Friday, 15 July 2011
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Couples Aren't the Only Ones Who Should Hold Hands!
Something I never understood: the luxury of holding hands is reserved for couples.
Why?
Okay, aside from showing intimacy and togetherness. I get that, really. However, I've run across a couple situations where one person has been afraid to hold the hand of another for fear of giving people the wrong idea, whether it be a crowd of people somewhere, a significant other or even the hand holdee. How did it even become exclusive for romantic displays? It's a little strange, when you start to think about it.
Well, I'm changing this, once and for all.
Over the years I have found that the fastest, most meaningful way to show you've got somebody's back and are showing them some support is by grabbing hold of their hand. The physical contact is almost as reassuring as a hug, but it's much more discrete, portable and dynamic. And, it's not something that happens every day, so it displays caring that's a little deeper and a little more meaningful.
Example 1: Last weekend, I was upset. My best friend had stayed the night, and when he saw me crying, along with hugging and holding me, he held my hand. Reassurance levels went from zero to 100 per cent.
Example 2: On the night of my birthday, I was out with friends at my favourite club. My ex was also there. My friends knew I couldn't relax, and plenty of hugs were exchanged, I was cheered, etc. (I'd just like to pause for a moment here and reiterate that I have the best friends in the world.) My guy friend even posed as a decoy for me so I didn't have to worry about being approached. However, when I was feeling a little less confident, a little more vulnerable, and had to make my way across the room once more, my friend came with me and he held my hand. BAM! Instant comfort.
Like I said, hugs are amazing. Hugs are the best gift you can give anybody. But when you just lack the strength, the energy to return a hug, you need to literally keep moving, you have to give your attention to someone speaking, or any other situation where embracing someone else's body is just not going to work, hand-holding is where it's at.
Join me. When someone you love needs to feel they're not alone or when you're trying to cheer them up, hold their hand. (Okay, I understand if guys don't feel comfortable holding another guy's hand, but work with me here.) It's amazing what physical touching can do for a person's morale.
So, if you're upset and I'm standing beside you in a crowded room, or at work, or I can tell you're just not in the mood to put out enough energy for a full-on hug, I'm likely going to hold your hand. Just to let you know I'm there. And feel free to reach for mine, because I'm in need of comfort more often than I'll ever admit to out loud.
For those of you who have no idea who I am, I hope you'll break this weird barrier with me!How do you feel about holding hands in a platonic sort of way?
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- From: Keeping__Karma@xanga
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Comments (32)
I think "holding hands in a platonic way" is sort of an oxymoron. I think holding hands is something special shared between couples. Of course that's my personal opinion though. If you hold hands with your friends, then it takes away the specialness of holding hands with your significant other. Plus I just wouldn't feel comfortable holding hands with my friends, even my closest friends, it would just feel a bit awkward and weird. Maybe when I was like 13 but being an adult, it just seems like a strange thing to do. A little immature maybe... But that's just me.
Inspirational Books
@_@ there is nothing wrong with other people holding your hand to comfort you or support you. those reasons, plus holding childrens hands and your significant other are great reasons to hold someones hands too.holding someones hand to cross the street... lol. this is the first i ever heard of hand holding being a luxury.
I always hold my friends hands haha. I've never really thought about it before. I do hold my boyfriend's hand more, but there's a few friends that I hold hands with.
I think there is definitely room for platonic hand holding. How about holding hands to cross the street with your kid(s), or giving a hand to help your grandma walk in her old age? I like the friend example, even if you were just friends, I think hand holding offers you a chance to connect on a deeper level.
Sometimes I hold hands with my best friend. Everyone thinks we're lesbians and in love so we find it funny to feed that fire by holding hands. That and we just skip down the street laughing. It's no surprise why people think we're a couple. XD
I don't care who is holding hands and you shouldn't care what others think as long as both people are cool with holding hands and know what it means to them.
Also when my twin sister and I were young our mom made our older brother hold our hands on the way home from school so we couldn't wander away from him.
Myself, besides occasionally holding hands with my best friend (who is a girl) I usually only hold hands with my boyfriend. I'm so used to him being next to me and holding my hand that when we go our separate ways for summer vacation from college I've been to known to accidentally grab the hand of the person standing next to me. I've freaked out my twin sister a couple times accidentally grabbing for her hand. It's hilarious though.
