Wednesday, 22 June 2011
-
Rape: A Hard Topic for Me to Write About
So many people have so many different views on the subject. Here's my view:
- Males and females can be either the rapist or the victim. A man can rape a woman or a man, and a woman can rape a man or a woman.
- It doesn't matter what the woman was wearing. Some women don't wear anything very revealing or "sexy." Even if she is wearing something sexy, that's her right. No one should be allowed to do something like that just because people say she's "asking for it." And what about guys? Are guys wearing something too sexy so they get raped? I don't think so. In my opinion, sexiness is in you or it isn't. If you're attractive, nothing is going to make you un-attractive, so should we blame God? Of course not. I don't think being sexy is always the reason why most people get raped.
- Sometimes I think it's just because the rapist wants control. That's it. They don't exactly want to get laid. They just want control.
- No always means no... unless you're role-playing of course. If someone doesn't want to go all the way, people should respect that. It shouldn't mean they're a tease or whatever. It just means they aren't ready.
- I don't think people put themselves in that position all the times. Sometimes people are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and they can't help it.
- I don't feel sorry for the rapist because of their history. It's not an excuse. Would you blame a child for being molested and feel sorry for the molester? Would you blame someone that was killed because their murderer had a bad childhood? I sure hope not. They chose to make that decision to harm another human being. They should be punished severely for it.
I'm so sick of people saying that it's the victim's fault. Is this the world we're living in now? The devil has taken over if this is what it's coming to. There's no good in the world anymore. None whatsoever. Criminals need to go to prison, not mental hospitals.
Am I wrong? By all means tell me you think I'm wrong.
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: caffeinated_mama@xanga
- Name: ~ * S a R e E *~
- Location:
- About Me: I am a mom and a wife. I stay at home most of the time, it sucks. But I'm taking online classes so hopefully in the next few years I'll have a career that I like! :)
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 1874 Comments: 0 31 View all posts by caffeinated_mama@xanga
Comments (31)
The only thing I don't agree with is your opinion that "criminals should go to prison, not mental institutions" Prison is extremely expensive and ineffective for creating a better society. If someone (who is mentally sane) commits a crime, then certainly punishment is important and incarceration is necessary for the safety of the community.
However,
if someone commits a crime because they are indeed mentally ill, sending them to prison (where they may eventually get released back into society) will only have disastrous consequences.
my problem is that the attitude of "don't blame the victim" prevents any meaningful discussion of what can and cannot be done to prevent rape. as a woman, i am not a helpless little creature. there are plenty of things i can do to minimize my risk. according to many people of the victim culture, i was the victim of a rape. i wholeheartedly disagree. i made bad decisions, said yes when i should have said no, and i am just as much to blame for what happened.
also, i fully agree that no woman, regardless of what she wears, deserves to be raped. but being respected is a different story. and sometimes i think women expect them to go hand in hand. if you want men to see you as something other than a prostitute, you shouldn't dress like one. just because a guy isn't planning on raping you, that doesn't mean he is legally required to treat you like you're ultra classy and respectable.
I particularly agree with the first statement!
I know a guy who was raped by a woman, and a lot of people tend to brush that off.. think it's no big deal, and it's not, it's just as degrading and emotionally traumatizing as a man raping a woman.. there's no difference at all.
Actually, when I think about it, it may be worse, because of the ridicule the male victim might face.
But yeah, this is a good post...
Great post. I agree with everything 100%
Rape is always about control. It's never because they couldn't contain themselves, or if it was, the person would be struggling with severe mental issues, aside from people who rape others for control/power.
That's why saying that they dressed for it and deserved it is absurd. It's about power, control, and domination. It doesn't matter who you are, if someone sees you as an easy target and they are a rapist (or will soon be one), very little is going to stop them. Things like wearing your hair in a ponytail or wearing a skirt make things easier for a rapist. But things like carrying and umbrella or other possibly struggling/assaulting items deter potential rapists.
I think when it comes to rape, people are looking at it all wrong, trying to blame the victim, while the victim and who they are, what they are wearing, have VERY LITTLE to do with the rapist's desire/obsession for taking control, having power over someone, and dominating them to make them feel worthless.
@rabbit_heart@xanga - You said it! I think that prisons are overcrowded. Also feel that way about people who commit nonviolent crimes - that's another topic, though. Mental facilities are, for the most part, viewed by the public as a "crutch" or for the "weak" or as an easy way out. THEY'RE NOT. They're a reformation process, and the very best ones should rub off on the less desirable ones in this country.
To the OP... there certainly are different settings where rape takes place... in the movie The Accused, Jodie Foster's character is raped in a bar by a bunch of drunk men, where they laugh and egg each other on, and some jump on the bandwagon to "fit in" presumably.
When I took my Human Sexuality class two semesters ago, my teacher told our class this story about a girl at a college party who got so drunk she passed out, and all these college students took advantage of her, and much like in the movie I previously mentioned, they egged each other on and laughed about it. She wound up pregnant and STD-ridden, with one she couldn't cure.
Rape is an ugly, ugly thing.
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I feel you on that... it shouldn't be about blaming, I wish that word didn't exist when people talked about rape. But minimizing one's risk is so important. Why would you walk in a dark alley by yourself if you don't have to? Who knows, but some women do it, and leave themselves completely vulnerable.
@rabbit_heart@xanga - Completely agree.
capital punishment for repeat offenders.
Take some self-defense classes. @Yabuki@xanga - Lol.
@rabbit_heart@xanga - Well then you do agree with me :) I said "criminals" not mentally insane. I know there are mental people out there, and yes, I believe they should go into asylums, if they are in fact insane. I've seen people try to work the system though and say they are insane when they really just don't want to be in prison.
@Yabuki@xanga - I wanted to recommend you, but I will agree instead :)
I really do not understand a rapists mindset. I wish I did, so I could help prevent it.
I disagree with your point about "people not putting themselves in that position". I think in certain cases some people continually put themselves at serious risk, by drinking themselves practically unconscious. Now I am all for having fun, but there is a limit to the amount one should drink if not in a secure environment. Passing out in your house is fair however passing out on the streets is downright dangerous. I don't understand why people continually put themselves into this position, all in the name of "having a good time", when all that happens is they forget the 4 hours of lying puking in the street half naked and unconscious... So yeah, some people put themselves in the position.
However the fuckers that commit the crime should still be fucking burned regardless.
@Footballblogs@xanga - I love that last line
It makes me wonder what perspective you're writing from - as a previous victim or someone privileged enough that rape isn't a constant reminder/reality for them.
The only thing I somewhat disagree with is "rape is about control". I'm sure control is an aspect of it... But you can get control in many many many ways.
A part of it HAS to be sexual. So I don't understand why it keeps being ignored by so many peeps.
Even in prison when straight guys are having gay sex... Sure.. It's definitely about control... But it's foolish to say that it isn't also sexual. They want the sexual pleasure that comes with it.
It may not be from a person of their preferred gender... But if you have to choose between your hand and a mouth.........
I could not disagree more with your last point, because there is no such thing as choice. A person does not have any control of their actions, rather its in response to their nurturing and environment etc. At most, choice is a figure of speech. That's not saying I think the victim should be blamed for a criminal's history. What it does say though is that there is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for criminals because of their history. This doesn't take anything away from the crime they committed, or what happened to the victim. The criminal should be put away in facilities that will protect themselves and society, and they should be treated humanely in such places. If they can be rehabiliated, they should be released, though I believe in cases of serious crime, they can not be. I completely agree with your other points.
If you're a victim of rape, I suggest seeking professional help, if you already haven't.
I agree with most of it. No, rape is not the victim's fault. Rape is the rapist's fault.
However, there are things that we can do to prevent being raped. I know that clothing is a touchy subject, but here I go:
Yes, it's your right to choose what you wear. And yes, women get raped in clothes ranging from head to toe coverage to bikinis. But be aware that rapists are looking for an easy target. If you are wearing very little, teetering on heels, and drunk and not totally aware of your surroundings, it will be easier to rape you. That doesn't excuse the rapist, it does empower women when they know that there may be things they can do to lessen the likelihood of being attacked.
Yeah, rape is about control and it's about sex too. "It's not about sex" has become meaningless commentary that people shout- I don't even know what the purpose is. It IS about sex, and violence, and force, and power.
So. It's not your fault if you are attacked. It's not my fault if I'm attacked. But I'm working on a concealed handgun license, and maybe a lot more women should as well.
@Spectrophile@xanga - I see what you are saying, but I just cannot believe that people have no control over their actions. That's just how I feel. And I don't think I'm perfect, not even close. I have made probably more wrong decisions than anyone on this site. But I just don't see the consequences of my actions before I act.
To the commentators, I'm not a victim of rape--which I am very thankful for--but I have had to be there for friends who were brutally raped, both girls and guys.
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - I know some of it is about sex, I didn't mean that it's zero percent about sex. I just thinks it's mostly about a power rush. Lots of people live for power. Just because that's not what I want in life, it doesn't mean that's not what someone else is looking for, you know?
@caffeinated_mama@xanga - I agree with you. I wasn't attacking you, just commenting that lots of people completely deny that sex has any part in rape, when really, it's a lot of things.
In the end, it doesn't really matter to me why the rapist does it, only that they do and that rape is evil.
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - That is very very true. Rape is very evil. I haven't been raped but I hear it's like dying over and over.
I find it funny they took out my last line...
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - THANK YOU. So many times I get slammed because people don't seem to understand that prevention does not equate to blaming the victim. Often times, it's all about how easy the target is, and clothing plays into how easy of a target you are.
@caffeinated_mama@xanga - Thanks. I basically echo WaitingToShrug's sentiments. Prevention is not the same as blame. But the people who rape frankly have forfeited their right to life. We are not apes anymore, we have supposedly evolved beyond using violence as a method of finding a mate, and the people who rape belong in the past, or in the air as smoke particles.
@caffeinated_mama@xanga - That wouldn't surprise me. I am thankful that I've never been attacked. I hope if it does happen, I am able to defend myself.
@chicbananas@xanga - That is exactly why I intend to make myself a difficult target. I know that doesn't exclude me, but... all I can control is myself. Therefore I will arm myself in the best way I can.
@Footballblogs@xanga - You're right. When you take away someone else's rights by force, you forfeit your own. I'm certainly glad to live in an age and place that rape is recognized as evil and not condoned or ignored.