Sunday, 17 July 2011
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Ugly Ducklings are on the Verge of Becoming Extinct
The concept of an ugly duckling has been lost on our society. It’s a sad realization I have come to in the recent months, but one that has probably held true for at least two years, maybe more. The days of the unsuspecting hot girl are over.
Ugly ducklings were the best. They had “grown into themselves” over a long period of time, and had absolutely no idea how hot they were. They used to be ugly, so they made up for their handicap by being funny, really nice, extremely smart or talented in some other way. Many times it was a great combination of the above qualities. I mean, when you’re not sitting in front of a mirror admiring your latest application of eyeliner, you have plenty of time on your hands to read a book or learn French.
The key was that these girls didn’t spend all of their time thinking about how they could use their attractiveness to their advantage, even once they got hot. It wasn’t an option; they had much more to offer. If she needed to sneak into a bar underage, her first instinct wasn’t to hike up her skirt and show a little more cleave to the bouncer, it was to memorize her fake’s information and act sober.
Today, everything has changed. The world of photo sharing has allowed every girl to show off her best to the world. And even if she doesn’t want to, her friends will do it for her with the great application of tagging at We're Just Not There Yet. Because everyone from her elementary school buddies, to her aunt and uncle are her friends on Facebook, everyone gets to see the brand new mobile uploads. And within seconds of the upload, the comments begin:
“Whistle, Whistle… Looking good Stacy!” – Random junior high friend.
“Great look girl!” – Love Mom.
“Hey Gorgeous, love the new pic.” – Some random dude.
She doesn’t have to be hot; she just has to have her picture up. It would be rude not to say something nice. Like seeing a baby for the first time, if you don’t say anything, you are a complete asshole. Even if it’s an ugly baby, you are required to pay some sort of compliment: “She has her dad’s eyes!” or “Ooooo, look, he has all ten fingers and toes…”
Thanks to my best friend’s mom, I always go with the safe comment on the clothes when dealing with an ugly baby, “I didn’t know they made True Religions that small, how cute!”
So now we have to deal with the cute baby syndrome with every girl, thanks to the Internet. Look at me on the beach, look at me on a plane, look at this hot picture of my ass… oops, that one was supposed to be a direct message to Dan, not a wall photo… well, fuck it, I’ll leave it up. Let the ego boosts begin.
The problem is that there used to be this great barrier between the hot girls who knew they were hot (bitches), and the ugly ones who knew they were smart. However, with promotional jobs, glamour shots and Facebook, those lines have now blurred.
A 6 just became a 9 in her mind because she put on a Jager tank top and gave you a free shot on a Tuesday night.
That picture went up on Facebook, and now she will forever act the part of that hot girl when being approached by guys. You may disagree, however after working in the promotional industry for 5 years, I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that this is true.
The other night, I went downstairs around 10pm in my fancy Chicago hotel to grab a beer before sitting down to write this blog. Next to me sat a lovely girl in her late 20’s with two Blackberry’s, an iPhone, and a glass of Chardonnay in front of her (never date anyone under 50 whose first wine pick is Chardonnay). After 10 minutes, she let out a sigh. After 15, she started playing with her hair on my side. 20 minutes went by and she came up for breath from her assortment of ego devices to turn around (my way) and look in the lobby. And then, when she was satisfied that her Facebook, Twitter and BBMing was at a standstill for 5 minutes, she started the conversation with…
Girl: Technology, I love it, but sometimes it’s such a pain in the ass, you know?
Me: You have three phones.
Girl: I know, right? It’s gotten to this point where I have to... What do you do?
Me: I drive a truck.
Girl: Like a real truck?
Me: You got it.
Girl: You don’t look like a truck driver… Well, not to be rude, but how are you staying here?
Me: Oh, I’ve been here off and on for almost 2 weeks now. It’s quite nice isn’t it?
Girl: Um, yea… Well, it’s nice to talk to a normal guy. Usually within about 30 seconds of a guy sitting next to me, I get hit on. You waited like 15 minutes to talk to me!
Me: You started the conversation.
Girl: Well, um, so I was at this big party last night, up at the WIT, on the roof, and it was so amazing. There were so many beautiful people, and a few celebrities, and…
Me: (I zoned out staring at the painting across the bar)
Girl: (hitting me on the arm) Hey! Are you listening?
Me: Yea, you were saying something about you being pretty and guys hitting on you…
Girl: No I wasn’t, I was talking about this party I went to…
Me: Right, my mistake…
The poor girl wasn’t even that hot, but she had sat there long enough looking at her own pictures on Facebook to believe that she was. It’s a sad day for guys still holding out for an ugly duckling. The world of mirrors is now upon us. It’s not; “look at your boyfriend” anymore, but rather, look at yourself to make sure you look perfect. Mirrored sunglasses, iPhones with front facing cameras, the best clubs adorned with mirrored walls… it’s never ending.
