Saturday, 16 July 2011
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Wearing My Sorority's Letters is NOT an "I'll Sleep with You!" Sign
When I made the decision to join a sorority at my university, I got some really appalling responses from some of my friends, dormmates, and aquaintances who weren't all supportive of my decision. Their images of Greek life were cluttered with promiscuity and hazing.
"You're going to be one of those frat rats now?!"
"I guess that means you'll be screwing all these frat boys every weekend."
"Better break up with your boyfriend now before you wake up in someone else's bed not remembering how you got there."
I hate that that's what kind of stereotype the word "sorority" elicits--that all you'll do is sleep around and drink four out of five nights per week. I was jokingly called a "sororstitute" once by an aquaintance the first time he saw me wearing my letters, which I did not appreciate AT ALL. I've been rudely asked if any of my sorority sisters would be interested in gangbangs or if they'd want to hook up with random guys just so they can claim that they "fucked a sororiwhore." EXCUSE ME, but my sisters are not sluts, you haven't even talked or met them, thank you very much.
Being Greek is so much more than that stereotype, and there are so many different types of Greek organizations out there--social, pre-professional, academic, multi-cultural, special-interest--and each one has a philanthropy and a mission. You typically need to keep up a certain GPA to stay in a Greek organization--the first fraternity in the USA was Phi Beta Kappa, which is now a Greek Academic Honor Society that only invites juniors and seniors with a 3.8/4.0 cumulative GPA to join.
Wearing letters means you worked to earn them. Nothing worth having ever comes for free, and being part of a sisterhood or brotherhood is a lifetime commitment. I don't decide to wear my letters one day with the intention of exhibiting some questionable behavior that I might regret later on.
I can't speak for every Greek out there, but a significant amount of us do not find it necessary to drink and throw parties all the time to have the "real" Greek experience, nor is being in a Greek organization synonymous with being a slut or a manwhore.
Part of why I wanted to rush and pledge a sorority was because Greek life is a pretty big part of my campus's culture. It's a good way to get involved on campus with events, philanthropies, and with the community both within my university and in the local urban area which has a number of soup kitchens, hospitals, and volunteer organization centers because of the high need. I also knew quite a few people in my sorority already and loved how active it kept them and how close they all were from planning events and fundraisers together. There are over 33,000 undergraduates at my university and my sorority helped me find a niche of like-minded people who were motivated and dedicated to the same causes. I was definitely interested in meeting other Greeks, but that didn't mean I was looking to have sex with any of them.
Maybe this stereotype came from partying with letters on, or the fact that you remember the Greek houses you go to by being able to point out the same letters on the people who walk past you. Because you may not remember the names of the girls you sleep with, but you'll remember the letters on her windbreaker before she took it off. Or from watching The House Bunny, GrΣΣk or National Lampoon's Animal House. Where did your preconceptions come from? (I don't even want to get into the issue of the assumed "intelligence level of sorority girls"--clearly Toni Morrison, Georgia O'Keefe, Condoleeza Rice, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and Carrie Chapman Catt are idiots, right...)
In a college environment raging with booze, independence, and new people everywhere, those aforementioned situations will happen. But don't try to generalize every Greek within this stereotype.
Just because I'm wearing my letters does not mean that I'm DTF.
What do you think of sorority girls and the stereotypes surrounding Greek life?
Are you in a sorority and have encountered similar comments?
In a fraternity? Submit a post with your take on fraternity stereotypes.
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- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
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Comments (25)
i think its accurate. even in my cousins sorority. the stories of hazing, etc. is terrible. even her boyfriend, when he was getting in they almost had to call the cops it was so bad. and most do party every weekend. so. honestly- people show concern for good reasons. people do die from these things.
but i understand it does promote community and close bonds. etc. but at what cost. id be interested in something like that, but not really, i wouldnt fit in since im not interested in partying every weekend and would rather work on projects and relax in more chill, healthy environments. i think its a phase though for some. i already went through mine and have no interest in going back, it was fun, mostly but im over it.
it seems like college gangs where they represent their team and have bitchfit fights with rivals
I never joined one. I didn't have much school spirit and can't really stand most people.
