Thursday, 14 July 2011

• Tips for Being in a Long Distance Relationship

  
  A long distance relationship, just like any relationship, is always a work in progress. Except the fact that your SO is unavailable to you physically either 50% of the time or more, either because you live in different states, across the oceans from each other or work/school keeps them busy. But the main striving point(s) of an LDR is love and honesty, always.

  I can't say I don't have my breaking points every now and then and bawl my eyes out until they're swollen because I miss my SO, or when I have those hideous green monster moments when he goes to hang with his friends and I'm not there. Or the biggest relationship "no-no"--when you suspect him of maybe cheating on you.

  It's never easy, but it's always worth it if you have trust and love fully invested in the relationship. I've been with my SO for five years now. We lived together for three years until the economy went really bad and we had to go back to living with our parents, mine here in the mainland, and his in Hawaii. So we've endured two years apart, with visits once a year to see each other.

  We talk everyday on the phone, text, and Skype if the internet connection isn't horrible on both our sides. We send gifts and cards to each other as well to let each other know we are thinking of them regardless of our time apart for the time being. LDRs aren't for the faint heart and extremely lonely, so don't jump into one if you only THINK you can handle one.

  My tips for keeping an LDR happy and healthy:

  1. Trust your SO: if they haven't cheated in their past relationships or cheated on you in your dating history. Don't start to falter and let the suspicions eat at you, trust them unless they give you something to start not trusting them.

  2. Patience: This is a hard one considering some LDRs have difficult time differences to get the hang of, waiting for a phone call or text message is difficult especially if you want to know if they are okay or you just want to hear their voice. Don't go blowing up their phone and acting crazy (I'll admit it I've blown up his phone twice). They might of stepped out of the room to take a shower, cook something to eat, or they are working late. Just call them once or twice. If they don't pick up either leave a message or just text them and let it be until they get back to you.

  3. Keep yourself busy: There will be times that you and your SO will be busy with work or school, so don't just hang by your phone or computer eagerly awaiting them. Go out with friends, see a movie, read, write, blog, exercise, etc...

  4. Communicate: A couple I've been friends with for awhile are both extremely busy with school and work. They live three hours away from each other, and they only get to see each other once a month. The one thing that keeps them together is communication, with texts, phone calls, letters, or emails. One thing they told me they always do if they had a busy day and couldn't talk to their SO, is that they call each other at the end of the night to tell them "I love you, I miss you and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

  5. Love investment: In a LDR, you know later on after you're maybe done with school or finished up working at a certain area and can transfer, one of you will be moving closer towards the other. In all LDRs you and your SO make decisions together as to if who moves to whom, and there is always a sacrifice regardless. That's why love has to be invest deeply into your foundation. You might have to move far away from your comfort zone or your SO will have to, or you both move to a place where you both can see each other and still commute to places you want to be around.

  My advice isn't for everyone because someone will always disagree, but is there anyone else out there in LDRs and have other advice to throw out for us long distance runners?

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