Friday, 10 June 2011
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"You Look Like My Favorite Porn Star!"
My fiance told me last night that he thought of something weird, but didn't want to tell me. After about an hour of me getting curious, worried, and finally pissed off, he told me. "I know you're insecure about your body, but you shouldn't be. You look like my favorite porn star."Here's the problem: his favorite porn star is pretty famous for wearing pigs masks and cleaning toilets, and other things that I don't really care to mention.
After some quick "Googleing" (I already knew who she was, but couldn't remember the face) I decided we do look pretty similar in the face/body department, but still.... Do I really look like someone who once said she was curious what it'd be like to 'fuck a monkey'? She is pretty and all, but now it's got me wondering if he thinks about her when we're being intimate, or if he wants me to do things that she does in her films.
How should I feel about this? Should I be glad he thinks I have the right looks to be a porn star, and be flattered, or should I be offended he even thought of something like this? Have you ever been in a similar situation?
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- From: IWasAnIsland@xanga
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Comments (85)
I think you should be more worried about your boyfriend's porn-watching preferences, personally.
Just because she's done those things in some of her porn doesn't mean those are the ones he watches. Most porn stars film hundreds of movies in a year.
If these are questions going through your mind, why don't you ask him, and not Xanga?
I haven't dated guys who said that, but I've jokingly asked a guy if he would star in pornos since he has a big enough peen
guys often don't get offended, but flattered. they often said that they wouldn't be a pornstar though. a guy asked if I would make my own porn site, which I replied that I wouldn't have sex, but I'd model fetish clothes, so it is just hot pictures like a pinup model. I think some fantasies and other things regarding attraction to other females should be kept to himself. he can watch or think about them since he doesn't personally know these females, just do it in private.
I've been complimented in a similar manner before. I just own it because it was a compliment! I dunno...maybe its not his favorite porn star because of _____ reason but because SHE looks like YOU?? I dunno..just talk to him about it, I'm sure it will make your relationsihp stronger!
I wouldn't be offended. He probably did mean it as a compliment... men think on a different plane than women do, so remind yourself that they don't have the same thought process
As for your discomfort, perhaps you should assess how you feel and present it to him? Tell him you're not sure what to do with that information, if he WANTS you to even do anything with it (re-enact her, uh, scenes)... you know, have a heart to heart. But if it was a comment in passing, maybe he just meant it, as I said before, as a compliment
I've had my boyfriend give me the same compliment. I just smile, roll my eyes and move on. Some people look like other people, it doesn't mean that YOU look like a porn star. I'm pretty sure he was just saying you looked like her in general. And just because the girl might do weird stuff in the porn doesn't mean he wants you to do those things. Trust me. Most of us with strange fetishes can separate reality from fantasy. And if we chose to bring it into reality it's with a consenting partner.
i think you should think about the compliment as "you are hot'
If she's hot, it's a compliment.
He's marrying you, isn't he? That means he loves you and wants to commit his life to you, and you're really not into the stuff she does in the films, so it's not as though that kind of thing ever is much of a factor when he says he loves you and wants to be with you! So I wouldn't worry that he might be thinking of a pornstar when he's with you :P.
I don't know whether I'd take something like that as a compliment (nor an insult), but just know it's not an indicator that he wishes for something he watches on a screen over you. All the best :).
Shouldn't ask the question if you aren't ready for the answer. Overthinking a simple (to him) statement doesn't help either of you. Especially not him.
your body is like hers, not your personality.
I'm sure he meant it as a compliment.
@Grtt@xanga - It doesn't bother me that he watches stuff like that since I watch stuff that he finds extremely odd too.
@ohforrealson@xanga - I'm just not really sure how to bring it up since it's been a few days. I definitely won't "reenact" some of her more out-there scenes, but I'd be more than willing to give some of it a try since he knows I always want to try new stuff. I'm just not sure if that's what he meant, or if he really was just giving me a compliment.
@Just_AJ@xanga - I am ready for the answer, I think you misunderstood. I'm not really bothered by it, I'm just not sure what to think or how I should go about asking him about it.
@fiona_fitzpatrick@xanga - She is hot, her picture is the one posted above. And we actually do look very similar. Like sisters.
@superGchik@xanga - Well I don't know if he's been thinking of her, that's something I'm asking him tonight when we go to bed. I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't bother me if he did once in a while, but I mean if he's only thought of her like once or something it wouldn't be such a big deal...I'd definitely be upset if it became a regular thing for him.
To me, that would be a weird even as a compliment. I would just talk to him about it, more indepth probably.
@IWasAnIsland@xanga - When I said "don't ask questions you don't want answers to", I didn't literally mean the answer. I mean if you are going to end up questioning how he sees you now (referring to superGchik's comment; assumptions like that will screw up a relationship forever), then you are overthinking it, and it will hurt the trust between the two of you for a comment he felt uncomfortable telling you about in the first place.
What I'm failing miserably in saying is, try not to let it get to you. He is probably more concerned about your reaction to the statement than the actual statement.
LMFAO. that's too gooood :'D
and yes, it's a compliment - .-
@Just_AJ@xanga - Well the whole reason I had to beg him to tell me was because he thought it was weird that he even made the connection, and he thought I'd get freaked out by it or even mad. So I know his intentions are good, but I'm still just not really sure how to go about talking to him about it or if I should, or what I should say or a whole mess of things like that.
i think it's a compliment. when he's not having sex with you, he's masturbating to someone who reminds him of you. it's sweet, if you think about it =P
i once asked my bf what who his favorite porn star was, and he doesn't have one. he does, however, like very pale, curvy blonde women. and, hey, that's me! xD
What do you guys think about ur ex boyfriend still looking at your xxx pics, sending you dirty emails...even if he has an actual gf?
@superGchik@xanga - Yup. I don't like someone I'm with thinking of a different person either. She should be thinking about ME.
If you read into it, I'm sure you could come up with some very disturbing conclusions. I think however it was just a superficial compliment. It would only be an issue if there were other symptoms that suggested something weird was going on. I wouldn't be paranoid though.
Even though I like porn, my girlfriend doesn't have to do porn star shit in order to turn me on. She also doesn't have to look like a porn star to turn me on.
Don't know why girls are so insecure about this stuff.
I'm a little worried about the preferences myself, but if someone looks like his favorite porn star, then I guess you don't have to worry too much about him digging into his porn stash anytime soon. Despite what the porn star is famous for, I'd personally consider it an odd perk.