I am a member of sorority that I pledged in college. It provided me alot of academic and social opportunities that didn't involve beer or a ping pong ball. LOL It's all what you make of it and if you find a group of people that align with your interests/personality/values, etc. Of course there were the "typical" hazing/party girl type sororities on campus. Mine was more concerned with academic requirements (had to maintain a 3.5 to be a member) and community service. Eventually I became the president of it and was able to do alot of cool things with my sisters, which I still keep in contact with and still visit and talk to.
I think this stereotype is just like any other: of course there is always some truth in it, but there are always exceptions.
Many organizations haze, let's be serious here. But I think generalizing about ALL Greek organizations is wrong. But if your specific letters elicit a negative response, that's when there might be an issue. Maybe other girls have been making your organization look bad.
The reason stereotypes exist is because people from a specific culture, group, sex, or any other identifier made them exist. These people all acted one way, did one thing, gave off one impression. You can't blame people for thinking this way even if it's wrong because that's the way sororities have come off to people. It sucks, it's not right and if should be changed. However, until it is, you will receive that reaction whether you like it or not. It's not fair, but that's life.
Some sorority girls give their sisters a bad name. Most fraternity and sorority chapters have their share of "sororiwhores" and "bromeisters" so even as a Greek, there's plenty of basis for the stereotype that all we do is chug beers and bang each other on the weekends.
It really sucks that people have such shitty pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a Greek, but it is what is. The best you can do is avoid becoming either a stereotype or statistic, do well for yourself, and succeed. Change starts with those around you.
I go to UW-Madison which is a huge party school so I can relate. I'm not in a sorority myself, but I know people who are. I don't mind some of them like professional ones. They're good for your future and most people in them seem normal. However, my old apartment was on the street where majority of non-professional sorority/frat houses are. THESE are the type of people I classify as typical greek students. I have seen so many bros and sorority girls who wear the EXACT same outfits while walking to class everyday. I know a girl who joined a sorority freshman year and they made a list of guys from this one frat and assigned each girl to sleep with someone. I also know handful of people who I talked to and liked in high school, but I find myself unable to relate to them now. They're all about greek life and seems to only talk about drinking and somehow developed annoying high pitched voice. Some people turned out okay in sorority though. I think it depends on how you were in high school. If you didn't really party in high school, joining a sorority/fraternity might get to your head a little.
Hmmm. I have asked about this before. My question was always, are the movies true? My view of sororities and the like all come from Hollywood, but when I did a little research on them the view your putting across seems to be the rule, rather than the exception.
I imagine the idiots who give your organizations a bad name would be idiots whatever they were in. We have such people over here as well, but usually they are in sports teams instead. Plus halls-life is much the same...
I feel like the stereotypes are pretty accurate, but I sure as hell would never say any of that crap to anybody.
I also don't feel like it's anyone's business who someone else is sleeping with unless they're planning on sleeping with that person, so if someone calls you a slut or says you're going to be boning a bunch of people you should just be like
"You are SO spot on! I'll be sleeping with everyone I meet! Except for you."Ugh, people.
Thank you for this! It drives me crazy that people have a pre-conceived notion of Greek life, and most of those people know nothing of the system. I obviously can't speak for other chapters, but the sorority I am in does NOT haze. It isn't even allowed to call someone a pledge, because it carries bad connotations. Also, our house is dry and most of the girls spend their late nights studying. When girls from the house do go to a party, it is important to behave because you can get into trouble if you don't. Being in a sorority isn't about banging dudes and partying. It is about community service, academics, and an unexplainable bond.
I'm sorry, but I could never shell out money to essentially pay to have friends and do community service.
@xxfl1@xanga - i wonder if you read this post at all...
