Sunday, 10 July 2011
I previously had an article that I had posted on Datingish that involved the outcome and consequences for getting married too soon and what people, overall, thought was "too soon." In this article, I included a "sequence of events" to introduce the point I was making that included: "You meet the person of your dreams, you get to know them, you fall in love, you move in together, you get married, you have kids." As with most posts, I had varying comments and thoughts. However, one caught me off gaurd. Someone commented that moving in comes after marriage....
In less than two months, I'm moving three hours away from my hometown into an apartment with my boyfriend. No, we're not married. But is that really that abnormal? I mean, we're in love and we plan to be engaged soon but our wedding won't be for at least one to three years after we finally get engaged. But enough about me. I'm wondering how you'd even get to know someone without living with them.
I've had my boyfriend stay with me days on end and I swear I learned something new, some things I like and others not so much, about him everyday. This is one of the reasons I'm all for moving in with him before we decide to tie the knot. But I couldn't imagine going from living in two seperate houses to marrying him THEN moving in together.
But on the other hand, there's research that proves the person who commented might be on to something. According to Dr. Harley, eighty-five percent of couples who live together pre-marriage end up divorced (you can find this right here http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5025_qa.html). He blames the thought of "Oh yes, things are working out while we're living together right now... and they will in the future. Let's go ahead and get married..." He states that marriage is much more of a commitment unlike in a relationship we're you're living together and that overall, marriage changes everything.
So, out of curiousity...
Is moving in together before marriage a good thing or a bad thing? What are the outcomes of moving in before marriage (for those of you who have done so) vs. moving in after marriage? Would you ever wait until after marriage to move in with someone? Does reading Dr. Harley's post make you think differently at all?