Monday, 18 July 2011
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Theres a Reason Why She's Single
Do you ever look at a girl and wonder why she is still single? She may be the full package: beautiful, smart, talented, incredibly sweet and funny, but she is always alone. Now it could be intimidation, but that's a cop out, I know plenty of guys would find a way to build up their courage to talk to this girl if given the opportunity. Or it could be that guys in our generation don't want to seriously date, but we know that's not true because there are plenty of guys who end up in serious relationships no matter what age. So what is it that prevents this girl from having a boyfriend?
Well the reason why this amazing package of a girl is single is because she isn't putting herself in the right places.She's social, but hangs out with her girlfriends who mostly have boyfriends or are completely intimidating. She stays within the same social circle and only meets her friend's guy friends, and one of them is her boyfriend. She plays it safe and comes home after work and she believes that you can meet a guy by going to a bar. Well this girl is me and before you write me off as conceited know that I'm just confident in my own skin and I think everyone should be as happy with themselves as I am with myself.
Ask any of my friends, I am the friendliest person around and I can make a fabulous conversation with the wall if I had to. One of my friends has said that if she were ever stuck in an elevator, I would be the person she would want to get stuck with. But I can't seem to meet any new guys. I have always played it safe and in my high school days I actually approached my crush and pursued him until he became my boyfriend. I am naturally not an aggressive type and I would rather a guy show some strength in approaching me, but it hasn't seemed to work in my favor.
Playing it safe, you won't find me acting saucy or scandalous or any other word you can think of to describe a typical single girl. Even when I do date, if I don't like a guy I just say "I'm not looking for anything serious," which really translates to, "I'm not looking for anything serious...with you." Usually that works against me because now that guy actually ends up liking me more for this laid back persona except that's not what i am. If you have read my previous posts you know that I carry this checklist in my head and I don't date someone unless I know there can be a future in it. I do this most likely because I don't want to end up devastated when I fall in love with someone that won't be able to last.
So there's a reason why I'm single, and there's a reason why I'm not meeting anyone and it's my own fault. I think too much and that makes everything all the more stressful.
Do you know a girl like this? Are you this girl? Where can a girl go to meet someone this day and age other than match.com?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (106)
Another reason why such girls are single is that they're secretly monsters. They may be players who have exhausted their local supply of men, or they are just mentally disturbed in some way.
"Do you ever look at a girl and wonder why she is still single? She may be the full package"
Or maybe she isnt. Maybe she's a raging bitch in secret. I've known a couple.
Or she could be, you know, choosing to be single? Fullfillment in life doesn't come from changing your relationship status on facebook.
"I'm not looking for anything serious"
When women say this, us guys think the we are about to have the beginning of a beautiful friendship with benefits
OR
She doesn't want to get hurt because of the douchebags by the dozen she sees everyday.
That girl they used for the picture is beautiful.
Oh i fully know what u mean!
I don't think women really want equality.
If they truly did, then they would get off their arses and approach men once in a while!
There are very few men out there with such good approach skills to overcome all girl's silly little tests ;)
@testyman666@xanga - So many things wrong with that statement - don't know where to begin.
Some girls just like to be single. I'm busy and school, work, and friends are my priorities over relationships, so it helps that I don't have to worry about making time for a partner and I can focus on myself right now. Plus there's no point in starting something serious if I'm just going to be moving around for the next few years.
Some girls give off a vibe that they're inaccessible. Guys don't like rejection and they stay away from them. Some girls also don't know how to act around guys, even ones that seem like they're the perfect package.
Here's another thought: what girls think is the perfect package, guys might not. Girls tend to think that guys want sweet, chic, smart, domestic women while a lot of times guys want a smart, exciting, head strong, adventurous girl. Those characteristics may not always be true but women's idea of perfect is not usually the same as what guys think is perfect.
@testyman666@xanga - men have silly little tests too. It also seems that women are much more willing to go after guys nowadays. I have before.
if she is the full package, then she chooses the guy, not the guy chooses her, which explains why you pursued your bf and made him yours when you thought that he was a catch worth chasing. so since she is in demand, then she has many options to choose from and won't just settle because she puts guys on a high pedestal to meet her expectations. or she enjoys being single and just loves flirting with nothing serious until she meets a guy that she deems compatible and worthy of considering something more. like other people have mentioned, maybe he/she is too good to be true. some guys in my past, I initially thought were "amazing" but as time went on, my impression of him changed and I wondered why I was so hung up on a psychotic yet charming sociopath
YES!
Usually when I see a very attractive woman, especially when it's in a college program, I assume said girl is hooked for life. When I find out that's not the case, I'm really shocked. That's the case with a friend of mine who I've had a thing for the longest time. She's the type who is really close with her parents/family, is heavily involved with her church, hangs out mainly with friends that she has known since Kindergarten, and is actively focused on career pursuits. She turns down every guy that asks her out and is friends with only a few.
Some women just like to be single.
A great place to meet a good guy is at a library in the research section. He might either be really smart or he could just be shooting up heroin.
Another place you should try is a volunteer center. Nice people, as a general rule, volunteer their time.
I would never say to someone "I'm not interested in anything serious". That's kind of lame. Just tell them the flat-out truth: "I'm not interested in dating you". Grow some balls, and they won't fall for your false aloof-ness, because that isn't who you are.
While like many people pointed out, obviously there are other reasons why a woman would be single. However, I am totally the girl you described. Although I do currently have a boyfriend, I tend to be single for years at a time. I always wonder where I am lacking to cause it [which isn't very good for the self esteem lol], but eventually realized that I wasn't making enough effort on my own.
I'm single because I'm poor. I can't afford to date, and I certainly can't afford a family.
People try to force me to partner to destroy me or because they need help. As I get older, people respect my personal bubble a little better, though I did have some psycho run up into a bar, shove his hand into my face and accuse me of hitting on the prime minister of Russia.
My life is interesting.
I'm not that girl, but I have known some girls who are in similar situations. I would have to say that not all girls are single for the same reason. They may not have found the right guy yet. Maybe they purposely turn guys away because of insecurities, or a lack of desire to commit. There are many reasons why they stay single. Perhaps, being married is not one of their priorities.
@rays_anatomy@xanga - I agree, the games should be left for the children to play, not adults looking for relationships. Why waste time with lies?
omg this article is the story of my life. I am exactly the same.
I am this girl as well.
Thank you. It's nice to know that I'm not the only girl like this out there.
i know i hear the violins, but if you can't feed 'em don't breed 'em.
I'm still single because if there's not a particular guy I'm interested in at the time, I usually don't give dating much thought. And unfortunately, whoever I am interested in at the time isn't interested in me. :(
story of my life -_-
Lol. Every time I think I am sick of being single and try to date, I remember why I liked being single when shit gets complicated with a guy.That's why I'm single. Dating is way too complicated for a simple woman as myself. I like to get to the damn point.
She's probably the one that I am going for right now. I'm not sure if she ever had a boyfriend. She's usually school and work oriented, but she always likes to hang out in groups and go out to eat.
Umm I'm pretty sure you and I are twins, then! What to do, what to do?
Playing the "holds her own ground wont let her guard down" this is so 22 23 24 and old! its attractive when your busy and explain that your busy and still have time for us...that turns men on because you really are holding your own ground.......but the whole above statement when you hit 25 its even more unattractive..... is extremely unattractive most guys just want friends and not sex or a booty call. Which is me... If i cant have a casual hang out or connection well with a lady who wont cooperate its not worth it.....most the girls I know who are single will not even adjust to even see themselves on a date with a guy.....thats how lame the women generation is.......
i am this girl. i have been single my entire life.