Sunday, 12 June 2011
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He's MINE!
Yesterday, I took my boyfriend to our local Dairy Queen, where he's currently employed, for some icecream. Upon pulling up to the drive through window, he conversed with a fellow employee when another employee working recognized me.
We begin to have a short conversation about how much we missed seeing each other then she proceeded to ask me if my boyfriend "told me about Kayla." She prompted him to tell me and we pulled off after saying goodbye. The ride home consisted of me demanding to know who Kayla was and what he needed to tell me.We'll have to go back to the night before when I picked him up from work to explain all of this. When he got in the car, I told him I had something important to tell him when we got home. He responded with "I need to tell you something too." We've always been super honest with each other and my old "flame" had texted me earlier that day and we had a short conversation which consisted of him calling me "baby."
I told him about this, he read the text messages, he was LIVID but we worked through it. Back to lastnight, he admitted to me that Kayla was a "four" from work (you know, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the cutest) and that she had been hitting on him. He said it was the first time he had ever worked with her since he started working there for a little more than a month.
He also explained that he handled the "situation," told her that he had a girlfriend, and told her she didn't have a chance with him but she continued to make "flirtacious" remarks. He didn't tell me when we were in the car because he knew I'd turn around and either a) say something b) key the girl's car or c) kick her ass. I'm not a jealous girl, at all. I just demand respect from people.Now, if this girl was a fellow employee, I would have showed my ass today when I dropped him off if she was working or I would've went down there everyday until I found that she was working and caused a HUGE scene. But she's his manager.... At that point, I'm calm. But he promised to tell me every time she makes a pass at him from now on.
If all the "flirting" doesn't stop, what am I supposed to do? I don't want my boyfriend to get fired considering he's saving up for a place for me and him to live together this fall. Should I urge him file a huge complaint and get stuff stirred up? Should I suck it up and deal with it? Should I handle it myself and possibly turn my local Dairy Queen into a fighting arena? What other options do I have?
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About the Author
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- From: meaganbme93@xanga
- About Me: I'm the eighteen year old daughter of four amazing parents (a mom, a stepdad, a dad, and a stepmom) and the oldest sister to six (yes, six) amazing siblings. I'm taken by the most amazing guy I've ever met. I know that sounds "overused" but it's definitely true. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. There's a good chance he'll be the man I spend the rest of my life with. I'm one of those girls who goes out of her way in school and works really hard at everything which is why I've earned enough college credits to enter into college as a sophomore at Virginia Commonwealth University in Fall 2011. I'm majoring in Chemistry in order to become a pharmacist.
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Comments (35)
Well if she doesn't get the hint, then he probably should file a complaint. He shouldn't have to work somewhere that he's uncomfortable because his manager's all over him.
I would shake it off. He is with you, not her, for a reason. If it gets to the point where he feels harassed or really bothered by her remarks, he should make a complaint.
Yeah, he's with you for a reason but this is sexual harassment and he should file a complaint.
I think he handled it in the right away, and you should probably let him continue to try to handle it. She doesn't seem like a threat at all; it's just a nuisance to both him and you.
At my old job I had this dude constantly harassing me, and he was well aware I had a boyfriend and wasn't interested at all. Some people just have nooo boundaries. :-/
I think you making a scene might make it worse for him at work, though. Try not to act on impulse. Wait a few days 'til you've calmed down, and if you really feel like you still need to say something then approach her and discuss it rationally when you have cooled off.
@SentimentalDoll@xanga - @Hinase@xanga -
AGREED!
File a freaking complaint.
Nobody should have to deal with that at their job.
Obviously the chick in question is severely lacking in the maturity department and if he's already told her to back off and she hasn't? Get her ass fired.. or at least written up.. or demoted.
Managers are supposed to set a GOOD example for the rest of the crew, so she obviously ain't doing her job! xD
I'm sorry to say, but you can't "demand" respect from anyone. Everyone is going to act the way they choose to even if it offends you.
I think he handled the situation perfectly. He was upfront with her and told her how he felt. If she continues and makes him feel uncomfortable, he has the right to complain and go to a higher authority who will do something about it.
You're not jealous but by the sound of it, you are really insecure.
"Now, if this girl was a fellow employee, I would have showed my ass
today when I dropped him off if she was working or I would've went down
there everyday until I found that she was working and caused a HUGE
scene."
You need to stay out of it. Your boyfriend is a big boy and I'm sure he can take care of it himself without having you to stir up unnecessary drama.
woah there, why do you need to go jeapordize his job by causing a scene, throwing fists in her face, or yelling at her? thats a bit much, you over reacting major. what needs to be done is him filing a sexual harrassment claim against her so his job is safe and this shit stops. now if she touches him or tries to kiss him well, thats a whole other deal. then your rage is justified enough to feel disrespected. til then, he needs to file a complaint. and you need to calm down. -_-
You sound insecure, manic, and the type of person that does what their emotions tell them to do. This is annoying. The other girl isn't showing him nude photos. Take a tranquilizer. -_- The last thing the world needs is yet another stupid girl.
@jeezshoua@xanga - @ShirleyD@xanga - Drinks on me.