The reason there is such a huge stereotype is because there are reasons to believe most of them ARE that way. Not all of them are full of skanky girls and jerk-off guys but a good majority are. I've got friends in universities all over the country. I've seen some pretty ridiculous stuff go down by the greeks - stuff that doesn't give them the best reputation. Greek life was created to be motivation to make good grades and be "philanthropic" but unfortunately, things have changes. Now being part of Greek Life mainly means that you want to maintain a certain status in college - being invited to the best parties, getting with the "frat guys" (though, who really finds frat guys desirable, anyway?) and "sorority girls", and generally being a drunken skank. They all tend to dress, look, and act the same way, too. It's creepy.
If you're part of one of the sororities that still focuses on what's important then more power to you. But the judgement from other people are there because of the overwhelming majority that prove the stereotypes to be true.
@hallentine@xanga - no i read the whole thing. she was talking about sluts the whole time and said 'hey im not a slut' but stereotypes were mentioned so i put in my 2 cents.
since the question at the bottom asked about stereotypes... surrounding greek life.
Great post. I do understand that stereotypes exist for a reason, but they're still unfair.
I've always wondered how deeply offended Greeks must be that we use their name so.
this is crap.... i was in a sorority and we were even known for being more of the 'partiers' but NEVER would girls just gangbang a bunch or random guys - gross. plus our sorority would be so against this and they would get in trouble if they did anyway. One of our resons for choosing girls is that we don't want slutty girls and we want ones with class and character. Most of the other sororities at our school are the same way and we all compete for the same girls who are intelligent, well put together, friendly, leaders, pretty, all around good girls! I've met some of my best friends in my sorority and they are the kinds of friends I can call up and cry to when I am having a problem. Several sisters have come to visit me after I graduated and had a major breakup, when no one else was there for me. You joined a sorority for the right reasons and you will find other girls who share the same values as you.
I try not to specifically stereotype sorority girls saying they are all sluts. And frat guys, well any [hopefully single] guy, are always looking to sleep around. However, it is my experience that in general, Greeks think they are better than "non-Greeks".
My brother and sister are both part of the Greek life and neither of them have any stories like this. Most everyone is relatively nice and they've both made a lot of new friends. Also, my siblings don't drink and don't do drugs. There isn't any partying going on at their Greek house, actually.
When I joined my sorority I got all kinds of remarks and "looks" when I went back home to visit. I don't understand why people judge so harshly when they don't know much about what goes on inside the house.
Also, for anyone else who was in a sorority: were you guys not allowed to wear your letters to a party or any non-greek/charity functions at night?
@xososweet06xo@xanga - We absolutely do not wear our letters if we go out to a party; it's considered disrespectful to our letters. Was it like that for you as well?
Sorry, but I don't buy it. Sure, there may be those 2% of sororities / fraternities that really are the nerdy goody-goody types, but we've all been to college and know that the reason for the stereotypes if because they're true. You do also realize that part of why people look down on you for joining a sorority is due to resorting to paying people to be your friends, right?
@BimmerPhile@xanga - I do understand the reasoning behind people saying that I paid for my friends, except I feel like I didn't because my dues were about $80. That's really nothing compared to some absurd amounts other organizations demands, but I guess my sorority is really out of the norm then. I pay for everything at college and I knew if I would be investing
hundreds every semester to be part of an organization, it wasn't worth
it. I've spent more to be in my dance company.
Our dues went towards renting out rooms for our events, paying for speakers to come, planning retreats, insurance fees. But yeah, I get how it can be seen as paying for my friends.
I wasn't in a fraternity, but I knew a lot of people in fraternities and sororities, and none of the sorority girls I knew ever gave off the "let's go to bed" vibe. (Of course, that might be a comment on my (lack of) sex appeal.) As I remember, they were always at least cordial toward me, but I can't ever remember encountering the sex-crazed slut stereotype you mentioned.