Monday, 11 July 2011
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European, Metrosexual, or Gay?
I'm not sure why, but almost every single European my cousin Victoria and I came across appeared, at first glance, to be gay. I'm thinking it had to do with the tightness of their pants, but that wasn't all. There's something extremely attractive about a gay man who knows he looks good. Even more than a straight guy, or even a straight metrosexual, a hot gay guy walks with a certain swagger that says, "I'm hot to both genders and I know it."
While on line at customs, Victoria and I played the "Is he European or American?" game. The two nationalities were fairly easy to distinguish between.
The well-dressed, fo-hawked, super skinny hotties were the Europeans, and the baseball hat sporting, t-shirt, baggy shorts, flip-flop-wearing guys were the Americans. Not necessarily less good looking, just way different.
We were stalking everyone out, listening to hear what languages they spoke to see if we were correct, when we found out that we were wrong about one. Nine out of ten correct, and this guy stumped us. We looked at his tight clothes, his pointed leather shoes, his Louis Vuitton luggage. How could he not be European?
That's when we listened a little more closely. Sure enough, he was talking to someone about his boyfriend.
Victoria looked at me and said, "We were tricked! He's not European, he's gay!"
I find that I am often tricked by guys who I think are straight and turn out to like other guys, and vice versa. I think it has something to do with the fact that almost every guy that I hang out with/am related to is incredibly well-dressed and great looking. The whole "metrosexual" craze has taken over everyone around me and it is constantly clouding my judgement.
I dated a guy, Brian, for a whole month before realizing he was gay, only later to find out from my close gay friend that he had, in fact, hooked up with Brian, too. When I confronted Brian with a "Just tell me if you're gay and we can be friends" comment, his response was that he didn't like labels, and why couldn't he just be Brian (I change all the names of the guys I write about, so if a guy named Brian who I have previously dated is reading this – it is not about you, buddy).
I was once abandoned on a train because I politely asked a guy I was on a second date with if he was gay. I thought it was a simple question with a simple answer. All the signs were there and, honestly, I just didn't want another Brian situation where I got attached and was then left inadvertently burned. He claimed he wasn't, and then said he was completely turned off to me after I asked him that. Completely turned off to me because I asked him that, or because I'm a girl?
Not that all gay guys dress in tight beautiful clothes and have flawless skin, but the ones I'm friends with do. So, when I see a guy who looks that way, I'm really torn. Is he Metro, like my heterosexual guy friends? Or gay like my homosexual guy friends? Who the hell can tell anymore?!
I just had an entire conversation with a coworker of mine who is desperately trying to figure out if the guy who he is trying to hook up with female models is gay or straight. This guy is constantly talking about girls, going out on dates, and making out with beautiful women on street corners. He is also one of the most flamboyant men I have ever met. He is gay. I had originally typed "Trust me, he is gay." But, clearly my gay-dar is broken nowadays because I'm mixing up guys' sexual orientations left and right.
Add crazy-hot, tight-clothes-wearing, swagger-inhabiting, designer sunglass-sporting, Gucci-model-looking Europeans to the mix, and I'm just screwed.
Can you tell if a guy is gay or straight? Have you ever been wrong? Have you ever dated a gay guy and had no idea?
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About the Author
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- From: Jenn
- About Me: I have been on more bad dates than I have fingers and toes to count on -- and I'm only in my early twenties! I laugh when I watch 'Sex & the City,' because I've had so many dysfunctional relationships that they might as well as made me their 5th friend. Even so, I used to love going on dates with different guys (now I only let one guy take me out on dates), eating great food, and talking on the phone until 3AM. I never did get over the idea that a guy should treat a girl like a princess -- even if I've encountered one too many frogs.
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Comments (33)
"I dated a guy, Brian, for a whole month before realizing he was gay, only later to find out from my close gay friend that he had, in fact, hooked up with Brian, too. "
Sure he wasn't just bisexual? If he dated you for a whole month before you "realized he was gay" (as opposed to, "before he told you he was gay"), he probably likes girls at least a bit.
" Completely turned off to me because I asked him that, or because I'm a girl?"
Probably because you asked him. There's a good portion of straight guys who take that kind of question as a hit to their masculinity - and if you were on a date with him, why were you asking anyway?
I'm usually right about whether guys are gay, and I joke that I have a subconscious gaydar for women (9 times out of 10, I find out a woman I think is attractive is gay or bi after the fact). That said, if you're so confused, keep in mind that NOT ALL GAY MEN LOOK THE SAME, and stop trying to judge based on appearance. This might help you a bit.
