Monday, 04 July 2011

• Failed Attempts at Sex Appeal

  

  Sex sells. There will always be a fervant consumer fanbase that likes to hear about sex in music and look at sex-ridden perfume/cologne ads in magazines. Throw in ten seconds of a movie's sex scene into a preview and people will want to not only watch it again, but be willing to pay $10 to go see the action on the big screen.

  But there are also some things I hear or see, and think, "what a sex appeal FAIL on their part!"

  Exhibit A:
  Burger King's Super Seven Incher

  

  I'm a vegetarian and don't like fast food anyway, and this advertisement from Burger King definitely won't entice me to go to cross over to the dark side. Besides the right hand corner's "It just tastes better" (from what I remember fast food just all tastes the same in its greasy "goodness"), the woman's red-lipped, gaping open mouth and I-can't-believe-it's-THAT-big eyes and the fact that it's seven inches (do any of you guys feel threatened?), I really felt the ad went overboard with its too-obvious innuendo of "BLOW" in huge white letters. If I was a carnivore, that would turn my craving off for this sandwich so quickly. Also, I KNOW if I saw this as a little kid, I'd definitely be like, "Mommy, how does a sandwich blow your mind away?" Harhar. Too much going on there. 

  Exhibit B:
  Shick HYDRO Commercial

  I feel like getting splashed in the face with that much water as you get into bed looks painful and would be a turn off to me. Get wet naturally in bed! You don't need all that water in the way, unless you're into that water torture stuff (nor does it remind me of female ejaculations). Definitely looked like a "wtf?!" moment to me.

  Exhibit C:
  Bice "Bread is Life" advertisement

  

  Bread is life = penis is life? Penis can make new life? Alright, maybe my mind is entirely in the gutter. But I don't want to eat bread that screams penis! at me.

  Exhibit D:
  Katy Perry ft. Kanye West, "E.T."

  I really do like Katy Perry, but I felt incredibly awkward watching her video for "E.T." starting at about 3:20.
  
  And then Kanye jumps in with the verse in the song that always makes me cringe a bit:
  
  I know a bar out in Mars
  Where they driving spaceships instead of cars
  Cop a Prada spacesuit about the stars
  Getting stupid ass straight out the jar
  Pockets on Shrek, Rockets on deck
  Tell me what’s next, alien sex
  I’ma disrobe you, than I’mma probe you
  See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do
  I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do

  First of all, NO, NO alien sex, kthxbye. And I don't want to be told what to do by someone who's not from earth... the end of the video kind of skeeves me out a bit because Katy Perry's character revives the "alien" near that probing line and I can't even tell if she's human or not at that point, but if it was supposed to be something extremely sensual, I was really weirded out instead.
  

  Exhibit E:
  Baby Carrots from Bunch of Carrot Farmers

  I don't really have words for this one. Were their carrots just not selling before or something? 

  Have you ever seen/heard a valiant but failed attempt at sex-appeal in the media? Do you think the producers of these videos and advertisements intend for these to be awkward for the viewer? Would you buy those carrots in the last ad?
  

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