Tuesday, 21 June 2011
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Getting Stood Up
So this has happened twice now. I just want to know what goes on through a girl's head when she stands a guy up. I want to know more so, why that happens when the two of us have been talking and actually having good conversations and flirting.So this girl and I are in the stages of liking each other and she texted me today saying hi. I replied and we had a good conversation until I asked her if she wanted to hang out today. She just completely ignored me and I just let it go. I figured if she liked me enough she'd at least reply. I am very confused right now. She approached me and initiated it. Why did I get stood up then? Or ignored in this case?
To you girls, what goes on in your head when you don't want to hang out with that guy and ignore/stand him up?
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- From: lil_KyungMin@xanga
- Name: K-Min
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Comments (19)
every girl is different. maybe she's not ready to actually date yet or maybe she got real busy. Maybe you're moving too fast for her. There could be a zillion reasons, but you won't know unless you ask her. I think you should just text her back and ask what's up. If she's already blowing you off, you don't want to keep pursuing it.
yeah i really can't answer for every girl that does this sort of thing, but i think a lot of girls just text to be friendly (as do guys) and then get freaked if they think its becoming something else. another thing to watch out for though: Texting too much before a first date!
goes something like this, texting breeds a false familiarity, and that sort of makes the first date feel more like a second or third date, and that feels too fast for some people. it puts a little more pressure on things that some people just aren't ready for. its fine to talk a lot in person, i think, or a couple times over the phone - but always be careful not to over do it, especially BEFORE a first date.
If she doesn't respond to your text asking to hang out then chances are she's just stringing you along. She probably says "but I dont' want to hurt him!" conversation with everybody that asks about you. =p
Probably just wants someone to talk to, unfortunately. Feel free to keep talking to her, but I wouldn't settle on her as your only option at this point.
cause girls be bitches. i hate to say it, but...get used to it. happens to the best of us.
I used to do this or at least always come up with a reason of why I couldn't. It was just because I didn't really like them. I just liked talking to them. That was when I was 15-17 though. I'd never do that now.
she might not have gotten the text, make sure it was actually sent. Soo much can happen with phones-broken, bad service, she didnt even get it, she didnt check her phone. Technology is brutal sometimes, so maybe it was that?
Well, that's not actually standing you up, since she didn't have plans. If you're blogging about it the same day that it happened, is it possible that she hasn't gotten it yet? Got busy? Set her phone down somewhere? Next time you talk to her, ask again. If she ignores it again, take the hint- for whatever reason, she's not interested.
Maybe she just hasn't looked at her phone yet. I ask things over text and don't get an answer until much later sometimes.
that isnt being stood up... o_o
i have never stood a guy up. i think thats rude. i stick to the if you dont want it done to you, dont do it to others policy. =) but that is in the case of an actual standing someone up (not showing up when you said you would meet them up leaving them to be humiliated in waiting for you). i have been guilty in the past to where i didnt reply to someones texts about going out. it was because i was unsure of said person. nowadays though, ill just say that to thek instead of confusing a guy. good luck!i've never stoood anyone up or been stood up.
rude.
This is not being stood up! Goodness, I forget to respond to texts all of the time! Especially if I get the text while I'm at work, because by the time I'm off and can respond, I've often forgotten. Maybe she didn't get it (that does happen) or something. If she's not responding, then maybe she IS just not wanting to see you in person... at least not yet. I've personally had some very serious issues with stalkers, so I'm always more cautious when getting in any relationship, especially if it's largely through technology at first. Maybe she's just shy. Only she knows. Also, posting about it on here will NOT score you any points if she ever finds out. Just saying.
As for really standing somebody up, I'd never do it. I've come up with excuses why I can't do something before, but I don't break plans last-minute unless I really have no choice. And remember, some excuses are legit. My bf kept asking me to hang out and I kept turning him down, but because it was the end of the semester and I honestly couldn't afford to leave my room, not because of him at all. So if she gives a reason, even if it sounds stupid, give her the benefit of the doubt! :D
This happens to my friend all the time. I honestly think that it must be that you guys are giving off a "friend" vibe. Girls can also be bitchy and/or oblivious to what they're doing. So what you may construe as nice flirty vibes may be to the girl just for fun and not really leading into dating at all. So when you finally do make the move to hang out, they wig out. Some also just like the attention. My best advice is to work hard on not getting in the friend zone. When you start talking to someone immediately make it known that you're a man to be reckoned with and not just some fluffy guy to be "friends" with. You need to demonstrate that you're a man that is looking for a woman. I know it's hard advice to follow because then it just seems like you're on the prowl all the time, but if you're the type that always seems to find "unavailable" girls or are always the "friend", then I think it's worth a try. Mostly, ask them out very soon, don't wait and build up a rapport with them, by then you'll be in the friend zone already. You have to be direct, make your intentions known, just something as simple as "hey I'm really interested in getting to know you, I want to take you out sometime", it's not too forward but shows that you're serious.
That is not getting stood up, but rejected, rather. She's just not that into you.
My boyfriend used to text me and sort of freak out if I didn't respond immediately. He didn't get psychotic like WHAT ARE YOU DOING but he would call me a few hours later and be like "Why didn't you respond to (whatever text he had sent)?"
And here's the thing... I was responding, but for some reason my texts weren't going through. So he thought I wasn't responding...and I thought that he wasn't responding. But the difference was that he emotionally thought something was going on, and I was sort of just like Oh, he must have gotten busy.
And then it annoyed me that he had sort of freaked out...I hadn't even been annoyed by him not responding to my texts.
So lesson: CHILL.
Also, any number of things could be going on with this girl, whether she's not interested, just wants the attention, wants to take things slow, wants to just be friends, whatever. But getting all freaked out over it isn't attractive.
has she directly complimented you? I mean I'd mainly consider it flirting if I directly told the guy that he's cute or something else. maybe you see it as flirting but she just sees it as being friendly, so you got mixed signals and asked her out but she freaked out and ignored you, because she thinks that it is a date, which she doesn't want to give you the wrong idea, thus ignoring you, so you'll get the hint. or she likes you, too, but isn't ready to date and prefers to continue texting to get to know you better. although getting to know someone in person would be better since you can see their body language and not misinterpret the tone of their text messages for mixed signals like do smiley faces mean that she is flirting as more than friends or does she add smileys to basically everybody that she texts
that's one possible sign of mixed messages. maybe ask her again:D
maybe she's nervous (just talking in my point of viewe)
I've never completely ignored anyone for asking me to hang out, unless I've had to tell them "No" multiple times. Her lack of a response proves she's probably very immature and even a bit of a jerk. Leave that whole situation alone! [: Good luck!
FYI: Girls don't like being asked out over text message.