Sunday, 03 July 2011
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Ouch! My Pride
In the vein of rejection, here is a story from my personal dating archives:
The other day I received a most unexpected email from Peter Smartbottom, on whom I’ve had a crush for approximately five years. The email said in so many words that he had learned I was in town and that we should grab a pint or go rock climbing sometime. I wittily responded that rock climbing could be nice, but that perhaps we should have a beer and a conversation before I let him belay me.
The plan was made on Tuesday and by Friday evening I was all aflutter. He called at the last minute from a payphone to change the venue to Barfly, where I met him at 930. From there we walked north, declined to watch a show at Divan Orange for $10, continued north, realized I’d left my fleece somewhere further south, recovered the fleece from Divan Orange, and walked further south, where we finally settled at Biftec.
I talked while we walked, about all kinds of things he didn’t need to know, such as my recent realization that I am thoroughly done with the David Sabretooth saga, and despite my earlier resolution to do more listening than talking. At Biftec Peter told me that he was about to see the girl whose heart he had broken, for the first time in a year, after reading the epic email she had written him, and that he thought he was still in love with her. I took this in stride, and invited him to my roommate’s friend’s house party after we had finished two pitchers. He accepted.
The party was fine. I drew cat whiskers on the face of the host who had passed out in his bed with his shoes on while the party still going strong. Then we were outside, surrounded by loitering party-goers, and I said: “I want to kiss you BUT.” I don’t remember the words that followed - something about how impossible it would be - but they succeeded in making him balk and walk away, down the street, resolutely.
I thought at first that he would reach the end of the block and then turn around and walk back. This did not happen. He reached the intersection, turned left, and kept walking. Suddenly recalling that he didn’t have a cell phone, I ran after him for a dramatic confrontation not once – but, after I had told him how much I liked him and he had thoroughly dispensed with any illusion that there was some undeniable romantic tension between us – twice. Then we got into separate cabs, drove off in different directions, and we haven’t spoken since.
As if the whole episode weren’t mortifying enough, I was wearing that damned red jacket, so I probably looked like a total crazy person running after him TWO TIMES at two ‘o clock in the morning. I’ve never felt so rejected and at the same time so RIDICULOUS because I KNEW HE WAS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. Another me would have just kissed him and seen how it went, but I had to go and SAY something loaded with implicit meaning and EXPECT that he would reciprocate and it would be the kind of epic lead-up moment worthy of the best bad rom-com.Sigh. I really should be muzzled.
Ouch! My pride! Do you dare share a true story of rejection?
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About the Author
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- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
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Comments (24)
The guy already told you in the beginning he was in love with somone else, so it was stupid of you to ask to kiss him in the first place.
Usually, it would just end up with the girl telling me that they just want to be friends or they don't want to ruin the friendship. Nothing big like yours.
yup, put myself out there for the guy (albeit lamely, through the internet), gave my number and tried to leave it open and friendly, and he shut me out and ended up running off...with another guy. hurts quite a bit.
I haven't been rejected before like that.. but I've been through bad break-ups.
Oh god, this guy asked me on a date - we had been friends for a while and he'd dated one of my other friends but she was in Europe so there was no chance of any weirdness from her.
Our date went really well, I THOUGHT, and I asked him to sleep over. I was NOT going to have sex with him, I just wanted a slumber party okay, I wanted some cuddles, I was lonely. Anyway, he totally slept over...ON THE COUCH. And believe me, I was very explicit like "Hey, would you like to sleep over and cuddle with me?" I don't even know where I got the balls to be like that.And then I never heard from him again. So. awkward. God it's making me feel embarrassed again just thinking about it.
Did you have a few drinks before you went after him? That has messed with my judgement countless times, especially the times that I've made an ass out of myself.
One time that it happened to me was with my good friend's coworker, Dan. He and I had been flirting all night and it seemed like we were really into each other but I got really, really drunk that night. We all went back to his place and I laid in his bed and practically threw myself at him. He had only had one beer and declined because he said that although he liked me, that was the wrong way to go about having our first sexual encounter. I think he was actually disgusted by how easy I seemed and I never heard from him again. I wasn't easy at all but at the time I figured that since he was such a good guy and we had really hit it off, we'd have a future together even if we did sleep together that night. Uuugghhhh, not so good memories and a lot of lessons learned.
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Loved this article! Full of humor and honesty! Thanks for sharing it, I will look forward to reading more of your posts in the future!
Love Is Hurt x
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Thanks.
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my love spell is now working. my ex texted me yesterday to tell me that it was over with his new girlfriend. i'm happy he realized she wasnt good for him at all. i missed him so, so much!!! and i am happy he is back now with me, i have total faith and respect in the spell
dr_k_healer_of.all_brokenheart@solution4u.com did for me