I took a sociology course recently about public schools in America, and there was an article that had to do with the achievement gap between males and females. BTW, females do better. HA.
There have been multiple theories about why girls do better in school, and many studies have been done regarding this "issue." One of the theories was "social powerlessness theory," which basically says that women do better in school because they recognize that there is gender inequality in the world, and that education will help them procure a more educated, "better" husband, and enable them to become "better" wives.
When I first read about this, my feminist blood boiled a little. My reaction was "whaaaaat?? If this is true, then aren't women just perpetuating the inequality?!" And plus, I have no desire to become a trophy wife.
But then I thought about it some more, and it is true to a certain degree... I do recognize that in order to maintain the standard of living that I have now, I will need the second source of income, and as a (hopefully potential) teacher i won't be making big bucks. So in that sense, I did pursue higher education to meet a more educated partner. It definitely wasn't something I thought about though- it was simply a fortunate benefit.
My current boyfriend is an electrical engineer major with a double minor in math and mathematical physics. His title alone sounds like it would make big bucks! However, while I do consciously look for a more educated man, I don't pursue education in order to "be a better wife." I pursue it for myself, for my own career.
I'm not saying that educated men with the potential to land well-paying jobs are ONLY found in college settings, or that men who don't make enough money aren't good husbands, but technically, it would be easier to find the former in college/university, or in the workplace with an abundance of college-educated workers.
Which brings me to the culminating question: do you think education is an important aspect of meeting Mr. Right? Do you take your own education into consideration?
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I met my boyfriend in high school, before I really knew his intentions for the future. We are too involved now so instead of breaking it off and finding someone more motivated or educated. I will push him to be more motivated in school and more educated so he doesn't rely on me for income. I will not settle for a job that doesn't end up paying AT LEAST over 100,000$ a year. BUT that does NOT mean he is allowed a free ride. He will work, and he will work hard to make just as much as me because I want a man with similar career goals (at least in the terms of a high paying job) and to have those career goals he'll need to be educated and motivated. He wants nothing less and nothing more for me. We are both pushing each other to do better so we can be monetarily comfortable when we get married and not have to rely on each other.
Meh I don't think school necessarily has anything to do with meeting the right guy, but more having similar values and goals. If you put a value into your post secondary education than it's only natural that you'd look for a guy that does the same :)
haha i've heard of girls who hang out in the library on the weekend just to meet more successful guys. never met one of these girls myself, though. i'm a very, very strong believer in education and couldn't possibly see myself being serious with a girl who didn't do some kind of graduate program. (i've also heard that married couples with similar education levels are less likely to divorce.)
by the way, you have two contradictory statements:
"I'm not saying that educated men with the potential to land well-paying jobs are ONLY found in college settings" -- isn't this your definition of educated? and if not, what is?
"So in that sense, I did pursue higher education to meet a more educated partner. It definitely wasn't something I thought about though- it was simply a fortunate benefit." -- okay so first you say you did, and then you say you didn't. which one?
One group of scientists studied 1,074 couples, and they concluded that for a successful relationship, the "wife should be at least 27 per cent more intelligent than her husband. She should also hold a degree, while he should not." (Source)
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - i took into consideration that it is possible for a guy to be educated without going to college, just as it is possible to be intelligent without going to college (like bill gates- dropped out of harvard). And the second contradictory statement, i meant that i didn't sit there, working on my college apps, going "yes! with this, i will meet a successful husband!"
it is kind of confusing, huh...
I don't understand this study or its conclusions at all.
"One of the theories was "social powerlessness theory," which basically says that women do better in school because they recognize that there is gender inequality in the world" Okay, this part makes sense. Women recognize that there is inequality for them in the world and the workforce and so they do better in school. But then wait, their conclusion from this is that they do this because "education will help them procure a more educated, "better" husband, and enable them to become "better" wives." ?? WHAT THE FUCK?
Wouldn't the most OBVIOUS conclusion from that study go something like this instead: "women do better in school because they recognize that there is gender inequality in the world and that they will most likely need to work harder in order to get where they need to go... therefore making them more dedicated students and harder workers than their male counterparts." ?
All the women I know pursued higher education because they are ambitious, driven women and/or they recognize that in this day and age they can not rely on anyone to "support" them in life and therefore need to secure an education/job in order to provide a stable future for themselves. And I don't think it's brain science that people who value higher education for themselves are probably going to be attracted to others who put the same value in education that they do.
So to your question... I think education is an important aspect OF Mr. Right, but not of meeting him. And no, I would never make a decision about my education (and for that matter, the money spent on it) based on the hope that I'd find a "better" husband there.
Most educated men want educated women, at least to start with until that mid life crisis sinks in.
I'm not gradumated yet, so this doesn't apply to me? Haha.
No, but really, education doesn't mean much. My guy graduated with a film in degree - not exactly something that is going to mean big bucks unless he really gets lucky. Intelligence is far more important than Education.
Intelligence =/= Educated.
