Tuesday, 19 July 2011
-
Defending Yourself with Forks and Knives at the Dinner Table
Because my mom works the night-shift at her job and my older sister and I were so involved with rehearsals at night, I never got to have a "family dinner" while I was at home. We only go out together for special occasions like birthdays and holidays, but always for brunch so my mom could sleep before work.
I always jump at the opportunity to have dinner with boyfriend's family because having a family dinner for no special reason was something I never got to experience growing up. It's nice to have some family-like interaction over a dinner everyone helped to prepare, someone each claiming salad, entrée, dessert, set-up, and clean-up duty every night.
However, his parents are divorced and I exponentially enjoy being at his mom's house more rather than his dad's house. Why? Because sometimes eating at the table with his step-mom makes me feel like I'm dining on a battlefield, needing to defend myself with comments full of sass, wit, and the all the things she wants to hear.
My boyfriend's mom is a very chill, anything-goes kind of woman. She always invites me over for dinner whenever I want to come and pays for me whenever I come along to a restaurant with them. She doesn't ask me any questions that make me feel uncomfortable and if I ever hesitate to give her an answer she always tells me it's alright if I don't want to answer.
We play games as dinner is cooking (my boyfriend is one of four boys, so there's always a lot of company around) and have "debates" over what's going on in the news or what's hot in the media. She doesn't care that I've stayed over his apartment and that we sleep in the same bed. Dinner is always delicious and laid-back, and I don't feel like I have to act very prim and proper--I can be pretty vulgar and blunt (no shame!) and burp with no warning. It's perfectly okay with her.
His step-mom on the other hand, kind of makes me feel like she was inspecting every move I make. The first time I went to her house was for a fairly large barbeque. I went inside to use the bathroom and as I turned the corner she was standing in the hallway, asking me if everything was alright after staring me down for a seconds. Did she think I clogged the toilet? Did I not wash my hands or something?
After letting her know that everything was alright, she was still standing in the hallway and eventually moved to make way for me to go to the backyard. Awkward. She was staring at me through the kitchen window after I walked outside.
I had dinner at my boyfriend's step-mom and dad's house for Christmas this past December. His step-mom had invited a lot of family over, a lot of them whom I was meeting for the first time. I sat on the opposite end of the table from his step-mom and I knew she was trying to listen in to what my boyfriend and I were talking about on the side.
Of all the random things my boyfriend and I were talking about during Christmas dinner, we got on the topic of lip balm and how one of his friends had given him her Chapstick when he was desperate for some moisturizer.
I'm not sure if we looked suspicious or something, but his step-mom butted in from across the table, "what are you two talking about now? Share with us all!"
My boyfriend replied, "We're just talking about Chapstick."
"What about it?"
"I couldn't remember what flavor my friend had given me when I needed it. She let me keep it."
"Oh? So D., wouldn't you know?"
*Awkward silence from me*
"Nope."
"Why not? Don't you two kiss and do other stuff?"
Methinks: I mean, yes? No? We can't even really hold hands around you without you making it a big deal, so what are you expecting me to say?
My boyfriend's brother came to save the conversation. "I think this is her way of saying she doesn't want to answer you."
"What? I'm just trying to teach the girl a little sass! So, do you guys do all that stuff?"
And everyone at the table, besides my boyfriend's brothers who were shaking their heads in dismay, was staring at me and my boyfriend as if we were about to tell them a detailed history of our sex life for a tabloid or something. I proceeded to stab my salad with the entrée fork and continued eating.Have you ever had an awkward dinner experience with your SO's family?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 106 Views: 0 304692 Comments: 0 2754 View all posts by dangelb
Comments (16)
..uh, the fuck? what a psycho... he's not even her kid
I would have looked her dead in the eye and said, "I don't suck on his face, so it would be hard to remember every flavor of chapstick he's ever worn." I would have made it just as awkward for her. That's rude, what she did. I don't remember if anything like that ever happened to me, but I come back with some inappropriate things when it does happen...
she might have a thing for you...either jealousy or attraction. I have seen both situations
Awww man. I thought this was going to be about how to fence with cutlery and fight off your fellow diners with only your wits, a soup spoon, and a salad fork =(
How odd... sounds like she has serious problems with social skills. Eh, my MIL always apologizes for the food... which is weird, because it always tastes good, and everyone tells her it's good.
Me: This is delicious, thanks so much for having us over!
MIL: I'm sorry, I thought it would turn out good...
Me: ???
she was probably observing you and gathering info, so she can talk ish about you with the others later after you've left. that's what my aunt often does when she meets her sister in laws. she said that her brother's wife dressed like a whore:D but I didn't think so. she was just wearing a tight fitting tank top and tight pants. here's the thing though...my aunt is fat, so I think she was jealous.
Wow, weird.
I like to think I'd firmly tell her that's private information, but I'd more likely giggle uncomfortably and say yes.
Certainly, I hope next time someone would chime in and tell her that it is none of her business about what you and your boyfriend do, even if it is just kissing. Maybe just tell the boyfriend to talk to his step mom and let her know that she is making you uncomfortable with the way she is talking to you.
@gilly_owens@xanga - Yeah I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, but luckily one of my boyfriend's cousins was able to diffuse that awkwardness. Not sure if I'll be having dinner there anymore hahaha.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - Oh trust me, I imagined it all in my head. Knives always win. I could surely write a post about that... thanks for the inspiration ;) "Defending Yourself with Forks and Knives at the Dinner Table: The Literal Version" :P
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - Hahaha maybe she does it to get some affirmation that her cooking is good?
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - Interesting. *strokes chin* Hmmm, the conversations they could have had about me...
@laytexduckie@xanga - He did offer to talk to her about it, but in the end it didn't happen. Probably won't be seeing her very soon anyway--maybe by then I'll have "enough sass" to combat such things!
hahha omg that sounds so terrible... my boyfriend's parents are so chill, i smoke with them all the time and hang out with them once in awhile... they don't really butt into our business but they do know that we have sex... his dad has offered us condoms MANY times -___- they let me sleep over whenever, just as long as they know i'm there.
guess it's only awkward depending on the parentsss
My family doesn't do the "family dinner" thing and so it's very awkward when I am with my boyfriend's family. First off, his father is very angry and argumentative as well as close-minded and ignorant. Both of his parents are obese. His mother, who has cancer, is always very tired and quiet but only asks once if I have enough to eat. His father insists on commenting if I'm not eating enough. And I'm overweight! It's not like I'm wasting away there. v_v
@tiptoplove@xanga - Hahaha my boyfriend's mom definitely knows all. On the otherhand I'm not sure how that'd fly on his dad's side x_x and yeah it's relative to each parent.
@lyrra_askavi@xanga - Ugh it's always awkward when conversation gets pushed onto the food. Like, why can't we all just eat in peace?
I've found that if you return the favor, it will get you a win. Tell her how much you enjoy anal, and ask if she likes it. All you need is the gall to take it as far as it needs to go. She obviously doesn't like you already so what do you really have to lose? My motto: Never ask me a question you don't want the answer to.
The only awkward situation I had was when my ex's mother asked her (in front of her father, a man with a loaded crossbow hanging on the bedroom wall) if I "was a good fuck." She answered. He didn't kill me though. lol.
@Not_a_real_site@xanga - LOL. How blunt! :P
i think u reacted perfectly. She was setting up a trap and wanted you to walk right into it and embarass yourself but you didnt. Just shrug her off.