Wednesday, 20 July 2011
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Is This Relationship Too Good to Be True?
Have you ever had a time where you felt like your life was a movie? Have you ever felt like that for 6 months straight? I have and still do.
This past semester, I studied abroad in Madrid, Spain. Among the time spent studying, traveling and of course club hopping, I also met a guy, a Spanish guy.I met him randomly on a beach in Valencia after having enough drinks to feel just about ballsy enough to strike up a conversation with any stranger, which is exactly what I did. Initially, I thought he was part of our American group mingling with everyone like we all were, so I randomly approached him with a question and suddenly realized that he was Spanish, not with us, and spoke no English.
Luckily, I speak the language pretty fluently so that wasn't a problem, but instead of pardoning myself and walking away, I decided to stay and chat, and that intoxicated decision changed everything about my time in Spain following after.Coincidentally, he was from Madrid and was just visiting Valencia for the weekend like me. After meeting him, he showed me so many parts of Madrid I never would have seen on my own. He took me dancing, introduced me to new places to eat, toured me around his city, and took me to breathtaking sites where you could see Madrid at its loveliest.
But all good things come to an end, right? That's what I expected, but not exactly what he had in mind.He was planning on visiting the U.S to learn English and travel, specifically San Francisco, but he decided to see NY first because he saw the possibility of a "future" there. Now, I'm all for chick flicks, I love romantic comedies, but this sounds like a trap doesn't it? I mean I had a fabulous time with him, I would have loved to stay in Spain forever, but future?
How can you have a future with somebody a continent away? I don't want to be a cynic, but I am a realist.We've been speaking every day ever since I've left, and we've gotten surprisingly closer despite the distance, but at the same time there are days where all I feel is distance physically and emotionally. He arrives to NY in two weeks, and he is staying here for two months. I know the movie isn't over yet, but I'm not doubtful that it might end soon. I'm trying to play it by ear, live in the present, but its hard to not look to the future especially when the hour glass might be running out.
Do you think its sensible to even forsee anything happening in the future with this guy? Am I just looking for a negative in something that is just all positive?
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About the Author
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- From: savyadvice
- About Me: Born and raised in NYC, I am about to be a senior in college, and still feel clueless about exactly what I'm going to do after I graduate. For most of my life, I haven't been involved in anything too serious except for one relationship 2 years ago and one that is progressively getting serious now. Dating can be really exciting or extremely stressful sometimes, I'm excited to try and unblur (just coined a new word) the fine lines between the two here on this site. =)
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Comments (18)
Que sera, sera. Stop worrying so much, he obviously isn't.
haha you have a hot guy from madrid fawing over you. enjoy it while it lasts lovely.
@tomuch2askfor@xanga - agreed.
I'm in the same situation :)
awww yesss just enjoy it! experiences, especially like this, are wonderful.
Go with it until there's actually something wrong...unless you just aren't in the mood for the relationship or something.
i think there could be something good, stay positive.
as women we have a tendency to focus on the future a lot---just enjoy your time together and give yourself time---and be realistic---meaning, nobody goes into a relationship with the plans of hurting the other person. even if it doesnt work out, it won't be intentional. long distance relationships are challenging enough as it is---at the end of the day i think we all know what we're willing to settle for. good luck :)
story of my life! my entire life is a drama :P
I'd say just go with it but make sure you both know what you each want and let the other know - if you're not sure of a future but you're willing to give him a chance, why not?
"We've been speaking every day ever since I've left, and we've gotten surprisingly closer despite the distance, but at the same time there are days where all I feel is distance physically and emotionally."
This is exactly how I felt when my husband was courting me from overseas. Do you like this guy a lot? Do you have mutual interests, respect, and values? If so, I say go with it. Don't be afraid of the distance. You never know, he might be perfect for you. :)
Long distance relationships can fail or thrive--just like normal relationships. My boyfriend and I were in an LDR off and on for almost half of our relationship, and we're still together and have been living with each other for almost eight months.
So I say stay with this guy. Long distance can work. And if he--and this relationship--are worth it, it'll work.
As far as the title goes...I feel the same way. Sometimes it feels like I'm in a romance movie, where everything in the relationship is wonderful and where the guy says the most heartstring-pulling, epic, "You complete me" shit every day. And I've felt that about my boyfriend and our relationsip for four and a half years. :)
...Holy fuck. For being such a pessimistic bitch who can't stand romance movies, I sure can be sappy.
That sounds beautiful. From someone who has never been in a relationship, despite being 22 years old, I think you're very lucky. You are fortunate to have something that a lot of girls wish they did, and I'm happy for you! I can understand how such perfection could make you a bit paranoid, but don't worry about it! Just keep going, and don't even think about it. If it's meant to end (fingers crossed, it won't), it will, and you can deal with it then. But don't waste the valuable moments now. Something overthinking can lead to negative outcomes too. So just don't worry about it! :)
Enjoy your Spanish Holiday while it lasts, Ms. Hepburn ;)
If you worry too much, you might ruin what could possibly be something beautiful and permanent.
Sounds like everyone is rooting for the two of you :)
Just go with it. How often do you get to just take a chance that not many people get to take?
"Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
Yeah I know it's a really overused quote, but it's true! If you don't seize these opportunities you will live life always wondering what could have been. I gave a relationship everything I had in the past, and I got really hurt, but it made me who I am today and I would do it all over again if I had to. Don't ever lose that passion in life no matter what happens.
So what if it's "too good to be true". Who says it is? Go for it. Live your fairytale. :)
enjoy it and don't worry!! this is all very exciting.
I think, as a female, we focus too damn much on the future and planning. We also ask "what ifs" too damn much. Why can't anything just BE what it is. Life is too short to be worrying about stuff. Live in the moment and enjoy every moment you have with him as if it is your last. Stop focusing on small stuff and cross that bridge when you actually get there.
This is a exciting and spontaneous moment for you. LIVE in the present and enjoy everything. If you don't work out - the world isn't going to end. Take all that you have learned and apply it to your future relationship(s). I'm sure you both have much to learn from each other.
A coworker of mine spent a semester in Australia 7 years ago. In march she hooked up with an australian guy and thought it would be a one-night stand. However they continued talking and began seeing each other. When it came time for her to leave it was a pleasant enough parting, they both understood what the distance meant. But they continued to talk on the phone and in August of that year the guy asked if she was seeing anyone. She said no and neither was he. He then said "Well I think I have enough to come over and visit you for christmas, would you like that?" She said yes and he responded with "Lets keep this between us until then when we have a chance to talk in person. They stayed together for the next 2-3 years, each going to visit each other a couple of times over that period. At that point, he moved to the USA and they have been together since.
So, give it a chance, distance doesn't have to be the end of what could be a great relationship.