, I found comfort in a guy friend, who really made me feel better about the situation, but when my boyfriend found those messages between us earlier today, he was LIVID. We spent all day fighting then making up. He told me at one point during an argument that he was going to leave to go hang out with one of his "pothead friends."
I then asked him, "Are you going to smoke?" and he replied, "No." As the situation defused itself a bit and we calmed ourselves down, things began to become normal again.
Then, we were sitting together and his phone rang, "It's him..."
I heard him say, "I'll ask her if she'll give me a ride up there" and I screamed "NO!"
He then said, "Well, I'll walk, you guys wait for me..."
He looked at me and told him to pack his bag. He asked if he could just keep his stuff there and I replied, "No, take it with you, you won't be back in my house for a while."
He smiled, went and packed his things, and left. At this point, my engagement ring is lying over in the bushes somewhere (I have one hell of an arm) and he's nowhere to be found while his pregnant (I'm not even sure what I want to be at this point) sits at home alone. I've done everything for this guy... and he's gone back to his old childish ways.
So, fellow Xanga bloggers, I need your help. Do I continue to sit at home, while my boyfriend ditches me every chance he gets to smoke pot? Should I continue to attempt to nip this in the bud before my child arrives? Or is it time for me to just tell him goodbye?