Saturday, 02 July 2011
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The Sex Talk
Sex and parents: two things a child never wants to imagine anywhere close to each other. But your existence is proof that it happened, probably more than once and with great enthusiasm, and this truth, while tolerable in its implicit form, is made excruciating as soon as you hit a certain age and your parents decide to go public with it. It happens at different ages and in different translations for everyone, but it is invariably awkward in all its forms. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I'm talking about the Sex Talk.Personally, though, I never got a sex talk. My parents left my education up to a combination of school, peers and television, and I was sure glad they did. But now that I'm older I kind of wish I had a super-embarrassing conversation to reflect upon, full of false metaphors about different species that fly or something. Would they have gone on about birds or bees or love or any of the strange ways that parents try to make an adult subject accessible to a child, or would they have gone straight to the anatomy book?
Did you ever receive a Sex Talk? What strategy did your parents use? Was it totally awful or at least a little funny? How did it influence your view of sexuality?
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- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
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Comments (21)
My mom talked about the birds and the bees with me as a kid. She came from a fairly conservative background and she didn't want me to grow up as ignorant as she did. As soon as I was old enough to more or less understand, we watched some animal show on tv with monkeys engaging in wild monkey love (mating). She said that's how monkeys and humans made babies. That was my very first introduction to the sex talk. Later on, my mom proceeded to show me a book called The Joy of Sex. lol! I thought it was funny seeing illustrations of couples having sex. Looking back on it, I realize my mom went a bit overboard, but she meant well. She wanted me to grow up with a healthy sense of self regarding sex and I'm grateful that she did.
My dad never gave me the sex talk and neither did my school. I had to learn about sex from an anatomy textbook by myself, so sex is not necessarily something I look forward to since I only know it as a disgusting anatomical process. I always tried to pry the talk out of my dad, but he always either changed the subject or told me he was "working on it." At some point I just gave up and told myself I'd have to read about it by myself. I'm still angry at him (and my school) because I know I don't regard sex the way I should.
My mom gave me the sex talk when I was about 10 or 11. After she explained things once, in a serious manner, she consistantly continued to bring it up as I got older in a more "relaxed" and funny manner. She'll make a sex joke in front of anybody but she knew when to buckle down and act serious about it. As a woman now, looking back on this, I feel this was the best way to go about it. She taught me not to "fear" my sexuality while being safe about sex practices.
The other day, after me and my fiance announced our engagement, my parents asked us if we were "sexually active". Hahaha. As awkward as it would/could have been, it was awkward at all. d:
my parents never said anything. they don't know what the pill that I take is, either
My parents, like yours, left it up to Health Education at school. Although, I had a very awkward talk with my dad explaining to me what a period was just because a tampon commercial played on tv.
My parents were very blunt with the "Sex Talk". I didn't really find it weird at all. I asked what most kids ask, "Where do babies come from?" and my mom explained to me. Then when I was nine I got my period and I asked why girls get it. My mom said it was the lining of the uterus to get ready for a baby. Naturally, more questions followed like "How is a baby made?" and she answered them. The only thing I would have probably been uncomfortable with is if dad talked to me about it.
I never got the sex talk and my parents hoped no one would ever give it to me. They were all for whatever health education taught me as long as it was "don't have sex until you're married". Pretty sure my father was too drunk to ever think about me doing the dirty with anyone and my step-mom was a huge christian, so she wouldn't have given it to me unless God pressed upon her to do so - He didn't.
they kinda explained it saying to wait til marriage and such, and how it results in babies and stds.well my mom talked to me about it, i can't imagine my dad giving me the talk. but yea, she gave me the talk when i learned about it in 7th grade through a science book. i didn't really understand it then. and in 8th grade i learned about it in school and the birth control methods and such. and in high school parents were saying mosty to wait for sex and not use the birth control pills and make the guy wear a condom if i ever do have sex. mostly, i learned about sex through school and friends. i found it a bit more helpful and less awkward.
Dude my mom and I talked about it like it was no big deal. I always get confused when people talk about how awkward it was. I still go up to my mom and ask her questions about sex and I'm 21. I'd rather hear it from someone whose been through it then one of my friends who like to pretend they know everything. My mom never even gave me the wait till marriage speech. She was basically like, 'one day you're going to have sex and I want you to know what it is, etc' and when I was 15 or 16 she put me on birth control mostly because of cramps, but also just in case. I'm definitely going to be like my mom when it comes time to have the talk with my hypothetical kids.
I wish my parents told me some stuff about it. I remember asking my mom what a wet dream was, I forget how old I was, and she wouldn't tell me. I then asked everyone at school. I also remember seeing a commercial that was telling kids to wait to have sex, and I asked my mom what sex was and she wouldn't tell me. And I asked her, well, if I don't know what it is, how can I not do it?
I kind of think it would have been better in the long run if they told me about stuff like that and I could have talked to my mom about stuff like birth control and sex. I always wished that she would have told me.
learned sex through porn
I totally taught myself everything.
I was 8 and had internet access.
And health class in 7th grade taught about the pill and other forms of protection.
I'm glad I didn't have the talk with my parents. I liked it better finding things out on my own.
Plus, whenever I asked where babies come from, dad said the stork, and mom said the baby fairy. So I knew they were lying. haha.
My mother talked to me about it. It really wasn't so bad. Sex after all is a human natural function.
@NuclearSyndrome@xanga - My parents were very blunt too and I don't know about you, but I'm glad they were. I can't imagine having to learn everything on my own or being completely clueless. My parents were very open and very helpful without being creepy, they wanted to make sure I was educated so that I would have safe sex when I was ready.... and it worked... there are so many babies having babies and I'm not one of them. I wish more parents handled this like ours.
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My Mom gave me the sex talk & continued to hassle me asking me if I had sex yet, especially when I got a serious boyfriend. She wanted me to tell her before I plan on having sex for the fact that she wanted me to get on birth control, and that's what I did. Told her I wanted to go & get birth control... a month later, I lost my virginity.
my parents just relied on the education/peer talking system/give you a random book on adolescence system. I think all parents *should* have a talk with their kids though to make sure that they really understand everything they are supposed to be learning- and this is especially important in the instances where education is lacking, as it is in many places. Sex education doesn't need to be some cutesy metaphor or a super awkward fumbling exchange; it isn't in the Netherlands! Their approach to kids and sex ed is very different, they expect and equip their kids to make responsible decisions and don't make sex a "no-no" thing. And no surprise, their teen pregnancy and std rates are some of the lowest in the world.
I also wish parents would clue girls in on masturbation. It seems like all guys sort of know what's up by the time they're a teen, it's part of what they talk about or their dad tells them or they hear about on tv, but for girls it is sometimes such a strange concept that they aren't even aware it's a possibility! Way too many women never think to pleasure themselves until college-age or even later. It is unfortunate that girls are too often taught that their sexuality is not their own, but only something they can receive at the hands of a boy.
Nah my parents didn't.
I kind of wish my parents had this talk with me. I just checked out "grown up" books in the library when I was 10 because my mom would not tell me where babies came from. Well, I got a little more information than I was looking for at the time, but I'm glad I know the stuff now.
My mom never embarrassed me with a sex talk. Instead, she made it clear that if I had any questions, I could come to her on my own time, when I was comfortable with it.
And I couldn't be more grateful.