Saturday, 18 June 2011
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Lessons From the Domesticated Animal Kingdom
Just now I was sitting on the couch at my parents house, which is empty, thinking about relationships. And I looked over at my cat, Gretel, who had just been joined by our other cat, Hansel, and I've been watching them lick each others' faces in sleepy contentment for the last five minutes.
Now, when we first got Hansel, he was just a little baby. Because they are of the same breed, Gretel looked just like his mother, so he went right to her. But Gretel hissed and arched her back and was generally very unreceptive to baby Hansel for the first few months of his life (even though the whole reason we got Hansel was because Gretel had been so lonely by herself that she'd taken to licking off all her fur).
Now it is maybe four years later, and Hansel and Gretel have developed an inexplicably deep bond that no one else in the house understands. They fight all the time. They ignore each other. They chase each other away, growl, eat each others' food, vie for attention from the same people, and one will often attack when the other is sleeping. But then they have moments, like this one, which finds them settling into a sort of cat-spoon for a nice, long, blissful nap together.
It makes me think: these cats didn't get to choose each other. They were literally picked up and delivered into the same territory with no way out, and forced to find a way to make it work. And despite all the trials and tribulations and neck-bites and stolen bits of tuna fish, they've found a way to love each other.
The parallels to arranged marriage are apparent, at least in my mind.
If you were forced to marry someone you didn't love, do you think you could find a way to love them?
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- From: ThatBirdisAbsurd
- About Me: I just moved to New York after studying and living abroad for five years in Canada, Europe and India. One amazing thing about being back in America: knowing EXACTLY how to say what you want to say, RIGHT when you want to say it. English makes dating a lot easier.
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Comments (13)
I hope so. But I think I'd find it hard to forget the person I do love if I were forced to marry someone else. But I'd try to make the best of it.
It was the same way with my dogs. My older dog Brandi is turning 13 in July and we decided to get another puppy. When we introduced Shelby to Brandi she tried to nurse. It didn't end well. For the first few weeks Brandi wanted nothing to do with Shelby. But after that they started laying together in Brandi's dog bed. Brandi will bark for Shelby to come if we don't know where she is and the one time Brandi got out of her electric fence Shelby sat at the corner (the one Brandi left at - she knew she was in that direction) and just whined waiting for her to come back. They love each other now, even though they still snip at each other if Brandi isn't feeling to hot.
In hindsight - we probably should have waited until Brandi actually passed away to get Shelby because now we have no idea how Shelby will handle the loss. She always wants to be around her.
Depends what they're like. There are some pretty intolerable people on this planet.
First, that is the cutest cat picture in the world. I'm about to die from cuteness overload.
Second, I think I could learn to love someone depending on their personality. I don't know if it would be the kind of love akin to most marriages, but when you live with someone and get to know them you get attached to them whether you like it or not.
Like others have commented, it depends.
That said, I feel like people think love is way more emotion and way less commitment/decision than it actually is, as well. So deciding to be loving toward someone doesn't seem that strange to me.
My boyfriend and I fell in love with each other but we also view love like you have to work at it - you can't just be lazy about it and then eventually claim to have "Fallen out of love" I hate that.What a cop-out.@sassypenguin@xanga - that is sad.
It depends on the person. Arranged marriages have a lot to do with luck. You may be compatible, but it's also possible you won't be at all. Overall, I think they're a bad idea. Glad it worked out for your cats though.
Arranged marriages usually occur between people who grew up together, it really isn't by luck, @Liquid_Pain_523@xanga - .
Either way, I'm a human. Comparing a human relationship with that of a couple of house cats is ridiculous.
If you introduce cats the right way, ie., let them get used to each others' smells first before they meet face to face, from opposite sides of a door, the first can will get used to the new cat as soon as a day to a week. That said, I really like this entry and I wish the baby kitten I had gotten for my cat hadn't been so sick and had stuck around. My older cat and the baby would've looked like that picture.
@six6vi@xanga - Ah, that makes some sense then. Thanks for the correction.
i think i'd be able to love him as time went by. you get used to the person and their habits. and you probably get to see the good in them as you live with them daily. unless he's a total jerk! lol! but just imagine your cats, they got used to each other, actually they don't have a choice! and they learned to get along and play and get on each others nerves but at the end they go to sleep together...content!
Omg that picture <3
I honestly don't have an answer for you. Only time would tell, I suppose.
I think it would depend on how good looking he is.