Friday, 22 July 2011
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Cause When I'm With Him I am Thinking of You
Have you ever tried to move on and into another relationship when your heart was already given away? Have you ever closed your eyes and wished you were kissing someone else? Have you ever almost called that person's name instead of the person you are actually with? Well I have and it was the saddest I had ever been in my life.The hard thing about a relationship ending is knowing it's the end and you're gonna have to move on. In the beginning you find yourself questioning whether you could ever love another person the way you loved before. So you pick yourself up and go on with your life and through new relationships you grow, but the memories of the past seem to nip at you.
You compare everything no matter how hard you try not to and if its not like the way it used to be with ( insert first love here ) then it obviously isn't good enough.
I remember being in this exact place a couple of years ago and I must tell any of you that feel this way, you're gonna be just fine. Maybe that person you date right after your first heartache won't last and maybe they'll be just a rebound. But with time you'll get used to being alone and one day find yourself falling in love all over again, fully healed from previous wounds, like you never hurt at all.
Have you ever felt like you couldn't get over a past love? Have a story about moving on?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (27)
Well, one way to help prevent from doing that is just taking off for yourself to recover. After my first serious relationship ended, it took me about 7-8 months to finally pull myself up and move on and realize that the relationship is over, but it doesn't have to stop me from meeting someone else and loving them as much. I've met my second girlfriend about 18 months later and everything was fine. I was focused on her and loved her all I could. Again, when that time came where we separated, I was down, but I told myself to get back up.
As of right now, I've been single for 8 months from my recent relationship and feel ready.
I've never begun a new relationship if I'm still hung up on a past relationship. I kind of liked being single after my past relationships ended.
I'm hoping my last gf feels this way with her new bf XD part of me thinks she is.
I don't think I could ever love anyone the way I love my husband. If I think to hard about losing him then I'll start to cry. Things are different now because I'm pregnant with our son so if for some reason he left us, I wouldn't bring another man into my sons life until he was way older. Even then, I don't think I could ever fall completely out of love with my husband. Regardless of what happens he'll always have a hold of me, somehow.
Yep. It's been 6 months since my first love of almost 4 years broke up with me. Every day we were together I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. Even after breaking up, I still kind of love her even more for what she did.... It saddens me to see us split, but it's for the better I guess. Every single day that has gone by, she has been on my mind still :( But I am fine and living life with family and friends and that's all I can ask for.
i dont think ive ever cried or moped around after a break up for too long... yea i feel like crap for maybe two weeks tops but then i just get up and go...plus my two major break ups were horrible but like i said two weeks tops......
Still recovering. The key is to take everything one day at a time and not to force yourself into anything you're not ready for. Things take time, and even if you don't like being alone, you need time to remember who you are outside of a relationship. I tried to date someone else three months after I had broken up with my ex, and after three months I still wasn't over him. The other guy kissed me, and all I could see or think of was my ex. And they didn't kiss the same way, so all I did was wish I could be kissing my ex, which was completely unfair to the guy I was seeing. So I broke it off. I can't date other people yet, there's no point in trying.
Still not over my love of ten years. It's been almost three years (yeah, I know pathetic) and I haven't moved on. Doesn't help that I talk to him almost every day.
ugh story of my life.... some day I'll be known for having 3-5 rebound relationships in getting over that first failure...
ive only been in love twice. the first person i was never actually with? lol. but took 4 years to get over. "its complicated."... the second person, its been almost a year since ive seen him well 9 months. i probably could've spent the rest of my life with him. -- i feel ready to date though. i was too hard on myself with the break up. i thought "oh going on a trip-- will be refreshing!". it wasnt. "oh a date- well i should date i guess". that made me feel worse.
its hard but you get over it and are stronger in the end. i miss him a lot though. i still think about him constantly but know i should just leave. and i already did. im getting better. its just that theres no one in my life, right now- who can be with me. so i think we're in this state for a while (unless he was a total douchebag in which case you snap out of it real quick). -- but idk i think we feel this way until we meet someone else we DEEPLY connect with.
I tried to move on too quickly after getting divorced. I didn't miss my ex, I was just still heartbroken and not ready. The new guy was actually getting divorced while we were dating (they had kids so it took more time). It was just a mess. We shouldn't have done it. There are many times that I wish I had not met him and just taken that time to heal. It would have saved a lot of pain (and a little debt smh).
Now I'm with someone great! I still have a few trust issues, but I think I waited long enough and I was happy with myself before I met my bf. I really see this one lasting :)
well, after reading some of the other comments, it gives me a bit of hope. it's been 17 days since my childhood first love of 7 years unofficially broke up...i'm wondering if it was ok to get into another relationship so quickly...
I keep on getting rebounds. It's quite sad actually
I always take breaks between relationships. It helps.
this is how i feel right now...i hope it gets better...
I thought I would never get over my ex until I met my current boyfriend. With him, all the pain I suffered from previous relationships just don't seem to matter any more :)
Story of my life, guys.
@gilly_owens@xanga - I feel exactly the same way. I think the same thing would happen to me if I tried to date other people right now =/. Good luck on healing, I'm taking it day by day, too! It's only been like two weeks though after our second split. For the first split, we were apart for three months and I was completely miserably and moping, so I went back. Um, can you say fail? Second time doesn't fix anything. Glad I learned that.
@stanlee255@xanga - Awww, I know how you feel. Same thing. Keep on moving on! You're worth it =]
@hellstar0604@xanga - Don't get into another one so quickly. Let the heart heal. It's normal to experience emotional pain, which I find is the toughest. I believe that getting into another one just completely masks everything that happened in the previous one. As if everything that happened had gone to waste and nothing was cherished. You had to have had good times with the person, otherwise you wouldn't have been with them in the first place. Cherish those memories, learn from the mistakes, and move on. Don't look back! At least not in the beginning. I forced myself not to think about her at all, which was impossible, but I did my best. After MANY months have gone by, I find it okay to reminisce. Because now I can say "I still love her, but I am fine now."
@stanlee255@xanga - Yes. I definitely had some great times - and bad times - with him. We shared a ton of experiences, a ton of firsts together and pretty much became each others shrink. He won't be forgotten that's true and I hope to stay in touch, but I can't really say my heart is broken for it to be healed. We left on good terms, it's just that...after so many years of having someone so close to me, be miles away now - quite literally actually - it's hard to adjust...I was wondering if I got into another relationship so quickly to fill the void...The current guy is quite nice - although we don't spend as much time together as I would like, btw. May I ask what you think?
Or anyone for that matter?
@hellstar0604@xanga - For about 7 years..... I would ideally give it 6 months, just be single and flirt around, check out other guys, and just be a single person. Do what you want to do, go where you want to go, and not needing to call anybody or be on the phone a lot. If not, at least give it a couple months to be by yourself. It might hurt, you might feel lonely, but I think those are the times that we grow and mature the most. It really is hard to adjust. But give yourself time and persevere. I promise you that you will be a better person on the other side. Then start the relationship with a new person on the right foot with no feelings left behind of the previous guy.
Definitely felt this a couple of times. But then you move on. Sometimes it takes years and sometimes you still think about them, but life goes on.
Unless you're having their baby. Shit.