Okay, I admit it. I suck at the whole dating thing. My past relationships were all "I like you. You like me. Let's go out." I never really had the full experience of courting a girl to it becoming a relationship.
With the current situation that I'm going through, I asked someone to go to lunch a few times. But, we always had different schedules that didn't match up.
The reason why I insisted on lunch instead of dinner is so I can slowly transition it into dinner so it doesn't feel too rushed or anything.
A friend told me that asking someone to lunch is more of a "friend" type invitation whereas a dinner is more associated with "romantic" or date like. I agree with her, but she also agreed with me that you wouldn't want to have the person feel so pressured. You would want them to feel comfortable around you before you move onto the next step.
What do you think? What does "go out to lunch" and "go out to dinner" mean to you?
Recommend
Comments (16)
I think it's all the same if you ask me. A date is a date.
Don't even think of it as a date, just a "get to know you" meal.
They both mean that you're not getting any. People don't feel sexy after eating, people rarely go to each other's place after eating. The bill will make things a power play. Just take her out for something innocuous and quick if you want to get to know her better - a coffee. If you REALLY want to get to know her better ask her out for coffee in your back seat. You're welcome.
It's all stupid subconscious bullshit to me. A meal is a meal. Getting to know someone is getting to know someone.
always start with coffee. i think that's universally accepted as a "testing the waters" kind of thing. ultimately, you should realize two things though: a) if you really want it to be unambiguous, you have to use the word "date", and b) if she's going to say yes, she's going to say yes regardless of whether you say lunch or dinner.
@wyrdkismet@xanga - the problem is that many girls won't necessarily think of it that way if you shoot straight for dinner.
@Cearce@xanga - hahaha yes this is totally true. but i prefer drinks to coffee for that kind of thing. casual sex is sooo much less awkward with a strong buzz.
unless im told its a date, i look at it as hanging out and eating food. but thats because i like to keep it simple and not read into things. i figure if a guy wants it to be a date he will let me know. and i wouldnt worry about the whole pressure thing. if its a date, its a date! not a proposal. if thats too much pressure for someone well, good luck with that. but really, good luck. lol =D
Lunch does lean more towards the friend zone. Whereas Dinner will lean towards I want something more than friendship. If lunchtime was not working then, what about a late lunch/ early dinner? To me that would suggust that you want to be more than friends but you are cautious and do not want to rush things. If you dont think it will creep her out, ask her what her schedule is for the up coming week and see if you both have some free time and just ask if she would like to go get a cup of tea or try the new deli that just opened up.
You can ask her to dinner just make it something causual. You do not have to take her to a 5 star resturaunt right away. (even though that would impress me) I would be content and happy with if you took me to one of your favorite resturaunts that I have never been to. Or find out where her favorite resuraunt is and take her there. Or you could always go for the homemade dinner.
Or better yet, bring her lunch. Since you cant met bring the lunch to her.
Hope this helped
I agree with you here. Lunch is universally a friendly outing unless specifically mentioned otherwise. Lunch is just usually like, in between classes or in the middle of a workday so it's usually viewed as more of another stop in your day rather than a larger event.
Dinner is universally a romantic outing unless specifically mentioned otherwise. Aside from the typical candlelit "dinner date" associations we make in our head, it's just more of a pleasant deal. Your day is actually over so you don't have to worry about anything (at least, less than you had to worry about at lunch, surely) else except the person you're eating with and the good food you're eating. That's why dinner is more conducive to a romantic environment, and lunch is more conducive to a friendly environment.
This is of course, my opinion, but I think if most people ascribed by it then we'd have a lot less communication problems about this sort of thing.
It is, but I like a lunch or coffee to get to know the girl a bit first. Jumping straight to the dinner date is only for people who already know they enjoy spending time together, not for people who have met and found a spark...
I've never been on a one on one lunch or dinner with a guy, who I wasn't interested in more than friends. usually there are other friends there, so it is a group of people out to lunch or dinner. stopping by a coffee shop or jamba juice is more of a friendly and casual setting. plus it is only a couple dollars for each drink but with a lunch or dinner date, I have to be careful of guys, who will insult me for "using" them or agreeing to go on a "date" or leading him on. with drinks, I can pay for my own drink and if either of us offers to pay the entire tab for drinks, then it isn't that big of a deal. a non-date date can happen at lunch/dinner but mostly if I go on a meeting with business clients or I've known them for years and he is already in the friend category as if he is my brother lol
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga -
Gotta tell ya, you seem like you know whats going on!
Listen to the doll my friend, she knows.. GO FOR DRINKS ONLY
i like the lunch date idea.. you are right it's a good transition. I think if you want to play it safe and take your time, that's a good idea.
good luck!
As a lot of people here have said, do coffee or drinks.
It never occur to me, I thought they were the same. So, if a guy asked me out for lunch does that mean he's not serious and just want to eat out with a friend or could it mean something more?
i go on lunch dates & dinner dates with my boyfriend.
and actually breakfast date and late night snack date....!@prettykay04@xanga - haha ! that's so cute. (: