Wednesday, 22 June 2011
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Admit It: You Just Had Sex
A few months ago, I came into the bar for my first legitimate shift. I was nervous, and thrilled to have found paid employment, and excited to be working with people who seemed so awesome and friendly. I walked in with a big smile and greeted one of the owners, who had conducted my interview only days before. He took one look at me and said: "you just had sex.""What?" I exclaimed, looking around and blushing profusely as I recalled the great sex I'd had just an hour before. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You totally did," he said. "You totally just had sex."
I laughed it off and got to work. But really? How could he tell? I'm a pretty smiley person, I had every reason to be excited and upbeat for my first day on the job, and it's not like I was wearing a bumper sticker that said "freshly serviced." I understand he has had his fair share of ladies... maybe once you sleep with a given number of people, the universe grants you a sort of sex-radar consolation prize, so that you know, at all times, when it's going on around you.
Have you ever been called out for your post-coital glow? Was it embarrassing or hilarious?
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About the Author
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- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
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Comments (71)
I wish I just had sex...
Well, my friends can usually tell because my hair looks all fudged up. Or maybe it's because I walk a little funny after, who knows.
No. That is kind of weird O.o
yea, i been called out before. I was glowing and my hair looked healthy. lol. i wasnt embarassed. i was proud. it was with my ex and my friends knew he visited. they might not have known if they didnt know he visited though but the glow was definitly there.
lmao! It would crack me up to hear that on my first day, it would most likely be true, (stress relief!) The guy was definitely taking a risk of sexual harassment though.
by the way...isnt that sexual harassment these days? especially if it makes you feel embarrassed. your employers or co-workers are supposed to mind their business.
That would never happen to me, haha.
@College_Ruled11X85@xanga -
Agreed, if, on the very very off chance it did happen, I'd be all MYOB, bitch, MYOB. xD
What kind of person actually does that kind of crap anyways?
OMG YOU LOOK HAPPY YOU JUST HAD SEX.. I CAN TELL.
Creep-a-zoid, much!
That is very unprofessional.
hahaha - I think this is awesome & deff creates an interesting relationship between you and your coworkers at your job... the only thing is, what if he had been wrong?! hahaaa.
Nope. and if your uncomfortably you probably should have talked to your boss, because that could be sexual harassment. =)
I like how people just jump to sexual harassment. It's not, it's inappropriate work conduct, but not harassment. Unless he was to badger you about it and then try to make advances at you and put your job on the line for it.
Either way you can usually tell when someone is their usually chipper self, or if they just had sex. There's a difference in body language, expression, especially if you had great sex within an hour beforehand...it's usually pretty obvious.
Oooh.. To the people who are overreacting and saying that it was unprofessional and so on and so forth. Sure, it could have been...but
1. he's a guy.
2. it's a BAR not a corporate office.
3. It's all in good fun.
4. The author didn't seem offended.
Anyway... Yes. I have been called out by a few people (mostly guys) when I've had sex. lol I think it's just a guy thing... They can pick up who just had sex a little easier (that's my thought, at least).
So this person is your boss interviewed you once, and then on your very first day says to you "You just had sex." ?
@torturetoy@xanga - As someone who has worked at a place where the owner started by saying inappropriate comments and progressed quickly to doing things like standing pressed against my back with his hands on my shoulders in front of all of the other employees, and then sending everyone out on errands so he could start rubbing my shoulders and freak me the fuck out, I'm going to have to go ahead and say it's not all in good fun.
It's fucking creepy and disgusting and regardless of where you work, unless it's a brothel, your boss shouldn't be talking about sex with the employees.
@thisiswhereItellyoueverything@xanga - Okay... Your story is one thing. The author of this post didn't write about a creepy experience with her boss. He didn't touch her, nor seclude her, nor any of that... He just asked a passing question. I don't see the big deal in that.
@torturetoy@xanga - It's not a passing question and it's not appropriate. It's her FIRST DAY of work. They are not friends. He is her boss. I can't think of any job where I would ever want my boss talking to me about sex. If you think he'll just say this shit one time and then never say or do anything else inappropriate that's extremely naive.
People I don't want asking me if I've recently had sex: My boss. My college professors. Random strangers with "passing questions."
Unless someone is your friend, it shouldn't come up. It should NEVER come up at work, especially from someone in a position of authority over you on your FIRST DAY. I can't even fathom how you could think this is even remotely okay.
It's not okay that he asked that...
I have had someone tell me I smell like sex before. I was working a double shift and on my hr. break, my boyfriend and I had sex in his hot car. It was the middle of summer and things were getting very hot and a little smelly, evidently. When I went back to work, one of my guys friends laughed and said, "You totally smell like sex."
For those who are saying it's not sexual harassment, it most definitely is. At a previous job we had a seminar on what was considered sexual harassment, and this qualifies. If she reported it though, it would most likely not go anywhere.
Def of sexual harassment: http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sexual+harassment
Excerpt from above link:
<li>submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual's employment,<li>submission" Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors,
and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute
sexual harassment when
to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis
for employment decisions affecting such individuals, or<li>such
conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an
individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or
offensive working environment. (29 C.F.R. § 1604.11 [1980])
A key part of the definition is the use of the word unwelcome.
Unwelcome or uninvited conduct or communication of a sexual nature is
prohibited; welcome or invited actions or words are not unlawful. "
they don't ask me if I've had sex, but usually ask, "are you high?" because I'll be easily amused and giggly:D my room mate walked into my room one time and asked me a rhetorical question, "what's that smell?
" I didn't say anything, but I think my room mate knew that my room smelled like wet sex
@torturetoy@xanga - You clearly aren't fit for the working world if you can't see how this is inappropriate no matter where you work. Just because it's a bar that doesn't mean you get to act like a rude asshole.
I have a talent of knowing when a woman has just had sex. You can tell by the release of tension, because they are relaxed. Maybe chipper. Radiating. Sometimes the smell they have. Yes, sometimes skin color. How they walk. I wish I could say it was a gift... but it's just because I have been around the block a few times.
Damn, now I want to have sex...She "laughed it off". Appearantly, she's not too bothered by the remark.
I've never had anybody acutally come out and ask me if I just had sex. I do, however, feel EXTREMELY paranoid after sex. Kind of like everybody in the world knows it just happened. Especially when there's a bunch of people around. We had sex in a bathroom at a super sketchy party one time and I talked him into leaving immediately after simply because I felt like EVERYBODY knew we were in there even though the next day it turned out everybody thought we were outside. . .
I've... never had anyone call me out on that! I mean, if they did I might be kind of weirded out. I'm pretty much always cheerful and smiley so maybe people cannot tell. Also, I can't think of a single person where I work who would even come close to saying something that cheeky. Maybe I just work in pretty polite places. If someone did call me out on it, I would probably say something to make it even more embarrassing, though, whether I meant to or not. I'm so silly I usually don't even think of lying about things like this. lol.
Possible reactions:
"How did you know?!"
"Hurr hurr, yeah, it was pretty fun!"
"That's so weird! I wonder if you can tell this time because I had multiples, or what."
"Am I missing an article of clothing or something?"
"Did ____ (apartment neighbor's name who knows people where I work) complain to you?!" *paranoid* <--- Most likely reaction
lmao it's true, i've been told i've glowed before and both times it's because i got some :)
I think it's weird because it was her first day, but if she had been there for a while and established a good rapport with the owners then I wouldn't think of it as being as weird.
that would be weird for me if its my first day at work and someone said that to me.