Haha, you seriously are judging whether someone is gay by their clothes? Christ, I thought that was something only junior-high adolescents did.
Also, don't ever ask a guy you are on a date with if he is gay. Given your obvious poor judgement that is never a good idea.
I don't believe "European" is a nationality. Europe is a continent with many nations.
if a bi or straight guy has an effeminate voice, he loses his appeal. a few well dressed men have caught my attention before. I was checking out one while waiting in line at this lobby gift shop and when he talked to the cashier, his effeminate voice seemed to give the gaydar impression. he might or might not be gay but his voice was a turn off. his outfit was very nice and nothing that I could critique him on because it was too good to be true
'I think it has something to do with the fact that almost every guy that I
hang out with/am related to is incredibly well-dressed and great
looking.'
You really think you're that awesome, huh? Everyone around you is beautiful but the whole rest of the world, including 90-some year old Italian ladies and flight attendants, are ugly! I find this hard to believe.
You strike me as such a close-minded person for categorizing people based on their looks.
And in any case, who cares if they're gay? Not like some dude at the airport is going to date YOU!
I think people rely on stereotypes too much. Also, the European media doesn't push the macho man stereotype like the American media does, that's why you're confused.
you're asking guys you're dating if they're gay? maybe you should stick to asking them if they think you're pretty.
My boyfriend happens to be Norwegian, and I completely understand your thought process -- I thought I was rendered completely hopeless because I thought he was gay. Oh, I am so ignorant.
I don't think you should've asked the guy you were on a date with if he was gay. Probably bruised his masculinity. I have 2 friends who are metrosexual and some people asked me if they were gay. One even gets gay references towards him. He gets really annoyed because it's completely rude for him to be judged based on his clothes. I get annoyed too. Rude stereotype.
@snarkius@xanga - and what do you think she is? certainly not anything more mature than a junior-high adolescent...
maybe they just told you they were gay so they wouldn't have to deal with you
If you asked me that, I'd say yes so I wouldn't have to deal with you.
You should try a little tact in your conversations. You might look less of a self-centered bitch if you do.
After living in Germany for almost two years, I can assure you, not ALL Europeans dress well. Trust me.
Alright. That's it. Jenn must be a troll. There's no way in hell that anyone could be this relentlessly stupid, unkind and entitled.
I bet you turned all your ex-bf's gay.
Where's all her defenders on this post? I woulda thought all those hard acts who loves Jenn's drama would be posting by now, LOL. or I see they finally truly see how disgusting she is judging gays like that?
You really expect a guy to date you after you asked them if they were gay? HAHAHA.
First you ask people if they think you're pretty and now you're asking guys if they're gay based off of middle school reasons.
shake my f'ing head.
also a guy wouldn't have gone on a date with you if he was gay, hurdurdur. he would have been at least bi if not straight.
@anonymous - You'd be surprised. Some gay men like
flaunting the fact that they can get any girl they want to their
straight counterparts, just for bragging rights.
1. You were mistaken about the gay guy because (get ready for this...) superficial stereotypes are not always correct.
2. Why would you ask a guy who is taking you, A GIRL, on a date, if he's gay? Clearly he's interested in girls, and is therefore not gay. Possibly bisexual, or like Brian, doesn't like labels, but not gay. I think you deserved to get dumped, for being so dumb as to not catch the obvious clue- he asked me out- he must like girls- not gay.
3. I thought you had been fired or quit. Damn.
Troll, total jerk, or just needs another decade to grow up? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
I hate you.
You were on a second date and felt like you had some sort of right to ask him if he was gay? I would be offended too. If you're on a DATE, a second one no less, asking this question implies that
A) you think he's some sort of liar
or B) you obviously know he's straight, or at least bi, since you're on a date with him, so it comes off as you trying to critique his actions as not "masculine" or "straight" enough by asking if he's gay.
I mean, can you tell me with a straight face that you would be totally cool with a guy you've been dating being like, "So Jenn... tell me honestly... are you a lesbian? I just need to know, because you've been acting like one."
Jenn's trolling again.
@ForeverLove_xx@xanga - With the European Union around we are technically citizens of Europe, but no one in Europe would agree. Just go into a Football stadium and you would definitely be right. On paper, Jen is right, in reality, you are right.
Jen, just get out right now, and talk to someone without trying to pre-judge them. You might be surprised.
Although I appreciate the theme of this post (that European men are better looking than American men), frankly their sexuality is none of your business. Stop being a pervert.