Saturday, 23 July 2011
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You're Lucky I Love You
A letter to my SO (who will probably not see this):You,
You're lucky I love you because these past two years have certainly been an emotional roller coaster. We both work hard at this relationship, but often I feel that I work harder. If I had put the same amount of effort in my schoolwork that I've put in on you, I'd likely be at Harvard right now. We have hurt each other numerous times, but you have done some unthinkable things. In some ways, you have made me an angrier person than I was before I fell for you three years ago. In fact, you aren't the same person I fell in love with. Somehow, we can't seem to let go in spite of this.
The truth is, I don't want to let you go and I think you don't want that either. Is love enough now? Sometimes, I wonder whether we are right to keep fighting for this if it causes us mostly to fight with each other. Clearly, I'm torn.
We've had a lot of great times together- more than I've had with anyone else. You make me laugh. We can be so happy just doing nothing. In my wildest dreams, I never thought I'd date someone as perfect for me as you are. For the most part, I know you feel the same way. But why now can I only recall the bad nights? Have I become resentful?
I know I'll fight for you until the end, but I fear that we are slow dancing in a burning room.
Love,
Dane
Have you ever felt this way about an SO?
Have you ever given up on someone too soon?
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About the Author
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- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 20. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
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Comments (70)
oh.. uh, i certainly wouldn't feel great if my bf told me that "i'm lucky he still loves me"
Wow. This couldn't be more true for my relationship.
Really? "You're lucky I love you?", I hope she dumps your ass.
Have you talked to her about this? Without the "you're lucky I love you" bits? because that doesn't sound like a good relationship if you're having thoughts like that
Clearly you're not worth her time if you think she's "lucky" that you give her the time of day. Ever think for a second that maybe you're not that great? I would love to hear her side of the story because you sound like a little bitch right now.
this is EXACLY how i feel about my boyfriend RIGHT now. We've talked about it and its a work it progress but for the love of all things holy, this is the most difficult thing to go through.
If you think your SO has made you an angrier person, then they probably aren't perfect for you. Nearly all relationships will encounter rough patches, but ultimately, you should be uplifted by your relationship. You should become a BETTER person, not an angrier one. I was in a similar relationship once and letting go felt absolutely impossible because yeah, the bad moments were bad, but the good moments were so. damn. good. It was a mess. Reading this made me sad and is eerily similar to something I wrote to my ex, once upon a time.
Good luck.
@ everyone who's taking offense at the you're lucky I love you statement, I think it may be harsh wording but it's not unlikely that this is how he feels. In a relationship, sometimes all you have is that love and some people might think that that love is worth enough to stay in the relationship.
In my experience though, when all you have is love, it may be the greatest thing in the world but ultimately, it will fail you.
Hey, dumdum, break up with her before she wises up and breaks it off first. Hope this helps.
@proudsmartypants@xanga - thats what i'm saying though, it doesnt sound like this is working :/
@bloggicus_maximus@xanga - LOL! That was the best piece of advice ever... I loved when you said at the end, "I hope this helps." HAHAHA! Liked it...
i feel the EXACT same way. =( good luck to you
Relationships shouldn't be this hard... BEFORE marriage. Imagine what marriage will be like if this is the dating phase...
That's tough. When love is the only thing you have left, it becomes a guessing game of "is this really worth it? is love really worth it?" While the words "you're lucky I love you" may be harsh, that's the reality of love. It's not always happy and perfect and when a relationship winds down to being just "I love you" it pretty much is luck that holds it together.
Good luck!
Does she want to change? Has she shown any improvement at all?
..This is very similar to mine and my boyfriend's relationship--except I'm the basket case in our situation. Issues and fears and deep-seated anger have risen to the surface in our relationship that I thought were long gone, or never knew were there--and since we've been together, I've started counseling, and have been diagnosed with OCD. That is the good part, though. Now, I'm learning how to control my OCD. It's not to say that we don't have very, very rough patches...but I don't want to stay this way, and I am trying to change.
..There have been many times I've wondered if it would be better or him to be alone. I don't think I've made him a better person. And, overall, our relationship has been a hassle. Yet, I don't feel it's all negative...at all. In spite of that. And I see it possibly getting much better.
..Is it just wishful thinking on my part? I guess time will tell.
..I think if she wants to change...and is trying...than give her a chance. If she doesn't seem to really want to change...than let it go.
@bloggicus_maximus@xanga - This should be the standard response to every datingish post!
Why are you with her if she's changed you this way and has made you so angry? You obviously shouldn't be with her. And by saying she's "lucky you love her" - I think that's a bit harsh and unnecessary. If she knew how you were feeling, she'd probably break up with you. I think you should sit her down, talk to her, open up, and really figure out whether it's worth keeping this relationship going or not.
Best of luck!
did you mean that she is lucky that you love her enough to stay and continue to work things out or was it more of you're lucky I love you or else the anger that you caused might've made you punch holes in walls and ruin the sleek decor of her room
I feel this way right now.
Love how people take offense to one phrase.
If you read more, you can see what he's saying when You're lucky I love you. Obviously there is a lot wrong with this relationship and it shouldn't make anyone a angrier person. Love isn't the cure all for everything either.It's great to have it, but it's not everything either.
Though I do agree that you should talk to her about these feelings. Open and honest. If you need to and you might, break up first.
so familiar to a lot of things that i have experienced
i know exactly how you feel but all relationships are hard work.love is a losing game if the good outweighs the bad then maybe you need change
*sigh* I've felt this way before. Even the "your lucky I love you" part. It is wrong to say but you are only saying that out of unappreciation and even resent.
The fact i'm listening to "never gonna leave this bed" by Maroon 5 and reading your post, seems to be a good combo.
I really can't tell you what to do but I wish you the best :)
Break it off, or literally BREAK UP. And see if it's possible to reconnect months later. No phone calls, no texts, live life SINGLE.
I wanted to write a thank-you letter to my ex for breaking up with me because I knew I couldn't have done it because I still love her. We were perfect, mostly happy for the nearly 4 years we were together. Yes, I was lucky that she loved me for that long because I was losing myself in the end. I got clingy and wanted to do everything with her. (stupid me, it was my first love). We couldn't imagine dating anyone else, or being separate. But eventually she had to break it off because she wasn't in love with me anymore. We tried going on a break, but there was still the "oh, she's still going to be there" or "oh, we'll get back together" mentality. We tried everything to make it work and to compromise. You really have to break up and just HOPE for the best, but prepare for the worst. Honestly, I'm afraid to say that a breakup is inevitable. At the moment, I go with the mentality "if it was meant to be, she'll come back. If not, then there is someone better out there who is meant for me"
i think the people hating on this post (assumption yes) maybe MAYBE haven't been entirely in a longterm serious relationship. Because truly each person in the relationship ARE BOTH lucky to have eachother
honestly sometimes you have to let things go, if they come back and work out it;s meant to be. me and my ex broke up 2 years ago and we were together for 2.5 years, he just told me how he wants me back, and made a mistake blah blah ...best of luck:)