Wednesday, 29 June 2011

  • I Fell For Someone Who Placed Me in the Friend Zone


    The truth is, I don't even know who I am anymore. It's been nearly four months since I've stopped "dating" this guy, and I still can't get over him. I've had multiple "flings" and only one serious relationship, and I've never been so hung up on one person before it's almost pathetic.

    It started in the summer, and honestly, I only saw it as a "summer fling." I thought we'd be over each other in a month or so, and then part our separate ways. But instead, we hung out more, talked more, and I practically fell head over heels. Of course I thought everything was going great, then midterms came, and then work, then my violin, and before I knew it, we weren't even talking anymore.

    Winter rolled around and we talked here and there, but deep down, I fantasized about some romantic way of how he would ask me to be his girlfriend (Yes, I know I live a non-existent world). Little did I know, he would do the exact opposite. Instead of telling me in person, he said he only wanted to be friends through a text message.

    I was pretty bitter at first, but I learned to get over it. So he wanted to be "just friends," that definitely took quite a bit of getting used to. I still saw him once a week, but we never talked. Instead, he would send me cute text messages saying how nice I looked, or saying something that would make me laugh. On top of that, he would comment almost everything I had on Facebook, which flustered me even more because I was still trying to get over him!

    Have you ever found yourself in the friend zone? Have you or would you ever string along someone that was just a friend?

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Comments (12)

  • xxfl1@xanga

    im always super frank with people because ive been strung along.

    lol. turns out- he was gay. maybe hes gay? lol.

    either way i get where you're coming from, super lame.
  • bmillerssailor@xanga

    In my younger days, I had been strung and I had been the stringer... if that makes sense?
    I got strung along once by some guy I really liked. He had a girlfriend and I knew he couldn't be with me, but he would call me every night and send me flirty text messages. I liked him so much and he would tell me how over his girlfriend he was and that he didn't know what to do. I'd always think he would be trying to leave her for me but he never did. And every time I would feel guilty for helping him... well... emotionally cheat on his girlfriend, he talk me into staying around. It was no fun.

    I have strung some guys along, too. At first I wouldn't think it was on purpose and then I would realize that I wasn't being fair because I knew I didn't really like them. I just liked the comfort of having someone around to talk to and to stroke my ego when I needed it. Pretty selfish on my part.

    Either way, if he wants to only be friends then go find someone else. I know it's hard but there is no reason being hung up on someone who is obviously flaky with you. If he wants you, then you'll have an easier time getting him to come around if you try to move on. Guys (well, MOST guys) naturally want what is a "challenge" to them.
  • wyrdkismet@xanga

    just from this sounds like he likes the attention he's getting from you, but not commitment. ik it's not something anyone really wants to hear, but it's best to find some way you won't have to see his msgs all the time and just move on to someone who's worth it and will treat you the way you should be.

  • P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga

    a few years ago, some guy liked me a lot, but I told him that I already liked someone else, yet he wouldn't take no for an answer since he saw it as a challenge to win me over. I would talk to him all about the guy that I was actually in love with but he didn't seem to take a hint and persisted. I wouldn't say that I was leading him on but he was willingly chasing me, so I liked how two guys were competing for me, although it wasn't really a competition because I liked my original guy way more and I sort of liked him, too, but it was more of as friends:D he was fun to talk to, so I wanted him to get over me, and we could be friends, yet it wouldn't really work out if he has more than friends feelings for me. I don't talk to either guys anymore. I have a new guy:P
  • laytexduckie@xanga

    Well, I get friend zoned a lot. But probably because I don't always come out and say that I like them (since I don't want to appear so clingy and such). Well, maybe that's my problem...
  • Footballblogs@xanga

    He doesn't talk to you... But he texts you and Facebook's you? Maybe that is his definition of a friend :P Check with his other friends and see if he talks to them. If not, then he is SUPER embarrassed about your past fling to the point he can't get words out, or he likes to delude himself into thinking you care about him, so he must be hot stuff. Either way, be calm and carry on, and continue to get over him. Maybe he will come around, maybe not. Get it out of your head, and if you are younger than 21 take your age into account. This happens all the time when everyone is young. Take note of that, and use it too help you move on :)
  • wildchildofthebluemoon@xanga

    The friend zone is the worst place to be.  I've only put two people in the friends zone in my entire life and I hate being put there.  I find the same qualities good in both a boyfriend and a friend....why would I not?


    And it sucks that while you are trying to get over him, he just keeps on being friendly making it sooo much harder. Sorry!
  • Doubledb@xanga

    Strange, when girls have put me in the friends zone (after I have expressed interest), it usually involves them not speaking or communicating with me in almost any way.
  • lttlegel@lovelyish

    It sucks, but be glad that he told you instead of stringing you along... [ even more ] the longer it goes on the worst it is.


    I was the "stringer" in this case. I was hanging out with a guy friend a lot because we genuinely enjoyed spending time together. One night he brought me back to his place because it was late and I'd had a little bit to drink.... I slept on the couch, it was nothing more than that. Or, so I thought. A few days later while hanging out again he kept complimenting me. I blew it off like no big deal. I hung out with him again a few x and he invited his roommate to come along. His roommate and I clicked immediately and even started hanging out without the friend. A few weeks later my friend came out and said he was really interested in me, as more than friends... and I had to tell him I was interested in his roommate [ now my fiance] instead. :( 


    I felt like an ass, but I told him AS SOON as I realized what was going on... I'm sure this hurts, but like I said, be happy he told you sooner than later.

  • splinter1591@xanga

    i've been friend zoned.  But he's so cute! ah!
  • ELIZerson@xanga

    My fiance and I were friends for four years.  No joke, just friends, no hidden attachments.  Somewhere along the line it changed, when we were both single... it was an interesting transition to make.
  • reminisce

    girl i know how you feel! at least he's still in your life..
    but if anything, if you want to get over him, you should tell him to give you space.
    be real with him, tell him how you feel and whatnot.

    i've been hung up on the same guy since november 2010.
    we tried being friends but it was difficult too.
    then both of us got busy and whatnot.
    But my feelings were there to stay.
    He cut me out of his life, so I could get over him...
    But, :( it's been 9 months now, and I'm still head over heels...

    be strong! :D

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