Sunday, 17 July 2011
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Be Careful What You Say, He's Testing You
Have you ever felt like a guy you are speaking to is actually testing you to see if you are less than what you seem to be? He asks you the hard hitting questions that allows him to decide whether you are in fact a smart girl or a bull shit artist. Well I am an expert test taker, in everything but math and science of course, and it has prepared me well when it comes down to these important conversations.You may not realize this but conversation in itself is very stimulating. I know for myself that I become more attracted to a guy that I can carry a smart conversation with and when he answers the questions that I ask with responses that i don't find compatible with my own thoughts I usually write them off.
Now I don't want you to think that I'm not a sincere person just because I know how to answer these questions right, because I genuinely mean what i say when i talk to people. But for those of you that find yourselves saying the wrong thing because you don't realize you are in fact being tested, take a page out of my book and better prepare yourself.
Rule #1: Always study! If you like someone, find out about them before you talk to them that way you aren't left with an awkward conversation with nothing to say. This will also help you determine if you actually like this person or just find them attractive. If you find out this person loves sitting on the couch watching sports all night and you're a person who enjoys going out and being social, maybe this isn't a match for you.
Rule #2: Think before you answer! If you are given a question you are unsure of, better say "I don't know" or tell the truth instead of pretending to always keep up with the score of the latest Giants game. It's just embarrassing when you're called out or even worse when you are stuck on a date surrounding that one sport you actually hate watching.
Rule #3: Blow them away. Since you have studied prior to your first important conversation with this person and you have thought out what you would say to each probing question now you must blow them away. Not only will you be an attractive person to them since they are taking the time to talk to you, but you will be a person they can have a conversation with. This raises his impression of you to a much higher standard. Now that he knows you are smart and that you have opinions he can agree with, there is a potential to date you.
So study well, think before you speak and with that knowledge I know you will all succeed in getting yourself an awesome date with the person you like!
Have you ever been given a test when talking to a guy you like? Would you test someone you think is cute? Can you phone a friend?
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About the Author
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- From: CarlyPaige
- About Me: Currently I am a college student studying English and Education. A true monogamist, I have only had 2 serious boyfriends but have been single for 2 years. The dating scene in college is complicated to say the least and here I will share with you my experiences, my friends experiences, both past and present as an example of what to do when confronted with awkwardness, confusion and love.
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Comments (21)
Rule 1: Stalking!
Rule 2: Awkward pauses!
Rule 3: Intimidate him!
Yeah, and then there are always those questions like are you a good cook? Where do you see yourself in five years? Where do you think you would settle down some day? How many kids do you think you'll have?
I'd fail his test on purpose. Really, I'm not into being tested by a guy, let alone anyone so I would be turned off by it. If he doesn't like me the way I am, then I am not going to study up on him to deceive him into liking me. Besides that sounds stalkerish to me. But I do like your Rule #2.
I usually ask the guy a bunch of random outlandish questions to hear how he responds. either he says that I'm weird or he ad libs and plays along. then I can determine if he has a sense of humor or he is a boring dud-_- I've had 1 minute convos with guys and also effortlessly had convos with guys for more than an hour talking and laughing. I don't really care if he is the scholastic intelligent type but whether or not he is fun to be around. we can talk about deeper things but for starters, I'm mostly looking for chemistry and how well we get along. with some people that I've talked to, it was awkward and a pain to have any type of real conversation because it felt like an interview or he was just boring/didn't interest me.
^ 100% agree with above. I usually do this same kind of testing upon first meeting someone. Works everytime.
Regarding your post, these "rules" are pretty basic courtesy you should do in any kind of relationship, right? I mean, study a person before talking to them is common sense. Why talk to someone when you have no idea the kind of person you're talking to? Thinking before you answer is something anyone who isn't in a kindergartener should be able to do. Lastly, having your own opinion is hopefully, something you've established since grade school.
@GodlessLiberal@xanga - Exactly. Cue long-lasting facepalm.
i think in the early stages. its all a test. but more. we need to size people up, see how well they respond to us, and see if things can work or if we're on the same page.
im just me. can you handle me? how do you respond? can i trust you? etc. how interesting are you? do you move me?
theres a lot to consider, but when its a good match. everything is right.
uhm ... lauren conrad is so pretty!
but i don't think you should have to 'study' up on anyone .. if the chemistry is there, and it's meant to be .. then you're going to click anyways. just don't lie and pretend you're into something when your not.
I had one guy tell me that I should keep notes on men I met to keep from getting confused -- I told him that guys tend to repeat themselves anyway and I tend to be forgetful at least it would stay interesting! He was amused.
psssh YES! i hate that shit. im pretty much a train wreck when i first hang with a guy. i have huge anxiety issues! so when a guy starts quizzing me plus my anxiety, fail. lol. though i usually find it douchey when a guy judges me that way. once, this guy put me on the spot about my favorite band. sorry if i dont know their band members mothers name asshole! bah! and i dont test guys that way. haha i use my phones google instead of a friend line. lol
that's too much damn work. How bout I just be myself
great post :)
I prefer to find out about someone by talking to them, and not through third parties or alternate means. The awkward pauses can be fixed with a kiss or even just a smile. As for being tested, I used to know a guy who would purposefull disagree with me to see if I would stand my ground or cave to him. If he made a valid argument I would sometimes concede, but he learned that I had my own mind and opinions and wasn't scared of losing him just because we were different.
I don't think they're testing... I think they might just be trying to have a conversation, and some women aren't used to it. (He's asking me questions? Gah, it's so much easier when they just ogle my tits, how dare he "test" me like this! Everyone knows that mutual interests and world views don't matter in relationships... well, I will beat his system!)
why not be yourself, go with the flow, and say what you'd usually say. be your usually charming self and things will work out fine. dont stalk him. thats weird. They shouldnt be testing you in the first place.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - I totally agree. This is the kind of stuff men get mad about later on when they realize you lied to trick them into liking you.
@TinkerTrae@xanga - Guys can't tell when girls are being fake though. It's kinda their own fault. lol They don't give the girls who already like them a chance, so girls feel like they need to be fake to catch the guy who they like.
not to offend, but you should probably write for cosmo.