I met my boyfriend at a wine bar. We had a mutual friend who had some other friends gathering and he dropped by as I dropped by from a Fundraising event. My fiance (bf) doesn't have a degree but he'll be pursuing an EMBA in Environmental Engineering in the fall and although, while most BA holding champions would need years of experience and networking to achieve this, due to his field being such a specialty corner, even without a post-sec degree, he got in.
But then, he has a photographic memory, he is a boss of at least 4 guys who are old enough to be his young uncle (fiance turning 30, his "guys" are like mid 50s, youngest "guy" is 40).
When I was in my post-sec/univ, I dated guys that were younger, were there for the sake of Pub Night or through friends. Although, it had been a requirement for me to be seriously dating a guy; he must have some sort of education/career for me to consider him SERIOUSLY with potential, because my parents would not approve otherwise. I didn't pursue post-sec education for a better quality of "man" although, how else would you meet one if you worked where your fellow peers were still in High school or clubbed every weekend? And the mutual friend that happened to have ME and the fiance meet at the wine bar went to a totally diff. school, and WE met looong time ago through another friend in a chat forum about why Koreans were fiesty. AHHAAHAH so... yeah...
The concept has its points to support that many women pursue education to better themselves but also to meet someone with a higher education and/or experience to bring in the bacon so when I'm home playing with my baby, I won't have to stress/fret about $$ with the hubby. Isn't that what your mothers (my mom sure did) encourage you to find? -_-;
I could see your point, but I think that what's more important than a man who has a college education is a man who has a plan of what he wants to do after he attains it. There have been one too many people who I have known who has graduated but have no idea of what they want to do after the college life - a huge deal-breaker for me. I strive for higher education because I want to be successful for myself (NOT to meet men specifically... I find that kind of silly), and I admire men who have the same ideals. However, I also know that some people can be successful without needing a college degree, which I find equally attractive. So I'd say that my idea of Mr. Right is a man who is successful and goal-oriented, college-educated or not.
An educated woman would likely have similar beliefs and values as myself, so in that regard, yes, they would make a better partner.
@micah - What you said. I did not get the conclusion to that study at all. I was reading it and was like... I know where this is going... and then suddenly BAM! "Getting a better husband". WTF mate? That conclusion made no sense.
@Spectrophile@xanga - Yep, I would only go for an educated girl. I don't want to have to carry the conversation, pay all the bills etc etc just for some V-G-G. I want an equal who can help me create a future, rather than someone who wants me to do everything for them. So yeah, the beliefs and values would be the same, plus intelligence and ability.
What kind of feminist are you if you're saying "Females do better. HA!" to rub it in males' faces?
It's about equality. It's women who think that we're somehow better than men who give feminism a bad name. Thanks for that, really.
No. Education does not define a person. It's all the moments in your life and how you handle them and react to them that make you who you are and who you are is so much more important than how many books you've read.
oh no, I wanted a higher paying job, so I can go shopping more and buy lots of prettiful things
guys are dispensable and an extra benefit, so I don't factor them into my future
I have this mindset because my single mom did fine without a man. I learned that the only reliable person is myself, not a guy or anybody else for financial or emotional reasons either. happiness is within is so true in my experiences. I never thought about how going to college will make me a better wife, but how it can stabilize my income, so I can be independent
My attending college had nothing to do with dating whatsoever. I've always had the intention of doing things for myself, and that includes pursuing higher education. I had absolutely no thought of feminism or gender equality or anything like that.
That being said, I would like a guy that I date to have at least a bachelor's degree, which is what I have (unless he's successfully maintaining a career that didn't require college). Should I decide to go to grad school, I'm not sure if that would push my requirement up, but as of now it wouldn't--as long as the guy has a decent job and knows how to take care of himself.
@wyrdkismet@xanga - Exactly. At least that is how I think too.
Women who are bent on improving themselves will make better everything- employees, friends, wives, moms. Of course, college doesn't have to be the medium through which you improve yourself, that just happens to be the focus of the study- probably to give us all one more reason that it's necessary for any and everyone. Which isn't actually true.
for me, having a good education as a qualification is the same as having functioning limbs or hair for qualification.
so yes, it matters, a lot.
her tie's all messed up
in my sorority we joke that we go to undergrad to find our bridesmaids and graduate school to find out husbands so yes i totes agree with this
You're a gold digger -- who goes to be educated to find an educated moneybag... Interesting...
Oh please, don't deny you're not a gold digger (especially when you basically admit it with "So in that sense, I did pursue higher education to meet a more educated partner."); if you weren't, you'd go to college so that you, YOURSELF, can earn your own money instead of judging who you date with his career-type as a baseline requirement.
I have a pretty decent career myself but I have to make sure that who I date loves me -- for who I am and NOT what I can provide for her. I'm glad my girlfriend is a med student who takes turns paying for dates -- and will NOT look down on me for being more successful than me.
Women have to be careful with men who just want them for sex... but men have to be careful with women who want to take advantage of them financially.
I went on to graduate school and took education seriously because it was my wish and especially so I can stand on my own without a guy. However, my parents and many of her friends when they heard about graduate school did make a joke out of it, saying I'd meet a guy. That may have to do with the fact I'm in a male-dominated though.In any case, I'm proving this study wrong. I'm single.