Wednesday, 06 July 2011
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Are You Gonna Be My (Rebound) Girl?
Because I hated the cattiness and drama that often surrounded my group of girl friends, I typically hung out with guys after school and on the weekends. I met one of my core groups of guy friends through my first boyfriend and remained friends with them for years after we broke up.
These guys never had drama, and if they did it was usually some kind of relationship issue, one of those "why is this girl so freakin' psycho?!" kinds of deals. As someone who was always ready to listen and add my two cents to a situation, I heard it all, from "Her parents don't like me!" to "Should I have sex with her?" and even "To shave or not to shave?" Whatever the dilemma, they felt they could always rely on me to give them some advice.
One of my particular friends became emotionally volatile after a bad break up with his girlfriend of a year. No one saw it coming, and she blamed her impromptu break up with him on "not doing as well as she should be doing in school" even though she was in the top 10% of her class. It sounded like a random, lame excuse, and my friend was caught totally offguard. He had never invested so much in a person before he met her.
This was first time after a break up that he started to get clingy towards his other girl friends, me included. Being that I wanted to be a good friend, I stayed on the phone with him while he ranted about her inconsiderateness, sometimes spending three hours in one sitting trying to rationalize that freshly-brewed post relationship angst for him. "This too shall pass!" I always said.
Somehow, he came to the conclusion that there was only one thing he could do to get over her.
After finishing one of his long, angry tirades about his ex, he asked me: "Will you be my rebound?"
"Who do you think I am?! I don't just let people USE me!"
"Please? Please? It's the only way I can move on!"Really?
Really now?
Was he being serious?Of course he was.
He tried to convince me that it would help him in the long run and that I'd be a good friend doing him a favor if I hooked up with him a couple of times, but I steered clear of that disaster and told him absolutely not. Unfortunately he did seek out another girl who was willing to be his rebound girl, and then fooled himself into thinking he was "in love" with her two hook ups later.
Has anyone ever asked you to be a rebound before? If you agreed to it, what was the end result?
If you asked someone to be your rebound, did you really think it would help you get over your ex?
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About the Author
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- From: dangelb
- About Me: My name means "daybreak" and I'm usually awake to watch the sunrise every morning. I'm a college student, obsessive tea drinker, and contemporary dancer. My first love was the piano before I learned how to love people. I love my R.O.B.--Really Outstanding Boyfriend--who gets just as excited as I do over antique books, soft-baked cookies, and Sporcle.
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Comments (21)
If someone asked me to be their rebound, I'd throw them across the room with my epic hulk toss, and see if THEY rebound. Then I'd tell them that I'd consent if they let me do that to them every time we're in public and/or within fifty feet of a brick wall.
That guy-friend of yours sounds like a total spaz.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Yeah he was a little bit of a hot mess before haha but he's MUCH better at handling those things now! (Thank God... haha)
at least he was considerate enough to ask first. some tend to just deceptively use others. if another girl was also in search of a rebound, then they sort of mutually "use" each other as a rebound only to probably keep rebounding with other people, who are in the same predicament.
who the hell asks that question? would of hung up the phone, right then and there.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - LOL
@tomuch2askfor@xanga - Ikr.
I'm not for rebounds.. I'd rather heal on my own 'cause I wouldn't want to hurt someone in the process. I know how it feels to BE a rebound though, it totally sucks. I didn't realize my ex (at the time my bf) wasn't over his ex when we were dating 'cause he would pretend he was but his actions didn't show a few months into the relationship, but by then, I already developped deeper feelings for him:(((
@lforletty@xanga - yeah it DOES suck to be a rebound, but if we really think about it, were all a rebound to some effect. The thing is you just dont ASK the person to be your rebound. its not even cool.
I'm sorry to hear that you got hurt, your beautiful, theres plenty of people who would be lucky to have you.
=________________________=
what a fucktard. usually you don't ASK someone to be rebound, they just are! obviously he knows what he's doing... he'll never be happy.
That is the strangest question ever! They usually just make you the rebound, not ask. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. -.-
One of my guy friends tried using me as a rebound before. He said oh no, I actually like you and blah blah blah but I knew his head wasn't clear so I declined each time he tried to get intimate. Now, he's back with the girl (which IMO was STUPID) he agrees that he was probably trying to use me as a rebound.
Oh I'm so smart. :)
I was a rebound girl but it was unknown until I figured it out, but I dropped him so fast. That is a odd question!
Well emotions are prone to creating irrationality in even the cleverest of people....
I've never asked anyone to be my rebound or vice versa - but I did jump into a relationship right after I loss someone important to me. I guess "unintentionally" he was my rebound at that time.
one of my best guy friends asked me if I wanted to help him out.
of course I said yes. then he got drunk and i had to drive him home. when we got there, he tried to kiss me until i threw his drunk ass on the floor and yelled, "what the hell dude!!!!!!!!!"
his roommates all ran out, they know me and i was yelling pretty loudly, asking what happened.
then my best guy friend says weakly, "she said she would be my rebound!!!!!"
I punched him in the sack, asked his roommates to drag his butt into his room and drove myself home. next day, he apologized and said he misunderstood me because in his head, our conversation was like this: "would you help me get over my skanky ex? would you sleep with me? would you help me get over her?" me: "yes, of course." then in his HEAD we had this elaborate list of YES you may kiss me but NO you may not do this and that...
my response was not "awwww, why didn't you say so?" but rather, another close encounter to my knee into his sack. he was on a time out for at least 3 months of no communication and all the other guys knew about the situation. NEVER ASK a tall girl with long limbs to be your rebound girl, esp if she's one of the "crew" and she knows how to punch/kick you in the nuts to show her answer.
GUYS are stupid sometimes, esp. when they think they can trust you. I don't get how TRUST = RESPECT and how that would someone lead to your friend asking you to be the rebound girl, but hey, at lease he ASKED when he was SOBER.
never directly. and they always end up being more toxic than anything else.
@tomuch2askfor@xanga - I agree, and thank you:)!!
I play your role for a lot of my girls. Although none of them have ever asked me to be their "rebound" I still wouldn't do it for the sake of complicating relationships with them. I constantly go back to that "When Harry Met Sally" line about how boys and girls can't be friends sometimes: these are some of the reasons that would hurt that. (naturally I think boys and girls can be, as long as you set boundaries and communicate effectively, it can happen).
So here's to you making the right choice. Best of luck with this friend.
Don't do it!!! :(
I'm glad you're not a hussy! :) You are smart for not accpeting to be a rebound!
Atleast he asked first. I know people who just use others in a manipulative way. You guys may have a chance to preserve your friendship. In a way, every new relationship is a rebound, signaling your desire to show that you are ready to move forward.