Along with gifts, inside jokes and little secrets, couples will have that one (or two or three) song that they would always associate with their relationship. Whether it is about the actual person or the relationship as a whole, it can be a great thing to share with each other.
Like a scent, those songs can trigger so many memories.
In one relationship, the song wasn't really dedicated, but rather shared during a special time. We both heard it and correlated it with that moment. In another relationship, she dedicated a song to me. I don't remember the song, though.
In my most recent and past relationship, we both dedicated songs to each other. While it seemed great at the time, now that we're no longer together and the relationship ended on bad terms, I really wished I haven't.
Now, every time those particular songs play on my MP3 player or my iTunes, I have to skip it. It really sucks because those were some of my favorite songs by some of my favorite artists. And to have those song tainted by bad relationship memories, I might as well delete them.
And it wasn't just the songs that I dedicated to her, but the songs she dedicated to me; luckily, I don't listen to her genre of music anyways. But, whenever I hear the songs, I either want to turn the station or leave the store. Sometimes, I actually have to sit through the song and try to take my focus off of it. The three songs she dedicated that really strike my nerve are: "Feel Good Drag" by Anberlin, "Love the Way You Lie" by Rihanna and Eminem, and "Perfect" by Hedley. I always catch myself saying, "Ugh..." every time I heard those songs.
I'm not here to sound bitter and say that you shouldn't dedicate songs. I'm just warning you of the consequences and what effects it had on me when her and I broke up. Some people might be unaffected by it. Some might even have to delete their whole music library. Just keep this in consideration when you are thinking about dedicating a song.
Have you dedicated songs to past significant others? How do you feel about those songs now when you hear them? Will you still dedicate songs to future significant others?
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Comments (20)
I have dedicated songs to past significant others, but those are not the ones that bother me. Like you mentioned, I'm only bothered when I hear a song that my significant other dedicated to me. I also skip those songs when they come up on my iTunes. Then when I have to listen to it, the song leaves me with a bitter taste. I will still dedicate songs in the future because it's definitely something simple and thoughtful to show you care. Besides, songs go out of style relatively quickly and you don't have to hear them much after that.
You get over it. It has been almost 3 years since my divorce (from a cheating asshole I was with for 5 1/2 years) and I can listen to "our songs" without feeling anything related to him. I really relied on music to heal from the pain so the songs I listened to then are more emotional for me than "our songs."
the inherent problem is that people need to accept before they start a relationship that one day it's going to end. saves a loooot of difficulty later on.
I usually just write unique poems. I feel that other couples might've dedicated the same song, so it doesn't seem that special. I'm quite possessive and want things that are mine and mine only:D
Oh yeah, definitely know how you feel. Hope you are getting through it day by day.
"Whatever it is" by Zac Brown Band was our song. Two years we've been done and I can't listen to it, but know it by heart. It comes up on Pandora and if I even hear the beginning part I freak out. I hope it goes away! Good luck.
the only exception by paramore!
I write songs for friends who are special people in my life. They cherish the fact that I have written such sweet words for them.
So I Need You by Three Doors Down
Wait For You - Sherwood
I have and still do dedicate songs to people who I care about. While I sometimes look back and feel bitterness, I actually often get that bittersweet nostalgia feeling, because even if we aren't still together, I am often reminded of the good times I had with that person. Maybe that's strange, but I like to remember that my exes weren't all bad. After all, I saw SOMETHING in them at one point, right?
And Learning to Fly by Switchfoot is the song I use for my current relationship. Always makes me think of us.
all my life - k-ci & jojo <3
I took any songs that may have reminded me of past relationships and connected NEW memories to them. So when I hear "Your Guardian Angel" by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, instead of thinking of my last boyfriend, I think of my current boyfriend. Is it sad that this is really easy for me to do?
totally get what you'ree saying...=.=
I know how you feel, skipping the song just to forget things.
"Wouldn't It Be Nice" by Beach Boys was tainted for a while. lol. I made it my ex's ringtone.
A lot of songs from Ne-Yo used to hit me really hard especially "Sexy Love" & "Make It Work" because at the time before my ex and I got together, I told him I really liked the song "Sexy Love", so right then and there he made it my ringtone on his phone. Another reason was because I saw Ne-Yo perform at my school around the time our relationship was getting rocky and every sad song he was singing about I just kept emoting to, lol, but "Make It Work" hit me hardest.
I also couldn't listen to "You Make Me Better" - Fabolus ft. Ne-Yo. (I know, I hated Ne-Yo for a while, haha!)
Luckily I got over it and I can listen to the song by The Beach Boys and Ne-Yo doesn't hurt anymore. But for some reason I still can't listen to "Make It Work" because that song hit waaaay to close to heart.
I have the same problem...
I'm still in love with my ex and he's moved on. We have like... 10 songs that were super important to us. And he used to sing them to me and everything.
What sucks the most, one of the more prominent songs, Everywhere by whats-her-face, plays over the speaker where I work. At least twice while I'm working...
It hurts...
i feel ya, everytime i hear that one certain tune my heart aches all over again. its so hard but i cant stop listening to it.
I love Anberlin.
Anyway, once you really and truly get over her, you start to cherish those times instead of hate them. That happened with me anyway. I would definitely never get back with that guy I was with last year, but I still consider some of the times we had together, and some of the things we shared that remind me of those times, to be great memories. :)
My boyfriend and I share songs back and forth that made each think of the other; and there is one that came on at a special moment for us when we were just starting to date and hadn't kissed yet but both knew we wanted to... (Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not- Thompson Square). it was very sweet, but no, we didn't kiss during the song.
Other than that, I have a playlist of love songs. I'm mushy.