Not a big uhh, platonic hand holder. My friends tend not to be either, but crossing elbows seem to be the 'safe' replacement, so we don't look like a couple out in public.
it creeps me out when someone tries to platonically hold my hand. so, uh, no thanks...
I don't often platonically hold hands. I do with my boyfriend of course. Other than that there are some residents at work that like to hold my hand. I don't see the big deal with holding hands though, platonic or not, although I guess it depends sometimes.
i hold hands, link arms, hug, etc most of my friends, but typically only when i am drunk. me and the boyfriend do that shit alllll the time... duhhh.
you aren't "holding" hands like a couple would when you're walking to some place OR holding hands at the dinner table, but your plastonic friends were holding your hand for the moment of reassurance and comfort. Key word: moment. Plus, they were probably not holding hands with you as your significant other would--fingers intertwined, but a hand over your hand to comfort you at best, instead of continuously holding your hand.
And IF my friend was trying to hold my hand to comfort me--for some reason my fiance is not there to be the comforter--I think they like to assume that I'd be comforted by it. When my girl friends hug me or soothe me when I'm upset, it's fine. But when a guy is holding my hand in his would instantly make me uncomfortable and probably send weird signals. But yeah, that's my opinion anyway.
Holding hands between male friends is quite common outside of the US.
i wouldn't want to hold a guy friend's hand if he was taken
I'm all sorts of ok with holding other peoples hands (as long as I know them) even if they aren't my boyfriend. I do it a lot with my best friends and closer good friends. =D I agree, it's a good way of showing that you've got their back without expressing it. And sometimes it doesn't need to be said, just shown.
I hold hands with my friend all the time
I hold hands with my best girl friend sometime, wouldn't with my best guy friend cuz people already think we're dating -___-
I don't remember holding hands platonically. other than a bf, I'm not the affectionate type with my family or friends. it would cross my comfort zone:D
I'd hold a female friend's hand if I knew she wasn't interested and needed comforting.
As for holding another guy's hand, no.
[I don't know if anyone will understand what I'm talking about but] I prefer the "affectionate hand squeeze" lol
My mom always holds her hand out & when I grab her hand, she'll squeeze it twice (as if to say "I love you" or "hey") and then let go. It definitely doesn't last as long as hand holding, but it's just as affectionate & less awkward (if done correctly). It's the equivalent of guys dapping each other up when something good happens or when they're happy to see each other. My siblings & friends would give me a crazy look if I tried to hold their hands, but the hand squeeze doesn't seem to evoke that same response. lol
I'm also a huge fan of the crossing elbow thing. It's not awkward & it's an easy way to hold the person you love close to you, whether they're a friend, family member or significant other.
Interlocking fingers is romantic, cupping hands is platonic. When I am first starting to date someone, the first time I interlock fingers with them stirs up some butterflies.
I hold hands with my friends! Sometimes it's just nice to clasp hands (or interlock fingers) and swing our arms way up high. My best friend (who is a man) also holds hands with me. It has always been that way.
One of my close guy friends held my hand throughout our mutual close friend's funeral. We both cried really hard, but didn't let go. To this day, I don't think I could have made it through the funeral if we hadn't been holding hands.
and LASTLY, @Lordv16@xanga - This statement is very true.
Yes. I love this post. I think the power of touch is so strong and it's sucks that we don't get to indulge in it when we're not in a relationship. I think hand holding can be platonic and like hugs give that feeling of love and comfort. I wish more people felt like this.
:). I love holding hands - I definitely is a very comforting feeling. Although, I'd only feel comfortable doing this with close friends.
I mostly hug my friends, rather than hold their hands. I don't do it with any of my friends, as I reserve the right of holding hands to the one I'm dating.
Hell no, I'm not holding a male friends hand. No. I'm not holding any of my female friends hands either. It gives off the wrong impression. I don't like hugs either. "You can get all the love you need from a handshake." Just don't touch me unless you are trying to fuck or fight.
I'm pretty touchy feely. If a friend grabs for my hand or goes for a hug I won't stop them, but I usually won't initiate it either, primarily because I just don't know whether or not they're comfortable with it.