Girls who think they are hot make terrible girlfriends. It’s not an issue of them being hot or not hot either, it’s just them spending so much time thinking that they are.
Thinking that, at a moments notice, if you screw up, they could get something better. That every guy walking down the street would drop everything on their schedule just to have the chance to touch them. This population has grown exponentially in the past few years, and will continue to do so in the future. I mean, Team Eden Wood, really? I feel terrible for that "Toddler’s in Tiara's" first boyfriend. He’s going to be scarred for life (not to mention her).
There are still a few girls out there who do not fall into this category. But unfortunately, it’s just that, few and far between. So girls, do yourself a favor, and put a few of those mirrors away. Let your boyfriend tell you how hot you are, not your 1,700 Facebook friends. Wear smaller sunglasses that actually fit your face (sunscreen is the key), and please, don’t let your newfound ego overtake how cool you really are, or could be.
It’s okay to be an ugly duckling. Guys prefer it.
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- From: werejustnotthereyet
- Name: We're Just Not There Yet
- Location: Charlotte, North Carolina, United States
- About Me: We, Seth and D, are writers... The book, We're Just Not There Yet will be out in 2011. http://www.werejustnotthereyet.com
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Comments (90)
I think you can know you're hot without being vain about it, and without obsessing over the mirror, or posting tons of pictures on facebook. You can know you're hot and still be smart or talented. It's called confidence.
But I REALLY like my big sunglasses, I can't give those up.
Otherwise, I agree.
cause its totally attractive when guys think they're hot shit and post pics of their abs all the time..
the same applies to some guys, too. my guy is hot and he spends time checking out other girls on facebook and commenting on their pics rather than talk to me sometimes
but I sort of do the same
I mean people take the time to send me messages and leave comments on my page, so it is mostly a courtesy gesture to return the favor or else I'd be one of those snobs that rarely replies to anyone
I keep a low profile on here, so there isn't that much fanmail to respond to lol
If you want more like this, check out our blog or "like" us on our Facebook Page
haha, I was just explaining to my boyfriend yesterday about how I used to get bullied all the time for being so ugly. I was incredibly flattered when he couldn't believe it. Ugly ducklings for the win.
So true... This reminds me of a girl I know. Last year this guy got really mad at her and started yelling, saying that she was stuck-up and conceited and she wasn't even that pretty, stuff like that. She tossed her back, told him he was jealous of her looks and money, and pulled out a mirror. She stared at herself for maybe thirty minutes to an hour?
i'm sorry the days of a woman not knowing her worth and beauty are over, asshole. why don't we bring it back so that you can fulfill your fantasy of finding a woman who doesn't know how great she is so that she can settle for you? it seems to me that you have a hard time snagging a "10", which is what you want, because you don't have "10" looks or anything else to offer, so you're waiting for an insecure 10 to come along and accept you as the best she is ever going to get.
personally i prefer a woman who knows how beautiful and wonderful she is because that is what we call confidence --- and what the intimidated often wrongly call vanity. i don't want a girl so ignorant to the world that she doesn't even understand the qualities of her own face. that is ridiculous.
facebook picture-whoring is silly and immature, yes, but the core of this post is so much worse than just chiding people for this behavior. guys prefer an ugly duckling, aka a woman who doesn't know her own beauty? yikes.
you were also super rude to this girl. she may not have been the most tactful or brilliant or beautiful woman you've ever seen but it's common courtesy to politely let her know you're not interested in the conversation/are busy writing your blog post, rather than just ignore her outright while she's speaking..,. whatever happened to conducting ourselves like adults, even if the people around us aren't?
@haltija@xanga - I agree with your first paragraph. Although there's a definite difference between confidence and vanity...just because they're confident doesn't mean they're also not vain lol. But I myself just prefer a balance between confidence and modesty.
OP...you're probably looking in the wrong place if you're going to bars or clubs or something. Even "classier" ones. There are plenty of girls who are confident in their looks while being modest about it.
a girl can be confident and think well of herself
but she'd be missing something, and
that thing she's missing would be modesty.
I actually agree with this post. Facebook, etc. has turned into the world of white lies. "Oh, you look so good," comments detract from what real beauty is. Real Beauty is something you just are born with, not something a lot of makeup and fake compliments gives you.
You can be confident in your looks in that this is the best I can look without being vain. Too, too many girls think they are hot and really they are just skinny girls in makeup. That's not hot. Being skinny isn't hot, having a nice body (through exercise or luck) is hot.
I think we take away the meaning of true beauty when we deem everyone to be hot. No, everyone isn't hot and that is okay! I'm not hot, I'm not even lukewarm but that doesn't mean I can't have a nice guy and happy life.
