Friday, 17 June 2011
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Consider This Before Jumping Into a Relationship
The original source can be found here: [x]Before plunging into a relationship with anyone, you should always ask yourself, “Why do I want to have a relationship with this person?” The reason needs to be profound and there most definitely has to be a reason. If you are looking to have the relationship just for fun and entertainment, then it’s probably a good idea not to get into the relationship. You should begin a relationship when you mean to fulfill it. There shouldn’t be any ulterior motives. A relationship can bring you inner strength, or take it away.
What kind of tips or advice would you give to someone before they start a new relationship?
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Comments (14)
First, build a strong friendship and trust. Discuss your intentions and non-negotiables. Reach understanding on key areas like children, finances, careers, health, where to live, and any other issues that will be important to you. Then pray about it and ask for God's blessing.
All of this could take a few days or a few years, but it's important It's not foolproof, but it can save you from getting into things with inevitably bad outcomes.
Sometimes having a reason isnt the greatest idea, because the other person involved may not be with you for that same reason. It should be a case by case thing. Not everyone has the same ideas on what a relationship is. I'd say clarify what you want with that person to make sure your on the same track. Make sure you are not talking yourself into something you dont want. I know too many girls (not suggesting all that do) that think they want to do FWB bc they jumped into a situation and knew all along that wasn't what they wanted - they were "hoping". Its okay to date for fun, just dont convince yourself your okay with "no strings" fun - if your not.
Definitely not be having feelings for someone else while you get into a relationship with a new person.
Well for me, I'm not a fan of becoming official the first time you meet a person. That was my downfall with my past relationships because I became official with them too quickly and it ended too quickly.
I have been unofficial with an interest for over a year now and he's been the longest and most faithful to me out of any of my official relationships. It may not be the same for everyone, but I'd rather be friends with a person first instead of a bf/gf right when you meet them.
What's the rush?
You know you are having a bad day when you don't see "Consider This Before Jumping Into a Relationship"...you see "Consider This Before Jumping".
The tough part is when you are attracted to someone, and you know you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.
taking it slow is often looked down upon... which is a sad thing.
@wildchildofthebluemoon@xanga - unrelated, but i hope your bad day gets better soon. <3
@nodnarbassoon@xanga - I had one ex friend tell me that she looked down upon me because I wasn't official with this guy I've been hanging out with for quite some time now. She says that to me but she approves of another "friend" who is unofficial with someone just the same as I am with my man.
Some people take 3 years alone just to be official and another 3 years to get married.
My ex got engaged to someone only after a 4 whole months of knowing her. even though he's known me much longer I would never marry him, not especially that quickly. I saw their little wedding blog and they were only together for like 3 months and she wrote and asked him when is he ever going to ask her to marry him. at that point they were only together for 3 months. i was thinking woooooooooww.
great it works for him but i'm not that desperate.
I definitely agree that there needs to be reason before, during and after a relationship.
I have been in a relationship for the sake of love. I later realized that was not enough. We needed something more solid to carry us through the days. I am still trying to figure out how to do that lol.
Eh, there's really nothing wrong with getting into a relationship for the fun of it as long as both people know that's the deal. I've never been in a relationship just for the fun of it, but I don't see anything wrong with it. I think the reason people should ask themselves this question, and be truly honest with themselves, is too often people get into relationships to fill a hole. They are not okay with themselves, so they get into a relationship to distract themselves. But this will eventually lead to causticness in the relationship.
love this! so true
maybe it's because Im single...LOL and I'm trying to be subjective and putting myself in the perspective of getting into a relationship but what are reasons to get into a relationship? can you put words down to describe it? I'm curious to know...
"If you are looking to have the relationship just for fun and
entertainment, then it’s probably a good idea not to get into the
relationship. You should begin a relationship when you mean to fulfill
it. There shouldn’t be any ulterior motives."
It really depends on the individual.
What do you mean by "fulfilling" a relationship? What if someone's definition of a fulfilled relationship is one that has fun and entertainment? Why would it be so bad to go into a relationship looking for those things..? :|
Oh and to answer your question, someone who's looking to get into any relationships (be it friendship or romantic or othewise) should know him/herself inside out first. No need to bring along any uncessary baggage to weight down the relationship.
I've had a few relationships that began as fun, and ended as fun. That's all they were ever meant to be to me and to the other person involved. I think that this post is extremely one-sided. I'm now dating a guy I want to marry, but before I dated him I was happy with very casual relationships and I don't see anything wrong with that - they helped me get to the point where I finally desired a serious relationship. I didn't want a serious relationship when I was 20.