I have run into a problem when I kiss guys, it's the open mouth kiss.
You know, when they shove their tongue down your throat and just start moving it around for about five minutes. Oh, wait, people
don't like kissing like that?
When I first started dating my ex, he just opened his mouth and just moved his tongue. That's it. Literally. I hated it, it got to the point where I just couldn't kiss him anymore. After asking a few friends, I finally told him, "I really don't like how you kiss." He was taken aback at first. Possibly a little hurt. But he eventually realized that it was best I told him, it really helped our sex life. He asked for me to take the lead.
I could never take the lead in open-mouthed kissing without it turning into a slobber fest with him, so eventually we stopped. We found a different, more romantic way to kiss. And when we preferred hot over romantic, we just altered it a bit.
But what happens when you're not dating the guy? I have been complimented on my kissing many times, so I'm confident that I do pretty well. But lately, I just can't match up with a guy who kisses well! They all start slobbering everywhere! I recently was a guy's first kiss, and for some reason he took the lead. I really don't enjoy kissing him so I broke it off.
Would you break up with someone if their kissing style turned you off? How do you manage open-mouth kissing with a someone and it doesn't turn into slobber fest?
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actually my first kiss was with a horrible kisser, my first boyfriend. he was several years older than me- 24! so i thought he knew what he was doing, but holy cow he just plunged down and raped my throat with his tongue! i thought that all kisses were just like that and i was wondering if i would ever enjoy kissing
. that was maybe out of one or 2 times that we made out like that, our short relationship was mostly light cheek kisses and such, and then we broke up. wew. i made out with one random guy after that, and he didn't suck and he told me i was good too, so i felt a bit better about the whole kissing ordeal. then i kissed my boyfriend now and OHMAN 
it was like i-never-kissed-before amazing. so i think it also depends on chemistry over all.
If you're gonna break up with someone because of their kissing style, it's probably for the best. They wouldn't want anything to do with a shallow person like you anyhow.
Orrrrrr you could try teaching them. >.>
No, if I really like someone, something as irrelevant as the way they kiss wont affect anything.
You CAN take control of the kiss. Kiss him the way you like to be kissed and he may just get it. You can actually do this strange, weird thing called "talking about crap," and say, "I don't like that, try it like this."
You can't just say, "You suck," and give no suggestions.
When one of my exes first kissed me...he was awful. He always bit my lip. I didn't realize I had a small bruise from him kissing me until one of my friends said what the heck happened to my lip. I taught him how to kiss better, but I'm glad I didn't end up with him. I felt like he was too tall for me also since I'm 5'3 and he's like 6'2. I prefer someone slightly taller but not that tall. His kissing got better but it was still only okay. Luckily the guy I'm hanging out with now is an amazing kisser. I really feel like we were made for each other in every way and I've never had that feeling with anyone else. :P
@QuantumStorm@xanga - I was literally going to write the exact same thing, almost word for word. Thank you for your common sense!
Actually, I did break up with someone, but the bad kissing was just the tipping point; we really didn't have anything in common, it was pretty terrible, we could NOT conversate at all...
But anyways, this person latched onto me and just started imitating a hoover vacuum.. it was traumatizing, haha...
It was kind of rude, too, because the first kiss, imo, should just be a nice peck on the lips, not go for serious making-out which was what this guy did. xD
(This was my VERY first kiss, too.. I was afraid that was what it was like and actually considered the fact that I shouldn't date at all.. because kissing was obviously so vile! I got over it and, thankfully, my next boyfriend didn't attempt to suck my face off, it was kinda funny 'cause when we were about to kiss for the first time, I was cringing.. expecting it to be horrible like my first kiss.. ahahaha)
once i was interested in a guy and we had been hanging out for a while, thought he was super cute etc. but when we finally kissed it was soooo bad. i can't even describe how bad it was. before then i had never experienced a truly BAD kisser. (to those who are saying that caring about how someone kisses is shallow, you've clearly never experienced a truly horrible kisser) it was like he opened his mouth up wide and almost engulfed my whole mouth. there was no give and take. it reminded me of a frog trying to eat a strawberry. it was soo fucking awkward. i gave him like 2 more chances to improve, tried guiding him and leading by example, but NOTHING helped. so i called it quits before we even started dating. if the simple act of kissing is that unpleasant, there was no hope for us.
my boyfriend now, who i've been with for 4 years isn't the greatest kisser. he's not BAD, he's just kinda boring. especially during sex, he'll get too into it and forget to do anything with his mouth. he didn't even really know how to tongue kiss before we started dating which is strange because he's older then me and has been in a lot more people than me. i think he's improved a lot though.
i think if you encounter a bad kisser then you should try to improve their style, but if its not happening don't force it. not everyone is going to have chemistry with each other. there's people out there who will fit you better.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Haha, what a revolutionary idea: working through differences by communicating instead of running off at the first sign of trouble.