I like the way your writing flows too, good job.
you said "ugly ducklings" I thought that was a general term because it should be. There are plenty of men who fit the description you layed out. But I wouldn't say that it is gone for good because you're just talking about the uglies who don't know that they're ugly, which is completely different than the ugly duckling you described in the beginning. The uglies are people (yes men and women) who strived to be part of the popular group growing up but never made it, then in college or after high school revamped themselves (because they probably have their own money to finally portray the look they wanted to portray growing up but their parents said NO) and now believe that they are no longer ugly and are reconfirmed by all the whistling comments they get on their facebook page. They aren't the ugly ducklings, they are the uglies.
hahahah I love this post. It's very well written and perceptive.
I don't use facebook but I know the exact phenomenon you're talking about.
But allow me to shed some light on the counter argument that inevitably comes along with your opinion. There really is nothing wrong with thinking you're hot, even when you aren't objectively asthetically pleasing to most other people (beauty is subjective anyhoo). I don't mind and even think that it's a great thing that women are finding different ways to make themselves feel more beautiful and confident. However, here's where the fine line is drawn.
There is a world of difference between a woman who knows she is beautiful, hot and wonderful but still remain humble, and focuses her attention on other people and especially her partner when she is in a relationship, as oppose to the type you were discussing, hot (objectively or not) but vain and narcissistic.
So in short, as long as the photo-gawking, mini skirt wearing, makeup clad women still remain intelligent, humble and wonderful people instead of warping into superficial "delusional" sluts .. there really isn't anything wrong with little ego-boosters here and there.
fb is the devil..
Also should I feel sad that no one really comments on my fb pictures outside of how dumb I look putting a pig in a bunch of different sanarios. XPAgreed!
Same thing goes for men. They put up a million photos of themselves shirtless and girls "like" every one. Next think you know they are a total tool whos convinced every girl wants a peice.
I know, I liked it more when girls thought about me instead of themselves, also. In fact, all the world should think about me.
Sometimes a girl can get lost in fantasy when enough guys tell her she's pretty.
there is no way you're not single, haha. This is a myth you've created in your head because I guess you don't have enough game to get the girls who are hot and know they're hot? Since when did super hot people who are shy in real life ever exist? They were only characters in movies, who were really just hot actresses who knew they were hot but put on big glasses and wore their hair in ponytails as a disguise. "Hotness" is a societal value that doesn't always correlate to someone's biological physical appearance.
If you see a girl with long blond hair, prominent cleavage, with a decent face and a small red dress, most people will think, "WOW, she's hot!" But every aspect of that hotness had to be crafted to fit the societal ideal. The "ugly duckling" isn't going to dye her hair blond or wear a super-push-up-bra because if she did, she would know she was at least sort of hot while doing it. But chances are, being the douche you are, you would never think a girl is hot unless she did dress up like the first girl. Chances are, given the tone of your post, you would only find girl 1 attractive if she faked being insecure instead of just rocking her hotness.
Posts like this just stink of misogyny and douchecanoe to me. Like seriously where do you live that you haven't met decent girls who are nice and attractive and care about social issues, their jobs, their friends and/or their family more than their appearance? If you haven't been meeting any, it's not that they don't exist, the problem is you and it's probably just a case of magnetism, where douches attract other douches.
Most guys don't prefer "ugly ducklings," I would guess that most guys prefer women who are confident without being camera-whoring teenagers. There's nothing wrong with having confidence, but dumb-dumbs like you never miss a chance to tell girls that they should alter their personality and how they see themselves in order to please you, Mr. Such A Great Catch, Apparently.
@haltija@xanga - can we get married...? Or civil-unioned since not everyone is considered equal under the law? Or avoid the entire middle-class heteronormative wedding and just be in love based on your comment? ;)
i AGREE with this post 100% lol. seriously, chicks are so annoying on fb. they think they're hot but they're really not all that great.
this might sound like i'm tooting my own horn (and probably makes me sound hypocritical now since i'm about to give myself a "compliment"), but i am (was) an ugly duckling. that's basically how i classify myself personally.
i wanted to dislike this post but couldnt. reminded me of all the butterfaces out there with nice bodies who get so much attention. @_@ all the girls i get in my store thinking theyre so amazing and sexy. its irritating having to hear all the conceited women fawning all over themselves. makes them unattractive.
I actually really enjoyed reading this - I wasn't sure what I was expecting. I definitely agree though.
I like this post. swag.
you know as slightly slightly sexist this was, i couldn't help but LOVE it. seriously. as for the girl you "met" at the bar ahahah so very sorry.
I still think I am ugly and I've embraced it (that's probably why people think of me as confident, but it's more like I've accepted I will always be ugly so no use hiding and being shy about it) even though all my friends, family, fb friends tell me otherwise so I am not sure if they're doing it because it's true or because of what you are saying...However, since I am ugly, I also improve upon my skills, talents and, of course, my personality (because I don't have good looks on my side). On the flip-side, I have met many men who think their the hottest man on earth when they are not that good looking, which makes them unattractive to me because they are so arrogant/ conceited/ etc...