Saturday, 25 June 2011
Many of my female peers today say that they never want to get married. (Never say never.) They just don’t see themselves being joined with another person for the rest of their lives. I understand that we’re still young and their minds might change 10 years from now but don't little girls dream about their future wedding and marriage? Doesn't that dream stick with them till they're young adults? What made my generation of females dislike even the thought of marriage so much? Reality? Parents’ marriage didn’t work out? Friends’ marriages didn’t work out? Watching too much television?
Unlike most girls, I am in love with marriage. My parents, however, have been in a loveless and complicated marriage for over a decade. They've been married for 19 years, had two kids, & went through a lot of hell together. The mistake my parents made was marrying each other in less than a year of knowing each other. My parents were the only adults in my life I knew who never divorced but it wasn't happy. I've never seen a successful marriage yet I believe it can happen to anyone, especially me.
I’ve never been to a wedding and don’t precisely know what happens during the ceremony/reception but the fact that a man would sacrifice his bachelorhood, independence, and objectivity for me says a lot. Of course before I wed, I must know this man for a several amount of years (Maybe 5 to 10 years of being in an intimate relationship). I would never marry if I see a few problems with the guy that I think couldn't be fixed in the future. You obviously can’t change a person. I don’t want to marry for future children or the beautiful ceremony and after party.
I honestly want to marry because I think this man I‘ve been with and been through everything with for so many years has seen it all with me already, why not take it to the next level and be joined as one? We are each other’s perfect halves. Soul mates. We made it through as a couple in the beginning so we might as well finish legally and spiritually committed and ordained to be together for the rest of our lifetime. I would love to be married by 25-28 and have children at 35 (Kids are not really for me). Legal marriage might just be a “piece of paper” to some but that certificate is important to society too. What would happen if you never had a birth certificate? It’s just a “piece of paper” right?
And when I get married, that will be it for the guy! I am against divorce but will do legal separation if the relationship needs to cool down for several months or years. If you divorce me, then what was the point of the ceremony? Vows? Promises? They would have been back-stabbing unforgivable lies. Any problem that comes our way will be reconciled because I am not a quitter. Marriage is never easy but I want it the moment I graduate law school. (By the way, the carat, clarity, and cut of the ring matters!)
So how do you feel about marriage? Do you think it’s not necessary because it’s just “a piece of legal paper”? Would you marry before 25 years old? How long would you wait to be wed? Does a wedding ring size matter? Let me know your thoughts!