Am I missing something here? What are you supposed to do with your tongue besides move it around? What else is there to do with a tongue?
I wouldn't break it off over something like that. Everyone has different preferences, so naturally you're not always going to kiss someone who likes the same things as you.
@grammarboy@xanga - Someday it'll catch on... I just know it.
Yes, I would dump someone if they were a bad kisser.
No. It's not being shallow.
Why? Because it's not deserving for anyone to be with someone who you would dread kissing. Yeah, you can go throughout the day enjoying each others' company, but when it comes to kissing goodbye or goodnight, then you lose the intimacy of a relationship.
This is how people become friends and the idea of "kissing your brother (or sister)" comes in.
You want to want to kiss the person you're with, not deal with it.
Sure, you can stick with the relationship with the hopes of changing kissing habits, but if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work.
Best way to fix a bad kisser?
A good teacher and lots and lots of practice.When my fiance gets too tongue-happy, I pull back. It works. And I think it is shallow to break up over a bad kiss, because like other commenters have said, you can teach your SO! Have fun with it! Kissing is fun. It's not a chore. It's not a job. It doesn't always have to be a prelude to sex or used as a measure to say goodbye or hello. Do it for fun!
I use to date a guy who was a horrible kisser. I thought it over and realized there are a few steps you can take to fix it right on up. Needless to say, my "kissing rehabiliation" didn't quite fix the fact that he was a pure jerk. Anywho. . .
First off, pull away. Not like a full on "HELL NO, I'M NOT KISSING YOU" motion but, instead, like a teasing move. Pulling away prevents him from continuing to cover you in slober and gives you an opportuniy to kind of "reset" the kiss.
Secondly, say something that'll put you in control while smiling. The smile offsets the kind of "Umm, you're not doing this right" attitude. A little smile and "Baby. . . Kiss me like this. . ." goes a looooooong way.
Third, start a pattern with your kissing style. Slow it down a bit, a slow passionate kiss won't be as sloppy, use periodic breaks between having a full out french kiss and soft pecks which are easy to achieve by removing your tongue, pecking his lips with yours one or twice, and then reinserting the tongue.
Fourth, TELL him when he kisses you the way you like to be kissed. It boosts his confidence while getting you EXACTLY what you want. [:
As far as breaking up over a bad kiss, if it's the straw that breaks the camel's back, then so be it! But if your dating someone who your happy with, other than the usual stuff and the whole bad kisser sitation, don't break up because of that. Not only is it pretty shallow, it's something that karma would, ironically, get you for. Just imagine the possibilities: you broke up with him because he couldn't kiss, your new boyfriend called it quits because you can't perform his favorite "sexual" favor like a pro.
Wouldn't you already know their kissing style prior to being in a relationship, most likely? At any rate, I agree that it's rather shallow to break up over this, something that can be worked on...together.
I'll just spank his bare ass with a ping pong paddle to teach him a lesson
I have to go bootcamp training on some guys in order for them to obey. no, kissing isn't that important. I often break up with a guy because he is selfish and stubborn.
@brrraaaiiins@xanga You broke it off because he stabbed you with his small penis. :D
let me say... i dont like to kiss with my tounge much.something about it.... i dislike it.though no ones complained, only enjoyed. so whatever. lol. though one guy... awful kisser in my opinion. he didnt let me breathe, attacking my entire face, jamming his tounge to my intestines (ok exaggeration lol). just yuck.
I would. Couples kiss a lot. If you're nearly in physical pain every time you kiss, either teach him how to do it right or cut him loose!
I don't and I've dated guys that had no experience in kissing. I usually help them along and they get better ;) No need to run away or break up because of something fixable like that.
I would say yes. Â That's why I try to avoid women with thin lips. Â They're usually the worst kissers out there.
I think I am awesome at kissing. Follow body language, get close, use lips soft but forcefully (a tricky balance) and use the tongue to brush their lips and tease them. Never had a bad response. However who knows what my partners though.... I would certainly not go back for another one if they sucked... I remember a friend of mine shoving his tongue in on his first kiss... Poor fool...
bad kisses are pretty unbearable, but they eventually get better over time.