Sunday, 03 July 2011
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The Condom Chronicle
Last night, my friend Quinn told me the story of the first time she had sex. It occurred towards the beginning of our senior year of high school several years ago, but she waited to tell our friends the story because she found it embarrassing. In hind sight, she realized it was actually just funny.She and the guy she had been hooking up with, Mikey, were fooling around in his room when they decided to lose their virginities to each other. He put on the condom he had and said, "Um, is this how it's supposed to feel?"
"I don't know. What's it feel like?"
"It... it kind of hurts. I think it's too small."
They looked at each other in bewilderment. Apparently, Mikey was pretty well hung. He was right, the condom was too small. So, together they tried to take it off. It was so tight that they couldn't get the condom back off without it hurting him. They had to snip it off.
After what seemed like a traumatizing experience, Quinn went to CVS with her friend to pick out new condoms for Mikey. She bought a pack of Magnums, hoping this time they would fit. The next day in school, she walked by his locker and threw the box at him.
That night, back in Mikey's room, they tried again. This time, it fit, and I'm sure they had a pretty rockin' time.
What was your first time like? Did you have any unexpected obstacles like Mikey and Quinn?
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About the Author
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- From: TheDailyDane
- About Me: I'm Dane and I'm 21. Follow me on Twitter @danefeldman. I am a huge supporter of long-term relationships. What's the fun in knowing something will end in a week? Stick around for some long-term bloggin'.
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Comments (40)
Lesson #1: Make sure you're not allergic to latex before you ask your boyfriend to wear a condom. It's an awkward moment when you have to explain that your vagina is burning and you have no idea why.
My first time sucked. I felt pressured to have sex, so I just pretend it didn't happen and my current boyfriend is my first.
thats hilarious. my first time was rockin. i looked for my ideal sexual partner and found him and it was the most romantic, beautiful hot fun entertaining thing ever. great memories with him.
Right before my first time the trailer for Juno came on. I was so freaked out that it was a sign that I was going to get pregnant haha. We still ended up having awesome sex and I didn't get pregnant.
@sugarandlemonade@xanga - that's exactly how i felt!
My first time was sans-condom because I'd been tracking my cycles for a few years already and while I was straddling and kissing him, decided to be sporadic (I assume he hadn't been sexually active in a little while, and I was a virgin so neither of us really thought to have condoms on hand while we were just fooling around initially) since I wasn't fertile at that point. I asked him if he was alright pulling out, but that's only a reality for 1-2 weeks a month. But it was good times, and continues to be.
The boy was pretty experienced so he already knew that he needed Magnums, thankfully. He didn't say it was because of pain, but he knew that they'd break... so I'm glad he learned that before we started having sex.
@JEDIJESSICUH@xanga - My thoughts exactly. lol
My first time is going to be my wedding night.
My first time was okay. It was on the fourth of july, actually... so exactly three? years ago...
My fiance now, who is not the same person, needs XL Magnums. Our first time was without a condom because I was on the Depo Provera shot. Now we hardly ever go without one, and I use birth control pills.
TMI...
It was the first sexual activity for either of us. It turned out that my gf was allergic to non-oxynol 9, so she got all itchy. But we didn't determine that, until a few times of usage. When removing the condom, I was always fearful of semen leaking out.
idk, but the sad face and earmuffs in your profile pic is adorable.
@sunflowersforlove@xanga - That's exactly what happened to me O_o;
my first time definitely did not go as planned. lol. in fact it was traumatizing and hilarious. we hadnt planned on going all the way (we were both virgins) so we didnt have a condom. i laid on the floor and waited for him to go inside and well.... he couldnt get in. he pushed and pushed and pushed.... no door was opening. so we stopped then decided ok lets try again. he finally shoved his way in and it hurt like a bitch. he pushed harder to get in more and ya... we didnt have a condom and he feared coming so he pulled out. no one came. bUT the traumatizing event happened when i got up finally and experienced my first queef. not just one but a few. i guess all that pushing and trying to get in helped trap air and tadaa i felt so sexy. lol. i was mortified not knowing wtf was that and his hysterical laughter then causing me to laugh hysterically too. agh.... not what i expected but ya, its a memory. lol
the first time was like getting over a hump - no pun intended - it was the times that followed that were fin awesome! ^^ i think i've become a bit of a nymph because of my first actually... hehe
Haha, I had a similar experience my first time.
Senior year in high school I had been seeing a girl for about two weeks and we decided to lose our virginity to one another (she initiated it). We're fooling around and she hands me a condom; also I made the brilliant move of not having any so apparently she had been planning this. I take it out, put it on, and it hurts. Not to the degree of your friend, but it felt like it was cutting off the circulation to my junk; luckily I didn't have to "snip it off". The next day we went to CVS, got some new stuff, and had a laugh about it. All in all a somewhat traumatizing experience but funny nonetheless.
My ex was a little TOO well hung. Needless to say, first time sucked. In fact, all sex sucked for me until I met my current boyfriend. He 'broke me in' so to speak. First time, I'll always remember. I did it not because I really wanted to, but because my boyfriend at the time was way more experienced & I felt like I wasn't doing a good job of being his girlfriend since I was so inexperienced. It was painful. I remember just wanting to get it over with, so we could work up to getting used to it & actually enjoy sex. Now when I look back, he probably wouldn't be able to handle me if we ever hooked up again ;)
@sugarandlemonade@xanga - i like how you put that!
My first time wasn't anything special. It was okay. Usually the first time does suck...
According to every statistic I've found, only 5% of the male population needs more room than standard condoms...according to this discussion, 80% of males need XL Magnums. Yay internet discussions.
My first time, was in a bathroom with an audience. It started on my future ex gf's bed. She kicked us out of her room. It was pretty much awesomeness. And to throw in my dick-is-huge comment: I don't need the xl's but the golden ticket is the only way I'll fly.
i could care less about my first time, i didnt care so much about loseing my virginity it freaked out my bf at the time and he kept asking if i was ok.
Oh, it was great. We didn't use a condom, it hurt like hell and I forgot my pill. Probably the highlight of my summer, hah.
Seriously, we had to refer to the 'incident' as breaking down the brick wall. Brick wall being my angry hymen/vagina situation. Maybe TMI, but it took several "sessions" before you could even call it sex. I'm telling ya, it was an inch at a time. I'm glad I never have to deal with it again. But we're still together 2 years later!
When I think back to it now, I think I only did it because I wanted to impress my boyfriend of the time. It happened sophomore year of high school.
We were in my basement and he was on the couch. I got on top and we couldn't figure out if it went in or not. He reached around and checked and half was in. But, I was scared someone was gonna go downstairs. So, I got dressed and he didn't know what to do with the condom. He found an empty coke can and shoved the used condom in it. The second time was better.