quite frankly, i dont want to know who he did, how, when or any of that. as long as he is STD free, that is all i want  to know in regards to any past sexual activities. i dont want to hear how great his ex gave him head or how wild this one girl was in bed. no thanks. just me, him, our std free bodies tangled together is all.

Of course it is important to a point, not incredible detail of course. I've told my bf about my old relationships (even though hardly nothing was done) and he has too. It's just good honesty and trust especially regarding health.

Wow! This so closely resembles what me and my boyfriend had to deal with.

His ex-girlfriend, who I was friends (not really friends, just lunch buddies)with in highschool was dating my now current boyfriend. She would go into every detail too, but luckily, a lot of it I didn't bother listening to (who really cares about someone else's boyfriend that you don't even know?). When they broke up (she left him for another dude) I felt it was fair game to date him. And so I did. But I had to deal with what I did remember hearing about their relationship. And let me tell you, its still a hard pill for me to sometimes swallow.

But, like you said, you just gotta remember you guys started new and the past is the past. There's really not much more you can do about it. The more you pay attention to it, the more its going to cause problems.

@Hermeown@xanga - I know this question wasn't directed towards me, but I would still like to answer it.

My boyfriend has only slept with one other girl besides me, and I too wish his count was higher. Knowing that he slept with only one other person, I can't help but be insecure about it from time to time. It's hard to accept that she was his first, and that besides me, he's only been with her. If he had slept with a few other girls I feel like I would feel better about it because I wouldn't have to compare myself to one specific girl. Of course I wouldn't be thrilled if he slept with 30+ girls, but then again that could be a good thing too. Because if he did have those meaningless hook-ups it would be comforting to know I was special enough to make a long term commitment with. I'm probably not make any sense lol oh well.

@reesa14@xanga - Does knowing all that stuff still kind of affect you now? I thought it would bother me forever, but the more comfortable I got in my relationship the better it became and everything she ever said stopped coming back to me every time we were having an intimate moment. I do understand what you're saying because that was the case with me, but now it really doesn't matter years into our relationship because we created our own relationship. I think it also really affected me before because I was once really close (best friends close, I guess) with the girl he dated before me.

i had a similar situation with finding out things with my guy's past.  i did not like it one bit.  he voluntarily told me, i didn't ask. 

one of my friends who i used to have a little crush on told me he had kinda hooked up with one of my other used to be friends while he met her out randomly. i don't ever see myself doing anything with him, especially now, but it's good to know that he hooked up with my friend because i don't do guys that hook up with my "friends."  it's good to know what guys have been with my friends. 

i can't stand one of my friends because she would hook up with almost every one of my guy friends if she could.  in fact, she even introduced herself as she knows my friend she hooked up with randomly because of me.  and that pissed me the fuck off hearing that she's still doing shit like that which is why i stopped being friends with her in the first place.  she's also going on about being head over heals with this one other guy, yet she goes and makes out with other guys behind his back.  i could never do that to someone if i really, really, really liked them.  my friend she hooked up with and was leading on was telling me about her and i was disappointed. 

with my guy, tho, i had hooked up with him a few weeks after started talking to him, and that's when he shared me who he had been with in the past, but because it was so long ago, i tried not to let it bother me.  i wish i had knew before i done anything with him and now we have been hanging out for almost 2 years bc we've become good friends, too, and the past doesn't matter anymore.

@dangelb - Actually, it was kind of the opposite for me. When I first started dating my boyfriend, all that stuff with his ex rarely bothered me at all. But once I fell in love with him it started to all become really hard.
I'm glad though that you started to worry about it less. There's really no need to worry about it in the first place. We're the number 1's :).

@Hermeown@xanga - I understand where you're coming from too. I also believe it demonstrates commitment as well, so I feel like there's benefits to both sides.

I asked my fiance how many. He gave me a ball park "in between numbers" and I thought he editted or gave me a ball park because he knew how upset I would be if I had know the ACTUAL number.

He didn't and does not ever want to know how many, although in my drunk-ass moments, I'm sure I had blurted it out a couple of times when he would argue that he's a "smooth player" (also drunk) when we argue about stupid things and end up as something BIGGER.

But then, he lost his innocent virginity at the age where I was beating up boys who picked on my brother and played Hide-n-seek in the trees with my friends at twilight so there you go...Catholics..pssssh

So I asked. He said he's not going to answer me. And it took me a long time to realize that it's 1000 times better that I don't know the details than if I had, I'd be hurt anbd feeling stupid, even guilty for prying, but because my never-ending chatter-thinking box would compare, analyze, and theorize if he ever compared me with no. what's her face, and if i did anything that reminded him of no. what's her name again, and blah blah to a point where I would go MAD!!!!