I don't think I'm over-reacting at all. The problem isn't neccessarily that it's bother me, it's that it's also bothering him. If he didn't feel as though what was going on was a big deal, he wouldn't have complained that she wrote "I love you" on his hand yesterday and told him to show me. He's told this girl MULTIPLE times that he has a girlfriend and yesterday he basically had to threaten that I'd kick her ass for her to stop. . . But as an update, me and him have had a really thorough conversation about it. He's going to speak to his boss about it today. If it doesn't stop then, he's asked me to go down there and say something to her. . . Lasnight, he wanted me to call and say something about it. But I'd much rather handle this type of situation in person.
If she is a manager and making passes at your boyfriend he can report her to someone hire up for a job transfer or maybe have her transferred. What she is doing can be considered sexual harrassment. Your boyfriend just needs to explain the situation to the person who is hire up than his manager.
@meaganbme93@xanga - If she is a manager and making passes at you boyfriend he can report her to someone hire up for a job transfer or maybe have her transferred. What she is doing can be considered sexual harrassment. Your boyfriend just needs to explain the situation to the person who is hire up than his manager.
If your boyfriend wont report her, then I think it's time for a new one!
And thank you to everyone who's told me to "calm down". After what she did lastnight, I really needed to hear that today. [: I don't want to seem jealous or anything. I'm definitely not. I'm a very "catering" person when it comes to the people I care for. It's not the fact that he's my "boyfriend" because I'd be the exact same way if he was my brother or a friend especially since it's upsetting him as much as it is.
My fiance's manager hit on him openly, multiple times when he worked at Wendy's. She was pretty much his mother's age, but this woman was beautiful. Very youthful looking, attractive... so although she was older, it made me nervous. She would talk about how handsome he was, called me a "ball and chain" once (oh, that was sweet of her), and basically treated ME as a nuisance.
I was pissed and told him to report her many times. He refused and also told me I shouldn't get involved because it would stir up a shitload of trouble. I bit my tongue, and he quit, and as far as I know they don't talk anymore... they used to talk outside of work before he met me.
I don't know what to contribute, but I can emphasize. I didn't know what to do either... like I said, I tried to get him to report her for sexual harassment, but if your man doesn't want to do that, there's not much you can do but trust him to do the right thing besides reporting her. But I understand that you want to punch the bitch's face in. I wanted to, too
File a complaint.
The heart wants what the heart wants, but sounds like a case of sexual harassment if she won't stop even after he explained.
This isn't really your issue. He explained the situation to you, now let him handle it. If it becomes hard for to work there he should file a complaint. It's not your issue, IMO.
Oh I've been there. There was this girl that was in my bf's class and they had to work together in this big group. Ironically enough we had been in classes together since the third grade so she knew me quite well. She knew Mike and I were dating but tried to flirt with him all the time. Unfortunately I couldn't say shit to her because Mike being nice to her (while trying to keep quite a safe distance) was a must in order for their whole group to pass the film class. I did say a few things to other people that got around to her, like the fact that I was going to kick her ass if I ever saw her, and she did eventually stop, but that wasn't before I threw some roadkill in her driveway with a few friends.
I'm still not sure if she knew it was me. I mean, I never came off as a person to leave dead animals around, but it felt good thinking that she was going to find a severely squished cat (sad, I know) in her driveway the next morning. And for the record, I was only the driver :) I didn't touch that poor cat with a ten foot pole.
In any case, it's a rough situation. Your bf really is the one to handle it since he works with her. And maybe you should spread a few comment around that possibly will get back to her. Eventually she should back off.
It sounds like you are a bit insecure if you are that upset because somebody hit on him. Men flirt with my fiance all the time, I don't blame them for trying, she's hot as hell, I only take issue if they don't respect the refusal she gives them. If she hit on him once, and he turned her down and that was the end of it, that isn't sexual harassment. However, If she continued to flirt and abused her authority to attempt to force some kind of relationship, then he would have a case for sexual harassment. Either way he should be able to handle himself and take care of it.
@meaganbme93@xanga - I highly doubt involving you would solve anything. He needs to see to a higher up to stop the issue if he is uncomfortable with it.
Kicking her ass can backfire you and calling or confronting her about it will just make the matter at hand worst especially at his work place.
If he already told her to stop making passes at him and she still does, what makes you think she will stop if YOU intervene?
You're not doing anything but pouring gasoline to a fire that is already spreading.
This sounds like a Human Resources issue, not your issue...
That is you in your picture right? Your a 7 - 8, and you sound intelligent. She is a 4 working at Diary queen. You win.
@ohforrealson@xanga - I'm glad we share this experience. Those who comment saying that the desire to hit someone for REPEATEDLY flirting with your boyfriend who keeps telling them to stop is out of insecurity have evidently never experienced it.
@SexyGamerGirl@xanga - You definitely have one of the best replies to this so far. [: When the incident that occured yesterday happened, numerous co-workers said in front of her, "She's going to end up hitting you". She definitely stopped after that.
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - It's not a "one time" situation. It seems to occur everytime she works with him now. And he mentions everytime she says something that he has a girlfriend. I'm not angry that she flirts with him, I'm angry that she's testing me because she tells him to "go back and tell your girlfriend". There's a difference between being insecure and being someone who can't stand up for themselves. I ALWAYS stand up for myself. . .
Um. My man works and will work full time at a hospital full of young, female nurses. All we can do is rely on trust and give our men the benefit of the doubt- as much as they would have to give us when we're with our co-workers in the future.
@meaganbme93@xanga - It's so not insecurity. It's rage. lol! But I resonate, girl